We’ve all met that person who seems to light up a room, drawing others to them like moths to a flame. But what happens when this trait is wielded as a tool for manipulation? Let’s dive into 15 ways some people use their magnetic personalities to influence others, often for their own gain.
1. They charm you
This tactic involves showering someone with excessive flattery and compliments. By creating a feel-good atmosphere, manipulators make you more susceptible to their influence. It’s hard to say no to someone who seems to think so highly of you, right? But remember genuine compliments are one thing; if it feels like you’re being drowned in praise, it might be time to take a step back.
2. They mirror and match you
Have you ever noticed someone subtly copying your body language or speech patterns? This isn’t always manipulation, but when used deliberately, it can be. According to Simply Psychology, mirroring creates a subconscious sense of similarity and rapport, making you more likely to trust the person doing it. It’s a powerful tool because we naturally gravitate towards people who seem similar to us.
3. They use your name
If someone frequently uses your name in conversation, they might be trying to manipulate you. According to Science Direct, hearing our name activates brain regions linked to the self, making us feel more engaged and connected. While it can be a genuine play at building a nice rapport, overuse can signal an attempt to create a false sense of closeness.
4. They’re selectively vulnerable
You might think you know this person really well because they share lots of personal stories with you. But beware: many manipulators carefully select these stories to get you to share with them. By appearing to open up, they create a closeness (that isn’t real) that makes you feel special. You end up sharing more information than you probably would have because you felt the need to reciprocate their vulnerability.
5. They overwhelm you with information
Charming manipulators will often try to bog you down with information, jargon, or complex ideas delivered. The manipulator positions themselves as an expert, making you feel intellectually inferior or unprepared to challenge their views. They might rapid-fire facts and figures, leaving you little time to process or question. Their charm makes the steamrolling feel less aggressive, but the effect is the same–you’re left feeling like you have to defer to their “superior” knowledge.
6. They play up their emotions
Charismatic manipulators often radiate positive energy and excitement. Emotions are contagious, and their enthusiasm for whatever it may be can override your critical thinking. It’s hard to resist someone who seems so passionate and upbeat, even if part of you is skeptical about what they’re saying.
7. They inflate their perceived worth
By making their time or attention seem like a hot commodity, manipulators are able to make themselves feel more worthy. Humans tend to value things that are rare, including someone’s attention. So, if you find yourself constantly vying for someone’s attention, you should ask yourself if they’re creating that scarcity on purpose.
8. They reframe information
Charming people are really good at presenting information in a way that aligns with their agenda. By controlling the narrative, they can influence your perspective—often without you even realizing it. Pay attention to how they share with you and consider if there might be other ways to look at the situation.
9. They subtly increase their requests
Someone who’s super charming but using that to manipulate you will start with small requests before building up to larger ones. Once you’ve said yes to something small, you’re more likely to agree to bigger things to stay consistent. It’s a gradual process that can potentially cause you to agree to things you normally wouldn’t.
10. They guilt trip
Charismatic manipulators often make subtle comments that make you feel bad for not doing what they want or acting how they think you should act. By leveraging your emotions, they can manipulate you into doing what they want. If you find yourself constantly feeling guilty around someone, it might be worth examining the dynamics of that relationship.
11. They confidently state their point of view
Not only do they state things confidently, but they also claim that “everyone” agrees with their point of view. It’s a sneaky way of playing on the human desire to want to fit in and go with the crowd. But ultimately, this just makes you doubt your own opinions. Always remember that just because someone states something with confidence, doesn’t make it true.
12. They make you feel indebted
While you might think that getting favors or gifts randomly is just a gesture of kindness, it can also be a form of manipulation. Charming people know that humans often feel obligated to return favors—even ones we didn’t ask for in the first place. This creates a sense of indebtedness, making it easier for them to exploit you in the future.
13. They make everything seem exciting
Charismatic manipulators often create a sense of urgency or excitement around their ideas or projects. They might say things like, “Everyone’s talking about this!” or “You don’t want to miss out on this opportunity!” By tapping into your FOMO, they pressure you to join in without fully considering the consequences.
14. They try to bond with you
They might use phrases like “we’re in this together” or “people like us understand.” By making it seem like you have a deep bond, they make you feel like you’re on the same side, even when your interests might not align. It’s a subtle way of breaking down your defenses and making you more likely to go along with their suggestions.
15. They self-deprecate
Some manipulators will carefully use moments of humility to disarm you. By pointing out their own flaws or mistakes (usually minor ones), they appear more relatable and trustworthy. This false authenticity can make you let your guard down, making it easier for them to influence you later on. It’s like they’re saying, “See, I’m not perfect either,” while simultaneously positioning themselves as the solution to your problems.
This article was created by a human with the assistance of AI.
