We all curate a version of ourselves for public consumption, highlighting our strengths and downplaying our “weird” side.
However, behind the polished facade, there are often aspects of our personalities we’d rather keep hidden. It’s not about being fake; it’s about protecting ourselves, fitting in, or simply avoiding judgment. Here are some of the most common yet unspoken traits that many people try to keep under wraps.
1. Insecurity
Deep down, many of us (most of us, if we’re being honest!) battle with insecurity. We might doubt our abilities, worry about our appearance, or fear rejection. But we often mask this insecurity with bravado, overcompensating, or looking for constant validation. We might project an image of confidence, but internally, we’re battling self-doubt. It’s a common human experience, but one that we often hide for fear of seeming weak or vulnerable.
2. Jealousy
Seeing someone else succeed or achieve something we desire can trigger feelings of envy. We might try to downplay their accomplishments or convince ourselves we don’t really want what they have. However, envy is a natural human emotion, and acknowledging it can be the first step towards addressing it. Instead of letting envy consume you, use it as motivation to work towards your own goals and aspirations, The Cut suggests.
3. Anger
Anger is often seen as a negative emotion, so we try to suppress it or express it in socially acceptable ways. We might bottle it up, passive-aggressively lash out, or channel it into other activities. But anger is a valid emotion, and acknowledging it can be a healthy way to process and release it. Finding constructive ways to express anger, like through exercise or creative outlets, can help prevent it from festering and hurting ourselves or other people.
4. Fear of failure
The fear of failure can be paralyzing. It can prevent us from taking risks, trying new things, or pursuing our dreams. We might convince ourselves we’re not ready or that we’re not good enough. But failure is an inevitable part of life, and it’s often through our failures that we learn and grow the most. Embracing the possibility of failure can be liberating and open up new opportunities for growth and success.
5. Vulnerability
Letting our guard down and showing our true selves can be scary. We worry about being judged, rejected, or hurt. So, we often put up walls, hide our emotions, and pretend we have it all together. But vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s a strength. It allows us to connect with people on a deeper level, build trust, and create meaningful relationships. Embracing vulnerability can be a transformative experience that leads to greater self-acceptance and authentic connection with the people around us.
6. Shame
Shame is a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy or worthlessness. It’s often rooted in past experiences, trauma, or perceived shortcomings. We try to hide our shame by pretending it doesn’t exist, overachieving to prove our worth, or blaming other people for our problems. However, shame thrives in secrecy. Talking about it openly, asking for support, and practicing self-compassion can help us heal and overcome this debilitating emotion.
7. Loneliness
Even the most extroverted people can experience feelings of loneliness. We might feel disconnected from people, like we don’t truly belong or fit in. But we often hide this loneliness behind a facade of busyness or social engagement. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel lonely, and reaching out to people for connection and support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sharing our feelings of loneliness can open the door to deeper connections and help us feel less alone.
8. Jealousy
Feeling jealous of people is a natural human emotion, but it’s one that we often try to hide. We might pretend to be happy for someone else’s success while secretly feeling resentful or envious. But acknowledging our jealousy can help us understand our own desires and insecurities. It can also motivate us to work towards our own goals and find fulfillment in our own lives.
9. Pettiness
We all have moments of pettiness, where we hold on to grudges or feel a twinge of satisfaction when someone who wronged us faces a minor setback. But we often try to suppress these feelings, as they can be seen as childish or immature. It’s important to acknowledge our petty impulses, but also to recognize that holding onto negativity doesn’t serve us in the long run. Letting go of pettiness can be liberating and allows us to focus on more positive and constructive emotions.
10. Greed
Greed, the insatiable desire for more, can manifest in various ways, from hoarding material possessions to craving power or recognition. While it’s a natural human instinct to want more, unchecked greed can lead to unethical behavior, strained relationships, and a lack of contentment. We often try to hide our greed, fearing judgment or social repercussions, but acknowledging and addressing this trait can lead to greater self-awareness and a more balanced approach to life.
11. Boredom
We often feel pressured to constantly be engaged, entertained, and productive. So, when we experience boredom, we tend to feel guilty or ashamed, as if it’s a personal failing. But boredom can be a natural and even healthy state of mind. It can lead to creativity, introspection, and a deeper appreciation for the simple pleasures of life. Embracing boredom, instead of fighting it, can open up new possibilities and perspectives.
12. Regret
We all have regrets about things we’ve done or left undone. These regrets can haunt us, causing us to dwell on the past and question our choices. But we often try to bury these feelings, pretending we’re not affected by them. Acknowledging our regrets, however, can be a powerful catalyst for growth and change. It allows us to learn from our mistakes, forgive ourselves, and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose.
13. Self-doubt
Even the most successful and confident people experience self-doubt from time to time. We question our abilities, worry about our future, and wonder if we’re truly capable of achieving our goals. But we often try to mask our self-doubt with a facade of confidence, fearing that revealing our insecurities will make us appear weak or incompetent. Embracing our self-doubt, however, can be a transformative experience. It allows us to confront our fears, challenge our limiting beliefs, and ultimately grow into more resilient and confident individuals.
14. Need for approval
We all crave validation and acceptance from other people, but when the need for approval becomes excessive, it can do some serious damage, Psych Central warns. We might constantly fish for compliments, go out of our way to please everyone, or sacrifice our own needs and desires to gain approval. This constant striving for external validation can leave us feeling empty and unfulfilled. Recognizing and addressing this need can encourage us to work on building a stronger sense of self-worth and find validation from within.
15. Fear of the unknown
The unknown can be scary, whether it’s starting a new job, moving to a new city, or simply trying something outside our comfort zone. We often try to avoid the unknown, clinging to familiar routines and predictable outcomes. But stepping into the unknown can be exhilarating and lead to unexpected opportunities and growth. Embracing the uncertainty of life can help us become more adaptable, resilient, and open to new experiences.
