15 Signs You Let Your Emotions Control You Instead Of The Other Way Around

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If you’ve been feeling a bit all over the place lately, then welcome to the club. We’re all human, which means we’re all susceptible to the whims of our emotions. But there’s a fine line between experiencing feelings and letting them run the show. Let’s explore signs that might indicate your emotions have taken control of the steering wheel of your life.

1. You struggle to focus on tasks

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When emotions are in control, concentration often goes out the window. You might find it hard to focus on work or daily tasks because you’re preoccupied with your feelings. Like, no matter how much you try to turn your attention toward that spreadsheet at work, you can’t help but wander back to wondering why your partner hasn’t responded to your text.

2. You have extreme reactions to criticism

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If even constructive feedback feels like a personal attack, that might be your emotions at play. You see, they’re interpreting everything as a threat, and as a result, you may become defensive, shut down, or lash out when faced with criticism. The truth is, your feelings are just trying to protect you but they’re also kinda running the show.

3. You often feel overwhelmed

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Frequently feel like you’re drowning in your own feelings? Unable to cope with the intensity of your emotional experiences? That’s a sign that you’re emotions might be in charge. They bog you down so much that you don’t know what’s up or down.

4. You’re constantly looking for excitement or drama

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If whenever you’re not emotionally stimulated, you start to feel antsy or bored, your feelings might be addicted to drama. It’s possible that you might create problems where there are none or seek out intense experiences just to feel something. Essentially, you’re emotions are an adrenaline junkie and are always trying to find the next big thrill.

5. You struggle with decision-making

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Do even the simplest decisions feel like solving a rubiks cube? Yup, those emotions are making themselves known. You might agonize over choices, second-guess yourself constantly, or avoid making decisions altogether. It leaves you feeling confused, frustrated, and unproductive.

6. You’re a perfectionist

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Perfectionism often stems from emotional insecurity. If you find yourself obsessing over getting everything just right, that’s probably your emotions trying to tie your self-worth to your performance. Your feelings are never satisfied, no matter what you do. But hear this: you are enough.

7. You avoid conflict at all costs

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No one likes conflict. But no one hates it more than you. You’re so afraid of the negative feelings that might arise, that you’d rather sweep issues under the rug. This leaves you in a place where you never get anything resolved because you’re so scared of the consequences.

8. You’re a chronic overthinker

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If you spend hours analyzing every interaction, replaying conversations, or imagining worst-case scenarios, looks like your emotions are rearing their heads! You didn’t sign up for this mental field trip of doom, yet, here you are—wondering why you didn’t say anything when your friend was yelling at you for something you didn’t do.

9. You struggle with addiction or compulsive behaviors

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Emotional regulation (or the ability to control your emotional state, according to Psychology Today) issues often go hand-in-hand with addictive or compulsive behaviors. Whether it’s substance abuse, overeating, or compulsive shopping, these behaviors are often attempts to manage your overwhelming emotions. It’s their way of taking control.

10. Small things trigger big reactions

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Spilled coffee ruins your entire day. A minor critique at work sends you spiraling. If you find yourself having outsized reactions to relatively small events, your emotions might be in the driver’s seat. Sure, no one likes it when these things happen, but people who control their emotions are able to keep their reactions more balanced.

11. You make impulsive decisions

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Buying things you don’t need because you’re sad, quitting your job in a fit of anger, or texting your ex at 2 AM because you’re lonely. If any of these sound similar to something you’ve done before, those emotions are getting in the way of your rational decision-making skills.

12. You struggle to maintain boundaries

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It’s extremely hard to stick to your guns when your emotions are ruling over you. You might find yourself saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” or letting people cross lines you’ve explicitly drawn. It’s because the “I feel bad” emotions are completely usurping the “I deserve to have my needs respected” ones.

13. You’re easily influenced by others’ moods

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If you find yourself taking on the emotions of those around you like a mood sponge, you might be letting external feelings dictate your internal state. You’re basically an emotional chameleon, changing moods to match whatever environment they’re in.

14. You have frequent emotional outbursts

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Crying at work, yelling in traffic, or having a meltdown over a minor inconvenience—yup, the emotions are in charge, alright. Your feelings are simmering beneath, just waiting to boil over and it’s taking over your life.

15. You have a hard time letting go of grudges

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Holding onto past hurts and resentments is a sign that emotions are in the driver’s seat. If you find yourself nursing old wounds long after they should have healed, your feelings are likely keeping you stuck in the past.

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