Setting high standards can push you to achieve success, but when they are impossible to meet, you can become trapped in a cycle of frustration and low confidence. Being stuck in a rut of striving to achieve impossible standards is exhausting and a form of self-sabotage. Here are 15 signs your high standards are holding you back and how to break free.
1. You Struggle to Delegate
When you set high standards for yourself, you think you can do it all. You find it hard to support or trust others to do things as well as you would. This leads to taking on too much, which can quickly become overwhelming and cause burnout. Start delegating tasks and accept that everyone has limitations, even you and not everything has to be done at lightning speed or absolutely perfect.
2. You’re Never Satisfied
No matter how hard you strive and how much you accomplish, you are never satisfied. When you do reach a goal, instead of celebrating, you raise the bar higher. This relentless pursuit of perfection and overachieving robs you of the joy and satisfaction you deserve. Start acknowledging and appreciating your successes, even the small wins.
3. You’re Overly Self-Critical
You’re your own worst and harshest critic. Every flaw or perceived mistake, no matter how minor, makes you feel like a gigantic failure. You replay missteps in your mind, convincing yourself you could—and should—have done better. This constant self-criticism strips away your confidence and makes it challenging to stay focused on your goals or recognize growth. Stop beating yourself up.
4. You Avoid Taking Risks
Those high standards may cause you to play it safe because of a fear of failure. You avoid taking risks or trying new things because you’re afraid it won’t be perfect. Being stuck in this prevents you from growing, learning, and experiencing new opportunities. Taking risks is a crucial part of personal and professional growth, and stepping out of your comfort zone is an opportunity.
5. You Play the Comparison Game
If you constantly compare yourself to others, you can feel like you have never measured up. This bad habit feeds into your obsession with high standards, making you feel stressed out and inadequate. Don’t measure your progress against others; focus on what you are doing well and celebrate your achievements.
6. You Don’t Know How to Relax
You are always on. Even when you have downtime, your mind is racing a million miles with thoughts of what you “should” be doing. This makes you feel guilty for taking a break. Not being able to unwind is a sign your high standards are running your life and taking a toll on your mental and physical health. Learning to relax and recharge is essential to success and self-preservation.
7. You’re Afraid of Being Judged
You obsess over what others think of you and fear they’ll judge you for not being perfect. This fear can stop you from being authentic and make you overly cautious in your interactions. It’s exhausting to constantly try to live up to others’ expectations or unrealistic ideals. Letting go of the self-imposed standards and need for approval to feel more liberated and confident in your abilities.
8. You’re Never Proud of Yourself
Even when you do achieve something significant, you tend to downplay your accomplishments rather than acknowledge and celebrate them. This lack of self-recognition and inability to feel proud or accept praise is a sign your high-standard mentality is sabotaging your achievements. Practice self-compassion, track your achievements no matter how small, and feel proud of your hard work and ethic.
9. You Demand Perfectionism
Perfectionism is the gold standard of high standards and sets you up for failure. You spend so much time trying to perfect every detail that you struggle to complete tasks and can develop analysis paralysis. Accepting that “good enough” is better and more realistic than perfect will lower your stress and anxiety levels and help you move forward confidently and effectively.
10. You Set Unrealistic Goals
Your goals are so ambitious that they’re often unattainable, setting you up for disappointment. While aiming high is admirable, setting unrealistic goals can lead to feelings of failure and frustration. It’s important to break down big goals into smaller, more manageable steps and to celebrate progress along the way.
11. You Feel Burned Out
Burnout is a common side effect of trying to maintain high standards. You push yourself to the brink, constantly striving to meet impossible self-imposed expectations. When you’re mentally and physically burned out, you can feel stuck, unmotivated, and even resentful. Recognizing the signs of burnout and prioritizing rest and self-care arecrucial for breaking out of this cycle.
12. You Have Difficulty Making Decisions
High standards cause analysis paralysis—you’re so afraid of making the wrong choice you struggle to make one at all. You overthink every option, worrying it won’t live up to your standards. This chronic indecision makes you stuck in limbo. Learn to trust your instincts and accept that not every decision has to be perfect or mean the end of the world.
13. You’re Never Truly Happy
Even when things are going well, you never fully feel happy and content. You’re always focused on what could be better rather than what you have achieved. This constant striving induces feelings of dissatisfaction even in the face of success. Learning to appreciate and feel gratitude for the present moment.
14. You Avoid Asking for Help
Your high standards make you feel like asking for help is a sign of weakness or failure. You believe you should be able to handle everything on your own, so you resist reaching out or collaborating. This can lead to unnecessary stress and feelings of isolation and overwhelm. Asking for help is not a weakness—it’s a strength that will allow you to overcome challenges more effectively.
15. You Struggle to Let Go
Whether it’s a project, a relationship, or an idea of what your life “should” look like, you constantly meditate on it. You cling to things long after they’ve stopped serving you because you fear the unknown. This inability to let go keeps you stuck in a rut, unable to achieve anything. Embrace change and new ways of thinking and possibilities, and let things give you a sense of relief.
