Trauma can be a tricky thing. Sometimes we’re aware of it, but other times our minds tuck it away in an effort to protect us. While this can be a coping mechanism in the short term, repressed trauma often finds ways to manifest in our lives, affecting our behaviors, relationships, and overall well-being. Here are 15 signs that you might be repressing trauma, along with suggestions on how to address them.
1. Feeling like you’re living a double life
If you feel like you’re constantly putting on a mask for the world and hiding your true self, it might be a way of protecting yourself from vulnerability.
What to do: Start by being more authentic with people you trust. Ask them to help you explore your true values and interests. Consider therapies like art or music to help you connect with and express your authentic self.
2. Perfectionism or control issues
Trauma can make the world feel chaotic and unsafe. As a result, you might try to regain a sense of control through perfectionism or micromanaging your environment and relationships.
What to do: Practice letting go of small things, set realistic expectations for yourself and others, and remind yourself that imperfection is a normal part of everyone’s lives.
3. Addictive or compulsive behaviors
Addiction and trauma are often closely intertwined. Many people with unresolved trauma turn to substances or compulsive behaviors as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions or to numb pain.
What to do: Seek professional help for addiction if needed. Explore healthier coping mechanisms like exercise, art, or meditation to replace harmful behaviors.
4. Difficulty forming or maintaining relationships
If you struggle to connect with others or find yourself sabotaging relationships, it might be your subconscious trying to protect you from potential hurt. That’s because your trauma is on high alert and tells you to trust no one.
What to do: Take small steps to open up to trusted friends or family members or even consider joining a support group where you can practice building connections in a safe environment.
5. Chronic pain or unexplained physical symptoms
According to the U.S. Office of Veterans Affairs, our bodies often carry the weight of our emotional pain. Unexplained headaches, backaches, or digestive issues can all be physical manifestations of repressed trauma.
What to do: See a doctor to rule out any medical causes. If they don’t find anything physical think about investing in mind-body practices like yoga or tai chi, which can help release stored tension.
6. Emotional numbness
Do you sometimes feel like you’re just going through the motions of life without really feeling anything? This emotional detachment could be a defense mechanism against painful memories or events.
What to do: Gradually expose yourself to activities that evoke emotions, like watching moving films or listening to expressive music. Practice naming and acknowledging your feelings as they arise.
7. Outbursts or irritability
Repressed trauma can simmer beneath the surface. The problem with this is that it occasionally erupts as seemingly disproportionate anger or irritation over minor issues.
What to do: Learn healthy anger management techniques, like deep breathing or counting to ten. Martial arts or other physical activities that provide an outlet for strong emotions are also a great idea.
8. Difficulty concentrating or memory problems
According to Psychology Today, trauma can hijack your brain’s resources, making it hard to focus on daily tasks or remember things clearly.
What to do: Practice mindfulness to improve your ability to stay present. Use organizational tools like planners or apps to support your memory and most importantly: be patient with yourself as you work on these skills.
9. Avoidance of certain places, people, or situations
If you find yourself going out of your way to avoid specific places, people, or situations without understanding why, it could be your subconscious protecting you from reminders of past trauma.
What to do: Gradually expose yourself to the situations you typically avoid in a controlled, safe manner. This might be best done with the guidance of a therapist using techniques like EMDR or exposure therapy.
10. Chronic feelings of guilt or shame
Trauma survivors often internalize negative beliefs about themselves, leading to persistent feelings of guilt or shame, even when there’s no logical reason to feel that way.
What to do: Challenge these beliefs! Write down all of the evidence that contradicts them. Talk to yourself every day in a positive way by practicing compassion exercises.
11. Sleep disturbances or nightmares
Repressed trauma can surface in your dreams or make it difficult to get restful sleep.
What to do: Establish a calming bedtime routine. Maybe have a cup of tea and read a book before you turn the lights out. If nightmares are still happening, you may want to keep a dream journal and discuss recurring themes with a therapist.
12. Difficulty trusting your own judgment
If you’ve been in situations where your trust was betrayed or your safety compromised, your brain might start to question every decision as a protective measure. You might think, “If I was wrong about that person/situation being safe, what else might I be wrong about?”
What to do: Start with small decisions and build up. Reflect on times when you have made good choices. It might be worth it to look into a life coach who can help you rebuild your decision-making confidence.
13. Hypervigilance
Always feeling on edge or constantly scanning for threats? This heightened state of alertness is a common trauma response.
What to do: Practice grounding techniques, like box breathing or body scanning, to remind yourself of your present safety. Engage in regular relaxation exercises to help your nervous system reset.
14. Unexplained feelings of sadness or depression
Sometimes, repressed trauma can manifest as a persistent low mood or unexplained sadness.
What to do: Seek professional help if this is happening more often than not. Engage in activities that bring you joy, like painting or running, even if you don’t feel like it at first. Regular exercise can also be a great mood booster.
15. Shame about your body
Body shame stemming from trauma, especially physical or sexual, can be a complex issue. It goes beyond typical body image concerns and can significantly impact a person’s relationship with their physical self and overall well-being
What to do: Practice body neutrality by following body-neutral or body-positive social media accounts. Consider working with a therapist who specializes in body image issues.
