We all have quirks and habits, some we pick up from our families, friends, or even from the media we consume.
However, sometimes what we consider normal might actually be a subtle red flag for unhealthy behavior or thinking patterns. Here are some behaviors that might be more common than you think, but are actually not okay.
1. You apologize excessively, even when it’s not your fault.
While politeness is a virtue, constantly apologizing even when you’ve done nothing wrong can signal a lack of self-worth or a deep-seated need for approval. It’s important to take responsibility for your actions, but don’t devalue yourself by apologizing for things that are beyond your control. As Psych Central reminds us, healthy relationships involve mutual respect, and that includes respecting yourself.
2. You constantly compare yourself to other people, both online and offline.
Social media makes it easy to fall into the comparison trap, but constantly measuring yourself against other people, whether it’s their looks, achievements, or possessions, can be a recipe for unhappiness. Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and your worth isn’t determined by how you stack up against someone else. Focus on your own goals and celebrate your own progress, not someone else’s highlight reel.
3. You avoid saying “no” to people, even when you’re overwhelmed.
It’s great to be helpful and supportive, but constantly saying “yes” to every request, even when you’re already stretched thin, can lead to burnout and resentment. It’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup, and sometimes the most helpful thing you can do for people is to take care of yourself first.
4. You put your needs last, always prioritizing everyone else before yourself.
Selflessness is admirable, but neglecting your own needs can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and even health problems. It’s important to practice self-care and make time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember, you can’t give what you don’t have, and taking care of yourself allows you to show up as your best self for the world.
5. You engage in negative self-talk and constantly criticize yourself.
We all have insecurities, but if you’re constantly putting yourself down, focusing on your flaws, and telling yourself you’re not good enough, it’s time to reframe your inner dialogue. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, and challenge those negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Remember, you’re worthy of love and respect, starting with your own.
6. You chase validation from external sources, like social media likes or compliments.
While external validation can feel good in the moment, relying on it for your self-worth is a slippery slope. It’s important to cultivate a sense of self-love and confidence that comes from within, not from other people’s opinions. Remember, your value is inherent, and it’s not determined by the number of likes on your latest post or the compliments you receive.
7. You have difficulty setting boundaries and communicating your needs effectively.
Healthy relationships require clear communication and boundaries. If you struggle to say no, express your feelings, or assert your needs, it can lead to resentment, misunderstandings, and even conflict. Learn to communicate your needs assertively and respectfully, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries to protect your time and energy.
8. You avoid conflict at all costs, even when it’s necessary to address an issue.
While nobody enjoys conflict, avoiding it altogether can lead to unresolved issues, pent-up resentment, and ultimately, damaged relationships. It’s important to learn how to communicate your concerns in a calm and respectful manner, and to work collaboratively to find solutions that work for everyone involved. Remember, healthy conflict can lead to growth and stronger relationships.
9. You bottle up your emotions instead of expressing them.
While maintaining composure is important, suppressing your emotions entirely can lead to emotional build-up and, eventually, outbursts or breakdowns. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated. Expressing your emotions in a healthy way can actually strengthen your relationships and improve your mental well-being. Find healthy outlets for your emotions, whether it’s talking to a trusted friend, journaling, or engaging in physical activity.
10. You feel guilty for taking time for yourself or pursuing your own interests.
Everyone needs time to recharge and pursue their passions. Feeling guilty for prioritizing your own well-being can lead to resentment and unhappiness. Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential for maintaining your mental and emotional health. It also makes you a better friend, partner, and family member. Give yourself permission to do things you enjoy, without guilt or shame.
11. You constantly check your phone during conversations or social interactions.
While technology has become an integral part of our lives, constantly checking your phone when you’re with other people can be incredibly rude and disrespectful, Time points out. It signals that you’re not fully present or engaged in the conversation, and it can make the other person feel unimportant. Put the phone away, make eye contact, and actively listen to what the other person has to say. It’s a simple act of courtesy that can make a big difference in your relationships.
12. You don’t know how to accept compliments or praise.
While humility is a virtue, deflecting or downplaying compliments can be a sign of low self-esteem. It’s okay to graciously accept praise and acknowledge your achievements. When someone compliments you, simply say “thank you” and allow yourself to feel good about it. Don’t brush it off or minimize your accomplishments. Accepting compliments is a healthy way to build your self-confidence and acknowledge your worth.
13. You feel responsible for fixing other people’s problems, even when it’s not your job.
It’s natural to want to help those we care about, but taking on the burden of solving their problems can be emotionally draining and unsustainable. Remember, everyone is responsible for their own lives and choices. Offer support and guidance when appropriate, but don’t feel obligated to fix everything for them. Setting healthy boundaries and knowing when to step back is important for both your well-being and theirs.
14. You avoid difficult conversations because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
While it’s important to be considerate of other people’s feelings, avoiding difficult conversations can actually do more harm than good. Bottling up your concerns can lead to resentment and misunderstandings. It’s important to communicate your needs and feelings honestly and respectfully, even if it means having an uncomfortable conversation. Remember, honest communication is the foundation of healthy relationships.
15. You say “yes” to things you don’t want to do to avoid disappointing people.
People-pleasing can be a hard habit to break, but constantly putting other people’s needs efore your own can lead to burnout and resentment. It’s okay to say no to things you don’t want to do or don’t have time for. Learn to prioritize your own well-being and set boundaries that protect your time and energy. Remember, saying no to something you don’t want to do is not selfish; it’s a necessary act of self-care.
