You might have a black-or-white mentality about relationships: if you hit a dead-end, it’s time to break up. However, this isn’t always the case. According to Calm, sometimes, a relationship break in which you take some time away from your partner can be useful. Here are 15 times when a relationship break could work for you and your partner.
1. You only have a sexual connection.
Maybe the chemistry between you and your partner is really hot, but you’re not sure if there’s anything deeper there that will build a healthy, happy relationship. Taking a bit of time away from the person who’s confusing you with their physical attractiveness can help you suss things out.
2. You’ve lost yourself in the relationship.
You might feel like you don’t know who you are anymore because you’ve been compromising too much or putting your partner’s needs ahead of your own. You need time out to yourself so you can find yourself again, otherwise you won’t be able to have a healthy relationship.
3. You need to set some boundaries.
If you don’t have healthy relationship boundaries, this could cause you to be a people pleaser or a human doormat. Taking a bit of time away from the relationship to build your self-esteem and set healthy boundaries is important so you take care of yourself. Then you can come back from a much better starting point.
4. You and your partner can’t seem to agree on an issue.
There might be one issue that keeps plaguing you and your partner. Maybe it’s that you can’t agree on the decision to have kids or get married. Whatever the case, you might both have to step back from the relationship so you can figure out what you want. Maybe your paths have diverged a bit too far and things won’t work anymore. You’ll want to know that either way.
5. You’re not sure about the relationship.
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This is probably one of the first scenarios you think of when the idea of relationship breaks comes up. If you’re not sure if you want to be with the person, instead of wasting their time by going through the motions, you should take a break instead. It won’t be long before you figure out whether you can live without them or if you want them back.
6. You’re moving to another country.
Making the transition from being together to having a long-distance relationship isn’t easy. If you’re going to be away from each other for a long time, like if you’re moving to another country, you might have to take a bit of a break so you can think of how you want the relationship to move forward.
7. You’re fighting about the same things, or all the time.
You might be caught in a toxic fighting pattern where you’re stuck in a loop. You can’t seem to resolve things or you’re always nipping at each other. It’s destructive. Taking some space, even if it’s just a few days, can help you both calm down and get some perspective on the issue.
8. You’re healing from trauma.
There could be personal issues that are holding you back from having a healthy relationship, such as if you’re dealing with a past trauma from before you knew your partner. Dealing with your emotional baggage in your own time can help you return to the relationship with a clear head and heart.
9. You’re dealing with a mental health problem.
Another issue that you might have to deal with outside of your relationship is if you’re struggling with a mental health condition. Maybe your depression or anxiety is bringing you down and getting in the way of your relationship. By learning coping mechanisms, like “reframing” according to Verywell Health, you can dedicate more time and headspace to the relationship.
10. You have kids with your partner and you’re thinking of breaking up.
Sometimes a relationship break can be helpful for you to make the transition to having a complete breakup. An example is if you have kids with your partner and the technicalities of what a split would mean are complicated. The time apart can help your kids to better get used to the new normal.
11. Your relationship is a negative influence in your life.
If the relationship sometimes brings you down, you might not be 100 percent sure if you want to move forward with it – or let the relationship go. Taking stock of the relationship can help you make the best decision for your life.
12. You’ve got too much going on.
You might be dealing with a lot right now, and you can’t give a lot of yourself to your new relationship. For example, maybe you’re grieving a loved one or you’re struggling to get through your studies. Whatever the case, a bit of time to deal with your situation without cutting out your partner can be healthy.
13. You feel bored.
If you’re feeling bored in the relationship, you might need a breath of fresh air in the form of a relationship break. This can help you figure out what’s bothering you about the relationship and if you can salvage it.
14. You’re scared to break up.
You might want to break up with your partner, but you’re scared of the fallout or consequences. It’s not easy to go through with such a big decision. Taking a bit of time away from your partner can help you get used to not having them around.
15. Your trust is blown.
Maybe your partner cheated on you and you don’t know if you can forgive them. Or, your partner lied to you about their past and now you’re confused. If your relationship lacks trust, it could be good to separate from each other for a while so you don’t make a decision based on your partner’s influence.
