Growing up in a family where one child receives preferential treatment is a common experience. Whether intentional or not, being the “golden child” can shape your personality and behaviors in subtle ways that last into adulthood. If you were favored by your parents or caregivers, you might recognize some of these traits in yourself. Remember, awareness is the first step toward understanding and growth.
1. You have a strong sense of self-worth.
Growing up with constant praise and affirmation can instill a deep-seated belief in your own value and abilities. You might carry this confidence with you into adulthood, believing in your potential and feeling capable of achieving your goals. This can be a great asset, but it’s important to balance it with humility and recognize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
2. You have high expectations for yourself and others.
Being held to a higher standard as a child can lead to a tendency to set high expectations for yourself and those around you. You might strive for perfection in your work, relationships, and personal life. While this drive can be a powerful motivator, it’s important to be realistic and compassionate, both towards yourself and others, accepting that everyone makes mistakes and falls short sometimes.
3. You’re competitive and driven to succeed.
Golden children often grow up in an environment where achievement is highly valued. This can foster a competitive spirit and a strong desire to succeed. You might be ambitious, goal-oriented, and always striving to be the best. While this drive can lead to great accomplishments, it’s important to find a healthy balance and not let competition consume your life or relationships.
4. You have difficulty handling criticism.
If you rarely faced criticism or disappointment growing up, you might find it difficult to cope with these experiences as an adult, MindBodyGreen notes. You might take criticism personally, feel defensive, or even avoid situations where you might be judged. Learning to accept constructive feedback and view it as an opportunity for growth is an essential skill for personal and professional development.
5. You crave validation and approval from others.
Growing up with constant praise can create a strong need for external validation. You might seek approval from others in your personal and professional life, feeling insecure or anxious when you don’t receive it. Learning to validate yourself and find satisfaction in your own accomplishments is crucial for developing a healthy sense of self-esteem and independence.
6. You’re a natural leader and enjoy being in the spotlight.
Golden children often develop strong leadership skills and a natural charisma that draws people to them. You might be comfortable taking charge, delegating tasks, and inspiring others. This can be a great asset in your personal and professional life, but it’s important to be mindful of others’ feelings and perspectives and not let your leadership style become overbearing or domineering.
7. You have a tendency to be self-centered.
Growing up with a lot of attention and focus can sometimes lead to a self-centered perspective. You might be less aware of others’ needs and feelings, or you might unintentionally prioritize your own desires over theirs. Cultivating empathy and learning to see things from other people’s perspectives is an important part of building healthy and fulfilling relationships.
8. You have a fear of failure and disappointing others.
Being the golden child often comes with the pressure to always succeed and never disappoint. This can create a deep-seated fear of failure and a reluctance to take risks. Remember, everyone fails sometimes, and it’s okay to make mistakes. Embracing failure as a learning opportunity can help you overcome this fear and pursue your goals with more courage and resilience.
9. You struggle with vulnerability and asking for help.
As the golden child, you might have been expected to be self-sufficient and always have it all together. This can make it difficult to admit when you need help or to show vulnerability. Remember, it’s okay to ask for support and to lean on others when you’re struggling. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.
10. You have a tendency to be a people-pleaser.
Growing up with the desire to please your parents and maintain their approval can lead to a people-pleasing tendency. You might find it difficult to say no, even when it’s not in your best interest, or you might go out of your way to make others happy, even at the expense of your own needs. Learning to set healthy boundaries and prioritize your own well-being is essential for breaking free from this pattern.
11. You’re highly self-critical and strive for perfection.
As the golden child, you might have internalized the message that you need to be perfect to maintain your favored status. This can lead to relentless self-criticism and a constant striving for perfection. Remember, perfection is an unattainable goal, and it’s okay to make mistakes. Embrace your imperfections and focus on progress, not perfection.
12. You have difficulty forming close, intimate relationships.
The pressure to be perfect and maintain a certain image can make it difficult to form authentic and vulnerable connections with others. You might struggle to let people in or to share your true thoughts and feelings. Learning to trust others and allowing yourself to be seen for who you truly are is essential for building deep and meaningful relationships.
13. You might struggle with feelings of guilt and shame.
Being favored over your siblings can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, even if it wasn’t your fault. You might feel like you don’t deserve the special treatment you received or that you’ve somehow wronged your siblings. Recognizing and addressing these feelings is important for healing and moving forward.
14. You might have a difficult relationship with your siblings.
Favoritism can create resentment and strain sibling relationships. If you were the golden child, your siblings might harbor feelings of jealousy, anger, or hurt. It’s important to acknowledge their feelings and try to build bridges of understanding. Open communication and empathy can go a long way in healing these wounds and strengthening your bond.
15. You might feel pressure to live up to your parents’ expectations.
Even as an adult, you might still feel the pressure to meet your parents’ expectations and maintain their approval. This can lead to stress, anxiety, and a sense of never being good enough. Remember, you’re not responsible for your parents’ happiness or their dreams for you. You’re free to create your own path and live your life according to your own values and goals.
16. You might feel like you’re not allowed to have problems or make mistakes.
As the golden child, you might have been held to an unrealistic standard of perfection. This can make it difficult to admit when you’re struggling or to ask for help when you need it. Remember, everyone has problems and makes mistakes. It’s okay to not be okay, and it’s important to reach out for support when you need it.
17. You might have a fear of losing your “golden” status.
If your self-worth was tied to being the favored child, you might have a deep-seated fear of losing that status, Thriveworks explains. This can lead to anxiety, people-pleasing, and a constant need to prove yourself. Remember, your worth is not determined by your achievements or your parents’ approval. You’re worthy of love and respect simply for being you.
