Small talk is usually the go-to when it comes to forging a connection with someone new, but not everyone is into it. Chatting about menial topics can admittedly be kinda boring and not all that enlightening, and luckily, it’s not the only way to bond with someone or determine chemistry with someone. If you hate small talk but still want to bridge a gap, here are some things to try instead.
1. Dive into their hobbies.
Getting to know someone is way easier when you chat about what they love doing. Ask them about their hobbies. You might find out they’re into painting, hiking, or maybe they’re a secret chess wizard. This opens the door to more meaningful conversations than just weather chat. You can even suggest sharing these hobbies together, which is a cool way to bond. Plus, you might discover a new interest for yourself too.
2. Share your favorite music.
Music is a great conversation starter and it’s not your typical small talk. Ask them about their favorite bands or songs. You can swap playlists or recommend each other some tunes. This can lead to discovering common musical interests, and it’s a fun way to learn about someone’s personality. Plus, it’s always cool to get new music recommendations. If they’re not into music (sacrilege, I know, but it’s true for some people), you can sub books, movies, sports teams, whatever… more on that later.
3. Talk about food (because who doesn’t love to eat?).
Talking about food can be a delicious way to get to know someone. Ask about their favorite cuisine or if they like cooking. You could even plan to try a new restaurant or recipe together. Food often ties into culture and personal stories, so it’s a great topic to explore. And hey, who doesn’t like talking about tasty treats? Plus, if you hang out again, it may give you inspiration for restaurants to hit up.
4. Talk about all the places you’ve been/would like to go.
Ask about places they’ve traveled to or where they dream of going and share your own. Travel stories can reveal a lot about a person’s interests and experiences. Plus, it’s a topic that usually sparks excitement and enthusiasm. You can share travel tips, favorite destinations, or funny travel mishaps. It’s a great way to connect on a deeper level without getting stuck in the mundane.
5. Talk about the best movies/TV shows you’ve seen lately.
Movies and TV shows are great icebreakers. Ask what they’ve been watching lately or their all-time favorites. This can lead to some fun and engaging conversations. You might find a shared love for a series, or get some cool new recommendations. It’s also interesting to hear why they like certain genres or films, giving you more insight into their tastes and personality. If they loved “The Bear” but hate “Squid Game,” you might have a complex personality on your hands…
6. Discuss recent reads.
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If they enjoy reading, ask about their favorite books or authors. Discussing books can open up a whole new world of conversation. You can share your own recent reads, exchange book recommendations, and maybe even start your own mini book club. Plus, the books someone enjoys can tell you a lot about their interests and worldview. Maybe you can add each other on Goodreads and give each other ideas on what to read next!
7. Delve into your future goals.
Casually bring up future aspirations or dreams. This can range from career goals to personal achievements they’re aiming for. It’s a more engaging topic than the usual ‘what do you do?’, and it shows you’re interested in their ambitions and hopes. Plus, talking about future dreams can be really inspiring and motivating.
8. Play a fun question game.
Suggest playing a light-hearted question game. You can take turns asking each other random, quirky questions. This can range from ‘If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive, who would they be?’ to ‘What’s your favorite childhood memory?’. It’s a fun way to learn random but interesting facts about each other.
9. Share what you’re up to over the weekend.
Weekends can reveal a lot about a person’s interests and lifestyle. Chat about how they usually spend their weekends. Are they into lazy brunches, hiking adventures, or maybe they’re a DIY project enthusiast? This can lead to discussions about common interests and potential plans to hang out. Plus, it’s always fun to hear how people unwind and enjoy their free time.
10. Talk about your pets
If they have pets, ask about them. Pet stories can be both hilarious and heartwarming. Sharing photos and anecdotes about furry friends is a great way to bond. You can talk about funny habits, training challenges, or the joys of having a cat or dog. (I know I could talk about this for hours!) Even if you don’t have pets, you can still enjoy their stories and maybe share some about some you’d like to have.
11. Share some of your favorite childhood memories.
Everyone has some fun or special memories from their childhood. Sharing these can be a delightful way to learn more about each other. It’s a conversation filled with nostalgia and often leads to some really interesting stories. Plus, it gives a glimpse into their background and the things that have shaped them.
12. Talk about what’s going on locally.
Discussing local events or activities can be a great way to find common ground. Maybe there’s a festival coming up, a new restaurant opening, or a community project. This not only gives you something to talk about but might also give you ideas for future outings together. It’s a practical way to make plans while getting to know each other.
13. Ask about what they do with their free time.
Knowing how someone likes to unwind can tell you a lot about them. Share your relaxation techniques and ask about theirs. Whether it’s yoga, video games, reading, or taking long walks, it’s a topic that’s usually filled with positive vibes. Plus, you might pick up some cool ideas to destress.
14. Open up about recent life changes.
Life is always throwing us curveballs. Talking about recent life changes, like moving to a new city, starting a new job, or picking up a new hobby, can be really enlightening. It shows you’re interested in their current life and the changes they’re experiencing. Plus, it’s a conversation that can naturally evolve into deeper topics.
15. Share fun facts.
Fun facts are, well, fun. Share an interesting fact you’ve recently learned and ask if they have any to share. It could be about science, history, or a random trivia. This can lead to a playful and informative conversation, and you’re likely to learn something new. It’s a light way to engage without the pressure of personal topics.
16. Discuss what you’re passionate about.
Share something you’re passionate about and ask them about their passions. It’s a great way to show your authentic self and encourage them to do the same. Passions can range from social causes to hobbies. This kind of conversation can be really inspiring and engaging, creating a deeper connection.
17. Share some recent achievements.
Celebrating small wins is always a mood booster. Share a recent achievement of yours, no matter how small, and ask about theirs. It could be something like finishing a book, mastering a recipe, or hitting a personal goal. It’s a positive way to encourage each other and build a supportive conversation. Plus, it’s always nice to share and celebrate successes, big or small.
