Love—what a rollercoaster, right? One moment you’re on cloud nine, and the next, you find yourself wondering why those butterflies died. If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “Do I still love my partner?” you’re not alone. We’re exploring 15 behaviors that might indicate your feelings have changed. Now, don’t panic if you recognize one or two—relationships have their ups and downs! But if you’re nodding along to several of these, it might be time for some honest reflection.
1. You stop fighting (but not in a good way)
Counterintuitive, right? But hear me out. While constant arguing isn’t healthy, a complete lack of conflict can sometimes indicate that you’ve stopped caring enough to engage. If you find yourself saying “whatever” and walking away instead of trying to sit with your partner and resolve issues, it might mean you’ve checked out emotionally.
2. Your partner’s success doesn’t excite you
When we’re in love, our partner’s wins feel like our own. So, if you find yourself feeling indifferent or, worse, resentful when your partner gets the big raise at work or runs a marathon, that’s not a good sign. You should be invested in their happiness and success—any emotion other than that is one worth investigating.
3. You criticize more than you compliment
Every couple has moments when they’re frustrated with each other. That’s natural! But if you’re noticing that your words to your partner are more critical than kind, it’s time for some self-reflection. Love has a way of bringing out our inner cheerleader—and when you can’t access that peppy persona, it might indicate your feelings have changed.
4. Physical intimacy feels like a chore
Let’s talk about the bedroom activity. Or rather, the lack of it. If the thought of getting intimate with your partner feels more like a tedious task than an exciting, spontaneous thing, it’s worth examining why. According to Psychology Today, a decrease in physical affection—not just the full ded, but also kisses, hugs, and casual touches—can be a clear indicator that the spark has fizzled out.
5. You’re easily irritated by their habits
Everyone has their quirks, you included! But you’ve started to notice that your partner’s little habits, which you once found cute, are driving you up the wall. Part of being in love means overlooking or even adoring our significant other’s imperfections. So if you’re annoyed by things you used to find endearing, it’s worth taking a hard look at the future of the relationship.
6. You don’t feel the need to resolve conflicts
Disagreements don’t magically disappear and people who are in love know this. That’s why they do what it takes to resolve issues that arise. On the other hand, when you’ve emotionally checked out? That urgency to make things better goes away. Maybe you think it’s not worth the effort and as a result, unresolved issues pile up, creating more distance between the two of you. According to Betterhelp, this distance can make you even less motivated to work on the relationship, leading to more unresolved problems. A vicious cycle.
7. You don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable
There was a time in your relationship when you were unabashedly yourself—you felt comfortable sharing your fears, dreams, and insecurities (yes, even that weird-looking birthmark) with your partner. But, if you no longer feel the desire or need to be vulnerable around them, that’s not a good sign. Closing yourself off could very well be your subconscious mind telling you that you’re no longer in love.
8. You stop including them in future plans
You and your partner used to have such a strong vision of the future—maybe it was moving in together or adopting a puppy. If you find yourself not wanting what you once did or making plans that don’t involve your partner—like what you’re doing next weekend—it could be because you’re not in love anymore and don’t see them as a part of your long-term picture.
9. Communication becomes surface-level
You used to stay up till the wee hours of the morning having deep, soul-baring conversations. But now? Your chats don’t go deeper than a kiddie pool. They revolve around the mundane stuff, like grocery lists and utility bills. If you’re not feeling the desire to connect with them at an intense level, it could mean you’re no longer in love.
10. You daydream about being single
Do you catch yourself fantasizing about the freedom of single life? Sure, it’s normal to occasionally wonder “What if,” you’re only human after all. But if these thoughts are frequent and filled with fantasies about going on dates, meeting a stranger at a bar, or even cheating, that’s a big problem. And it means you’re probably not fully invested in your current relationship anymore.
11. You stop sharing the little things
When you’re in love, you want to share everything with your partner—even the silly things! So if you don’t feel the need to text them about something funny that happened at work or call them when your song comes on shuffle, there’s trouble in paradise. Not sharing the little things, no matter how insignificant, speaks volumes.
12. You keep secrets or lie by omission
Trust is everything in a relationship. But recently, you’ve found yourself hiding things from your partner—not surprises, but serious aspects of your life, like how your boss put you on a performance plan or that your sister is leaving her husband. Feeling no need or straight-up not wanting to share these things with your partner is a sign of low emotional intimacy and connection.
13. You don’t miss them when you’re apart
In the early days of your relationship, you would miss your partner when you were apart—whether it was for a day or longer. But if you notice that extended time alone makes you feel more relief, than longing, well we’ve got some bad news. It probably points to the fact that you’re falling or have already fallen out of love.
14. You’ve stopped making an effort
You used to dress up for date nights or surprise your partner with little gifts. If you can’t remember the last time you actually tried, then your feelings could be waning for your partner. When we’re in love, we naturally want to show up and impress our significant other. But a lack of effort shows your heart’s just not in it anymore.
15. You stop celebrating milestones and special dates
Birthdays, anniversaries, and other special dates tend to be a big deal when we’re in love. But recently, you’ve felt like these occasions aren’t that big of a deal and they kind of feel like obligations rather than opportunities to celebrate your love. If this is the case, your relationship might be on the outs.
