Working with manipulative coworkers can be a drain, but it’s sometimes hard to pinpoint exactly what makes them so difficult.
They might not be twirling their mustaches or tying damsels to train tracks, but their subtle tactics can leave you feeling used, confused, or even a little crazy. So, what tricks do these workplace villains have up their sleeves?
1. They play the victim to avoid taking responsibility.
Ever noticed how some coworkers always seem to have a sob story? A manipulative colleague might constantly complain about how much work they have, how unfair their boss is, or how their personal life is a mess. They’ll never admit fault or take ownership of mistakes, but they’re quick to blame other people. It’s a classic way to deflect criticism and garner sympathy.
2. They use flattery to get what they want.
A manipulative coworker might shower you with compliments, praise your work, or even buy you small gifts. But beware, it’s not always genuine. They often use flattery as a tool to soften you up before asking for a favor, getting you on their side in a conflict, or simply manipulating your perception of them, Psychology Today warns.
3. They create drama and conflict to distract and control.
Some manipulative coworkers thrive on chaos. They might spread gossip, pit colleagues against each other, or start unnecessary arguments. This keeps everyone distracted and off balance, making it easier for them to control the narrative and get their way.
4. They twist your words and actions to suit their agenda.
These types of coworkers have a knack for misinterpreting your words and actions, usually in a way that paints them in a positive light and you in a negative one. This is a form of gaslighting, a manipulation tactic designed to make you doubt your own perception and judgment.
5. They isolate you from your support network.
A manipulative coworker might try to create a wedge between you and your other colleagues or even your friends outside of work. They might gossip about other people to you, discourage you from socializing with them, or even try to turn them against you. This leaves you feeling isolated and more dependent on them.
6. They make you feel guilty or indebted to them.
Manipulative coworkers might do small favors for you, offer unsolicited advice, or go out of their way to help you with a project. While it might seem kind at first, it’s often a tactic to make you feel indebted to them. They’ll later use this “debt” to manipulate you into doing what they want.
7. They use passive-aggressive behavior to undermine you.
Instead of addressing conflict directly, a manipulative coworker might resort to passive-aggressive tactics, like backhanded compliments, sarcastic remarks, or subtle sabotage. This allows them to express their hostility or disapproval without openly confronting you, making it difficult to address the issue directly.
8. They withhold information or give you the silent treatment.
A manipulative coworker might withhold crucial information, leave you out of the loop on important decisions, or simply give you the silent treatment. This can create a sense of unease and make you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around them.
9. They take credit for your ideas or work.
A manipulative coworker might subtly steal your ideas in meetings, present your work as their own, or downplay your contributions to a project. This can be incredibly frustrating and demoralizing, especially if it goes unnoticed by other people.
10. They play on your emotions to get what they want.
Some manipulative coworkers are masters at emotional manipulation. They might feign distress to get you to help them, guilt you into doing extra work, or even try to create a sense of competition or rivalry to motivate you. Be wary of anyone who seems to be constantly playing on your emotions.
11. They gossip and spread rumors to undermine people.
As Fortune points out, manipulative coworkers often use gossip and rumors as a weapon. They might spread misinformation about you or other colleagues, exaggerate minor incidents, or create drama out of thin air. This can damage reputations, sow discord, and create a toxic work environment.
12. They make promises they don’t intend to keep.
Be cautious of manipulative coworkers who make grand promises or offer to help you with something, only to back out later or deliver subpar results. They might use this tactic to gain your trust or favor, without actually intending to follow through on their commitments.
13. They constantly change the rules or expectations.
Manipulative coworkers might constantly shift the goalposts, change project requirements at the last minute, or make up new rules as they go along. This can keep you off balance and make it difficult for you to succeed, allowing them to maintain control and avoid accountability.
14. They undermine your confidence and self-esteem.
A manipulative coworker might subtly criticize your work, belittle your accomplishments, or make you feel incompetent or inadequate. This can chip away at your confidence and make you doubt your abilities, making you more susceptible to their manipulation.
15. They use charm and charisma to disarm you.
Manipulative coworkers often possess a certain charm or charisma that makes them seem likeable and trustworthy. They might be friendly, outgoing, and even funny. However, don’t let their charm blind you to their manipulative tactics. Remember, a friendly facade can easily hide a more sinister agenda.
