We’ve all come across people who, despite their initial charm, leave us feeling drained or uncomfortable. These people often display certain behaviors that, over time, can push others away. These aren’t always obvious red flags, but rather subtle patterns that can destroy trust and create distance in relationships. So, what are these toxic behaviors that can scare people off?
1. They’re constantly negative and critical.
Nobody enjoys being around someone who always sees the glass as half empty. A person who constantly complains, criticizes people, or focuses on the negative aspects of life can be incredibly draining. Their negativity can spread like wildfire, leaving people feeling down and discouraged. Over time, people may start avoiding them to protect their own emotional well-being.
2. They’re manipulative and controlling.
People who try to manipulate or control people often do so subtly, making it difficult to recognize their tactics at first. They may use guilt trips, passive-aggressive comments, or veiled threats to get their way. This behavior can create a sense of unease and distrust in people, causing them to distance themselves from the manipulator.
3. They lack empathy and emotional intelligence.
A lack of empathy means that a person struggles to understand or share people’s feelings. This can make them seem cold, callous, and uncaring. They might make insensitive comments, dismiss people’s feelings, or fail to offer support when it’s needed. Over time, this lack of emotional connection can create distance and resentment in relationships.
4. They’re overly jealous and possessive.
Jealousy, to some extent, is a natural human emotion, Psychology Today acknowledges. However, when it becomes excessive and possessive, it can be a major turnoff. People who constantly question their partner’s whereabouts, accuse them of infidelity without reason, or try to isolate them from their friends and family create an unhealthy and suffocating environment that can drive people away.
5. They’re inconsistent and unreliable.
Consistency and reliability are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. People who are constantly changing their plans, breaking promises, or failing to follow through on commitments can be incredibly frustrating to deal with. This unreliability creates a sense of instability and uncertainty, making people hesitant to invest their time and energy in the relationship.
6. They’re overly dramatic and create unnecessary conflict.
Some people thrive on drama and conflict. They may blow small issues out of proportion, create arguments for attention, or constantly stir up trouble. This behavior can be exhausting and emotionally draining for those around them. People may start avoiding them to maintain their own peace and tranquility.
7. They’re dishonest and deceitful.
Honesty is the foundation of any healthy relationship. People who habitually lie, cheat, or deceive people destroy trust and create a sense of insecurity in those around them. Once trust is broken, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to repair. This can lead to the breakdown of relationships and cause people to distance themselves from the untrustworthy person.
8. They’re disrespectful and inconsiderate.
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and consideration. People who consistently disrespect others, belittle their opinions, or disregard their feelings create a toxic atmosphere that can be hard to bear. This lack of respect can damage self-esteem and create resentment, eventually causing people to seek healthier and more supportive relationships.
9. They’re always the victim.
A toxic trait that can be difficult to recognize is the perpetual victim mentality. These people always seem to be facing some sort of injustice or hardship, and they never take responsibility for their own actions. They blame everyone else for their problems and constantly seek sympathy and attention. This behavior can be draining for those around them, who may feel obligated to constantly offer support and reassurance, even when it’s undeserved.
10. They’re never wrong and refuse to apologize.
Nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. However, toxic people have a hard time admitting when they’re wrong. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and instead, deflect blame onto other people. They may also be unwilling to apologize or make amends, even when their behavior has clearly hurt someone. This stubborn refusal to acknowledge their own flaws can be incredibly frustrating and alienating for those around them.
11. They’re envious and resentful of other people’s success.
Instead of celebrating people’s achievements, toxic people often feel envious and resentful. They may belittle the accomplishments of their friends, family, or colleagues, or try to undermine their success. This negativity can create a toxic environment and make it difficult for other people to feel happy or supported.
12. They gossip and spread rumors.
Gossip and rumors can be hurtful and damaging. People who engage in this behavior often do so to boost their own ego, gain attention, or create drama. They may spread misinformation, exaggerate the truth, or share private details about people without their consent. This can create mistrust and damage relationships, making people wary of confiding in them or spending time with them.
13. They’re emotionally unavailable and distant.
Emotional intimacy is an important part of any healthy relationship. People who are emotionally unavailable may struggle to express their feelings, offer support, or connect with anyone on a deeper level. They may seem distant, aloof, or uninterested in the lives of those around them. This lack of emotional connection can leave people feeling lonely, isolated, and unfulfilled in the relationship.
14. They take more than they give.
Healthy relationships are built on reciprocity. Both parties should feel valued, supported, and appreciated. However, toxic people often take more than they give. They may constantly ask for favors, demand attention, or expect people to cater to their needs without reciprocating. This one-sided dynamic can leave people feeling used, resentful, and unappreciated.
15. They cross boundaries and disrespect personal space.
Everyone has a right to personal space and boundaries, Psych Central points out. Toxic people, however, often disregard these boundaries. They may overshare personal information, make unwanted advances, or intrude on the privacy of others. This behavior can be invasive, uncomfortable, and even threatening. It’s important to establish clear boundaries with these individuals and to assert yourself if they are crossed.
