If someone calls you intense, you might think they mean it negatively, like maybe that you’re “too much” to handle or that you have no chill. While that might be true, it’s not always a bad thing. An intense personality is a bit of a mixed bag, with both upsides and downsides to consider. Here’s how you know this adjective describes you.
1. You never take time to relax.
People might tell you that you never seem to stop, and it’s actually pretty true. You’re always busy doing something, and you fight hard to chase your goals. Nothing stands in your way, which is good, but it’s also healthy to stop and have some self-care on a regular basis so you don’t end up totally burnt out, according to Harvard Business Review. Just saying.
2. You’re so honest, you’re blunt.
You refuse to sugarcoat anything you tell your friends, family members, partner, or even colleagues. If someone asks for your advice, you’ll tell it to them straight, sometimes to the point of being blunt and dismissing their feelings on the matter. Ouch. While honesty’s great, try to be a bit more tactful in how you approach tricky conversations.
3. You open up right away.
When meeting someone new, you sometimes give them a tad too much information about yourself right off the bat. You’re an open book. In man ways, this is good because you’re open and transparent, but it can be overwhelming to people who don’t know you. It’s okay (and actually a good thing) to hold a bit back in the beginning. If they’re meant to be in your life, there’s plenty of time for them to get to know you more.
4. Your eye contact game is strong.
Generally speaking, eye contact is a positive body language technique to connect with others. However, if you’re staring people down during a conversation, this can be a bit intense. The other person might feel like you’re cornering them with your stare! Look them in the eyes when you’re speaking, but be willing to look away if things get a bit weird.
5. You can be a bit clingy.
You might be intense because you’re clingy with other people. For example, maybe when you start dating someone, you want to be around them 24/7 and you call them a few times a day even when you know they’re busy. While you clearly wear your heart on your sleeve, this can make you come across as desperate if you’re not careful.
6. Your moods are extreme.
If you’re prone to dramatic mood swings, you might throw people off. This is because you come across as unpredictable and confusing. Try to reel in your emotional reactions to things by doing breathing exercises or meditation so you find inner peace during chaos. This will help you find a bit more internal balance too.
7. You’re either loved or hated.
Take a look at the people around you. Do some really gel with you while other people dislike you a lot? Do you have best friends or enemies, but nothing in between? If it feels like others either love or hate you, it could be that your personality is intense and that you’re a pretty polarizing character.
8. You’ve been called “too much.”
If people have called you “too much” to deal with in the past, you might have felt like there was something wrong with you, but this isn’t necessarily the case. If someone tells you that you’re “too much,” go ahead and tell them that they should hang out with someone who’s less. You should never have to dim your light for anyone else.
9. You share your opinions right away.
You’re self-confident and don’t hold back from sharing your honest opinions, whether with friends or someone new you’ve just met. This might be intense, but as long as you’re tolerant and respectful of other people’s ideas, it’s a good thing because it shows that you’re comfortable in your skin.
10. You’re highly sensitive.
If you’re a highly sensitive soul, there are probably some things you try to avoid like loud noises, big crowds, and stressful situations. Some people might find that too intense to deal with, but there are plenty of benefits to being a sensitive person. You’re a more empathic and thoughtful person, for one thing, and that will serve you well in life.
11. You talk super fast.
When you talk to people, you speak really quickly as though you can’t seem to keep up with your racing mind. Other people might sometimes struggle to get a word in or follow what you’re saying. Phew! It’s exhausting. Try to slow down a bit and organize your thoughts a bit better so it’s not so overwhelming for other people and you still get your point across.
12. You refuse to apologize for being yourself.
One of the best things about being called intense is that you don’t care what others think about you. That’s amazing! You refuse to apologize for being authentically yourself, and if others don’t like it, then they can leave. This can be off-putting to people who are less confident, but those who are secure in themselves will admire the same quality in you.
13. Your relationships all start with a whirlwind romance.
You tend to jump into relationships really quickly, and they tend to start as whirlwind romances. You get swept up in the rush and endorphins, but sometimes you end up crashing back down to earth. Ouch. This could happen because you’re drawn to intense, emotionally charged situations. Try to take a more measured response when you can.
14. You push yourself hard.
When you want to achieve something, whether it’s a fitter body or a work promotion, you put your everything into being successful. It gets to the point that it starts to dominate your life, which isn’t always a good thing. You might lack a healthy work-life balance because you’re so all or nothing (and if you need help overcoming that all-or-nothing thinking, here’s how, according to Verywell Mind).
15. You sidestep small talk.
You’re a deep person and want to connect with people on serious, deep levels. However, that also means you have no time for small talk. You’d rather chat about people’s dreams than the weather, as this stimulates you to focus on your own life and what really matters. Find people who are on the same page if you want to have more engaging conversations.
