1. You hijack conversations so you can talk about yourself.
Even if you don’t mean to, you always steer conversations back to yourself. It starts innocently, maybe by relating to what someone’s saying, but then a few seconds later, it’s literally all about you. This can happen without you even noticing. Friends start telling a story, and suddenly you’re sharing your own similar experiences or achievements. It’s not that you’re trying to steal the spotlight; it’s just a habit of making things relatable to you. But to everyone else, it can come off as self-centered.
2. You like to offer unsolicited advice.
Giving advice left, right, and center might seem helpful to you, but it can often look like you’re being narcissistic. You clearly think you know better and that you’re in a position to tell other people how to live their lives, and that’s really obnoxious. You might genuinely want to help, but constantly giving advice can make it seem like you’re trying to control or overshadow people. If someone asks for your opinions/suggestions, that’s fine, but sometimes it’s better to just listen and not fix. Remember, not everyone is looking for a solution; sometimes, they just want to be heard.
3. You dominate group settings.
In group situations, you end up taking charge pretty much every single time. It’s not that you want to boss everyone around; maybe you just feel more comfortable in a leadership role. You pick where you’re going to grab food, what you’re doing this weekend, and even what topics you discuss, which makes it seem like you’re being extremely narcissistic. It’s okay to let others call the shots sometimes. It’s not going to kill you!
4. You can never admit when you’re wrong.
No one wants to admit when they’re wrong, but you kinda have to if you don’t want to come off as a total jerk (and a narcissist). If you always blame everyone else for things you’ve done, that’s a sign of narcissism, according to Psychology Today. It shouldn’t be that difficult to be like, “Oops, my bad!” People will respect you more.
5. You expect special treatment.
Maybe you get upset when things don’t go your way or when you don’t get what you feel you deserve. This expectation of special treatment makes you seem spoiled, self-centered, and really childish. It’s not that you think you’re better than other people; you might just be used to a certain level of attention or privilege in your life. However, this can rub people the wrong way, making it seem like you think you’re above the rules or norms. You’re not the center of the universe, as hard as that might be to accept.
6. You have a hard time feeling (or showing) genuine empathy.
According to the National Library of Medicine, narcissism and empathy have long been correlated. You might struggle to put yourself in someone else’s shoes or understand their emotions, and as a result, you can come off as being cold or narcissistic when people open up about their problems. It’s not that you don’t care; it’s just that connecting on an emotional level doesn’t come naturally. You can’t make yourself into a person you aren’t, but you can try to hone your empathy skills a bit more. It’ll do you a lot of good in life.
7. You often take credit for other people’s work.
You might not realize it, but you could be taking credit for things you didn’t do all by yourself. It’s not about deliberately stealing the spotlight. Maybe you just get caught up in the success and forget to acknowledge other people’s contributions. This can be especially true in team settings, where you feel like you carried most of the weight (even if you didn’t). It’s not all about you — if you’re working with a group, make sure it’s the group that gets the credit.
8. You get defensive really easily.
When someone offers you feedback or criticism, you end up getting defensive really fast. It’s like your first instinct is to protect yourself, even if the feedback is constructive. This defensiveness can come off as not being open to growth or change. It’s not that you think you’re perfect, but it can seem that way to everyone else. Learn to take feedback gracefully, even if you don’t agree with it. People will see you in a much better light.
9. You have a habit of interrupting people when they speak.
You might not notice it, but interrupting people mid-sentence is a thing you do. It’s like you can’t wait to get your point across (even if it’s not really all that important/insightful). This might not come from a place of wanting to dominate the conversation; maybe you’re just really excited or passionate about the topic. Unfortunately, to other people, it can seem like you don’t value what they have to say because you’re too focused on being narcissistic and talking about yourself. Zip those lips and listen.
10. You tend to dismiss or minimize other people’s problems.
When friends share their troubles, you inadvertently dismiss them or compare them to your own, eventually concluding that you have it way worse. It’s not that you’re trying to belittle their issues; you might think you’re putting things into perspective. However, this can make it seem like you don’t take their problems seriously. You need to validate people’s feelings and experiences even if you think they’re minor. You’re not the judge and jury of what matters in life, you know.
11. You need constant validation for everything you do.
You need a lot of approval, reassurance, and validation from everyone around you, if you really think about it. This isn’t necessarily because you love attention, but it can come off that way. You might want people to reaffirm that you’re doing well or that people like you. While it’s natural to want that vote of confidence, relying on it can seem narcissistic. Start to validate yourself and you’ll be a whole lot happier.
12. You tend to exaggerate your achievements/situations in your life.
Sometimes you catch yourself exaggerating your stories or even your achievements. It’s not like you’re lying, necessarily, but you’re adding a bit of extra flair to make things sound more impressive, which is actually kinda sad. You’re probably doing it because you want to be admired or respected, but it can come across as being self-absorbed and narcissistic. Stay honest and humble — it’s not that deep. People don’t expect you to be some genius millionaire.
13. You struggle with deep, long-term relationships.
For some reason, your relationships never seem to last very long. Hmm… It’s not that you don’t want them, but they require a level of empathy and compromise that doesn’t always come naturally to you. As a result, your relationships tend to go south after just a few months because you just can’t meet your partners halfway. Could it be down to you being narcissistic? It’s worth considering!
14. You rarely show vulnerability.
Letting your guard down and showing vulnerability doesn’t come easy to you, and that’s fair enough — it’s hard to let people in, especially when you’ve been betrayed before. It might feel like being weak, but to other people, it can seem like you’re just committed to maintaining a facade of perfection even if that’s not the case. Being open about your fears, mistakes, and uncertainties can make you more relatable and less narcissistic.
15. You feel jealous or threatened by other people’s success.
When someone else gets the spotlight, you feel a twinge of jealousy or insecurity. You can’t help yourself! It’s not that you begrudge them their success, but it can trigger a feeling of being overshadowed. You then end up competing with other people because you feel like you have something to prove, and that makes you seem like a narcissist. Celebrate other people’s success as much as you do your own — there’s enough to go around!
16. You have a hard time saying “thank you.”
Expressing gratitude doesn’t always come naturally to you for some reason. It’s not that you’re not thankful, it’s more about not seeing the need to express it. However, not speaking up to thank people for all they do makes you seem self-centered, entitled, and a host of other not-so-positive adjectives. A simple “thanks so much” can go a long way, so speak up!
