Being cheated on seriously blows. It destroys your ability to trust, knocks your sense of self-worth, and leaves you feeling betrayed and alone. Plus, according to Psych Central, it can even traumatize you. However, once you get over the initial pain, you realize there are actually some upsides to the experience — it’s all about perception. Here are some good things that come from being on the receiving end of infidelity.
1. You Discover Your Strength.
After you stop feeling sorry for yourself (which you have every right to do for a while, I might add), you discover a strength you didn’t know you had. You learn to pick yourself up, heal, and move forward. You realize you’re stronger than you ever imagined and if you can get through this — which you can and will — you can do anything.
2. You Learn to Trust Your Instincts.
Those gut feelings you had were completely right. As a result, you start to trust your intuition a bit more and listen to that little voice inside that tells you when something’s off. It’s a valuable lesson that will serve you well in the future. When the red flags start waving, you notice them and act accordingly.
3. You Understand Your Worth.
Cheating can shatter your self-esteem in the immediate, but as you get further down the line, you begin to understand your worth. You realize you deserve better, that you deserve respect and honesty. That’s such a powerful realization because when you know your worth, you don’t accept discounts. (Corny but true!)
4. You Learn What You Want in a Relationship.
I know it doesn’t take rocket science to think, “You know, I’d rather not have a partner who cheats on me,” but hear me out here. Going through a betrayal like this, you learn what you truly want in a relationship. What you thought was important might change. You begin to value trust, communication, and respect above everything else, which could make some of the more superficial qualities you were looking for fall off the list.
5. You Become More Compassionate.
Experiencing this kind of pain can make you more compassionate towards other people, oddly enough. You understand what it feels like to be hurt and you wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s a hard-earned empathy, but it serves you well. You’re much more sympathetic towards heartbreak even if you used to roll your eyes at it before.
6. You Learn to Forgive.
This doesn’t mean you have to forgive the person who cheated on you, obviously (no thanks!) — it means you learn to forgive in general. You understand the power of letting go, of not holding onto anger and resentment. It’s not for the other person’s benefit, it’s for your own. It gives you freedom, and that can’t be underestimated.
7. You Find Out Who Your True Friends Are.
In times of crisis, the fake friends in your circle suddenly become apparent. The ones who stand by you and support you are your real friends, and knowing who you can count on is a great thing to learn. You can get rid of the hangers-on who were only there for a good time and focus on the relationships that really matter in your life.
8. You Learn to Love Yourself.
Sometimes, after being cheated on, you eventually learn to love yourself more. You focus on your own needs and your own happiness. You learn that self-love is the first step towards healing and moving on and that no one is going to ever be able to treat you better than you can treat yourself.
9. You Become More Independent.
Being cheated on can force you to stand on your own two feet a little bit more. You learn to rely on yourself, to make decisions on your own, and to be way more independent. It’s a valuable lesson in self-sufficiency. That’s not to say that you can or should do everything alone, just that you get to take pride at just how much you can do for yourself.
10. You Learn to Appreciate Honesty So Much More.
After being lied to, you come to appreciate honesty in a whole new way. You value people who are straightforward and truthful and realize that you would much rather hate the truth someone tells you than be fooled by a lie told to supposedly spare your feelings. That ability and willingness to speak honestly is one of the biggest, best things you can do.
11. You Learn to Let Go.
Letting go is one of the hardest lessons to learn, but it’s also one of the most important. You learn to let go of the betrayal, the pain, and the anger. You realize that when you hold onto these things, you can never truly move forward and be free, so you’re willing to drop the load. It’s an incredible feeling, to be honest!
12. You Realize It’s Not Your Fault.
It’s easy to blame yourself when you’re cheated on, but you eventually realize it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person who did it. Their actions are a reflection of them, not you — that’s an important thing to understand. Once you stop blaming yourself, you can put the fault where it belongs.
13. You Grow So Much.
According to Business Insider, self-improvement is maybe the best thing to come out of being cheated on. You learn, you change, you evolve. You become a stronger, wiser, more compassionate person, and that’s the silver lining in this painful experience. You get that much closer to becoming the best possible version of yourself, and that’s incredible.
