16 Confidence Killers That Derail Even The Most Secure People

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You’re extremely self-assured and aren’t riddled with insecurities, but you’re also a human, which means sometimes you feel a bit down or start to doubt yourself. When it happens, it can be pretty jarring, especially since you spend so much time and energy on bolstering your self-worth. Here are the habits you have that might be derailing you.

1. Falling into “Compare and Despair”

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Ever find yourself doom-scrolling through Insta, feeling like everyone else is living their best life? Yeah, that’s a surefire way to knock your confidence, even if you’re usually pretty solid. Remember, social media is all about the highlights, not the everyday struggles we all face. It’s important to focus on our own journey and progress, rather than getting caught up in someone else’s curated life.

2. Trying to Be Mr. or Ms. Perfect

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Aiming high? Awesome. But obsessing over every little thing until it’s ‘perfect’? Not so awesome. Trying to be perfect can really mess with your vibe and make you feel like you’re never quite up to scratch. Embrace the beauty of imperfection and give yourself permission to make mistakes – they’re great learning opportunities! After all, growth happens when we step out of perfection and embrace our flaws.

3. Letting Your Inner Critic Run Wild

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We’ve all got that little voice in our head that likes to point out our flaws. But let it get too loud, and it can seriously dent your confidence according to Psychology Today. Try to balance it out with some positive self-talk and remember, nobody’s perfect. You’re human and it’s okay to have off days, so cut yourself some slack.

4. Being Scared of Messing Up

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Fear of failure can be a real buzzkill. It can stop you in your tracks and make you second-guess yourself, even if you’re usually pretty self-assured. Remember, every failure is just a stepping stone on the path to success. You learn way more from a single failure than from a hundred victories, so embrace it!

5. Overthinking Every. Single. Thing.

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Ever get stuck in your own head, analyzing every decision until you don’t know up from down? Yeah, that can be a real confidence killer. Try to trust your gut instinct more – it’s usually right. And remember, overthinking won’t give you control, it’ll just steal your joy and keep you very busy doing nothing.

6. Letting Self-Care Slide

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Skipping workouts, eating junk, not getting enough Zzz’s – might not seem like a big deal, but it can really knock your self-image. Look after yourself, and your confidence will thank you. Plus, who doesn’t love a good night’s sleep? When you take care of your body, it takes care of you.

7. Not Standing Up for Yourself

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Finding it hard to say ‘no’ or stand your ground? That can chip away at your confidence over time, making you feel like your opinions don’t count. Remember, your thoughts and feelings are valid and important – don’t be afraid to express them! Standing up for yourself might feel tough, but it’s a powerful way to boost your confidence and self-respect according to BetterUp.

8. Ignoring Your Wins

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Nailed a project? Passed a tricky test? Celebrate it! Ignoring your wins is like telling yourself you’re not doing enough. Not great for your confidence, right? Every win, no matter how small, is a step forward. So take a moment to pat yourself on the back, you’ve earned it!

9. Trying to Keep Everyone Happy

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Being a people pleaser is exhausting. You can’t be everyone’s best bud, and that’s okay. Trying to be can really mess with your self-belief. Remember, it’s okay to put your own needs first sometimes. You’re not a superhero, and that’s perfectly fine – just being you is more than enough.

10. Staying Stuck in Your Comfort Zone

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Sure, it’s comfy, but it’s also where your confidence goes to snooze. Trying new things, even if they’re a bit scary, can really boost your self-belief. Give it a go! After all, life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Each time you face a fear or try something new, you’re showing yourself what you’re capable of.

11. Setting Unrealistic Goals

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Ever set a goal so big it feels downright daunting? That can majorly mess with your confidence. Ambition is great, but unrealistic goals can leave you feeling hopeless and overwhelmed. Break down your goals into smaller, manageable steps, and remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Each small step is a victory in itself, and before you know it, you’ll be on your way to achieving that big goal.

12. Relying on External Validation

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Looking for a confidence boost from likes, shares, and compliments? That’s a slippery slope. While external validation can give you a temporary high, depending too much on it can leave your confidence shaky. Remember, your worth isn’t determined by how many likes your selfie got. You’re awesome just the way you are, no validation needed.

13. Ignoring Your Intuition

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That gut feeling you get? It’s usually bang-on. Ignoring your intuition can lead to decisions that don’t feel right, which can really knock your confidence. Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do. And even if you do get it wrong, it’s all part of the learning process.

14. Carrying Past Failures with You

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Remember that time you messed up? Yeah, it stings. But carrying past failures with you can weigh down your confidence. Learn from them, sure, but then let them go. You’re not defined by your past mistakes but by how you bounce back from them. There’s no use getting stuck in the past.

15. Overcommitting And Being Addicted To Busy-ness

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Ever feel like you’re constantly on the go, with no time to just be? That can leave you feeling drained and low on confidence. Make sure to carve out some “me time” every day, even if it’s just a few minutes. Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.

16. Taking Criticism Too Personally

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Constructive criticism can sting, of course, taking it too personally can knock your confidence. Try to view criticism as a tool for growth, not a personal attack. It’s not easy, but learning to separate the criticism from your self-worth can boost your confidence in the long run. Remember, a critique of something you did is not a judgment of who you are.

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