Shame is not something anyone relishes, but it’s a necessary part of life. Without it, we would all run amok, and upholding other people’s boundaries would be a big issue. When someone has a healthy level of shame, they keep themselves in check and are considerate of the people around them. Here are several little habits of people who don’t seem to have any shame.
1. They constantly boast about all their success.
Not only do people with no shame boast about their achievements, but they do so even if credit is due elsewhere. They’ll accept credit whenever they can without worrying about how they’re coming across to other people. Someone like this might go on and on about their GPA in college or how they were the first of their class to get a job and a promotion. Even if other people contributed to their successes, they take all the credit.
2. They humblebrag.
As well as outwardly boasting about being great at certain things, someone with no shame will humblebrag, too. This is when someone pretends to be self-deprecating about something to bring attention to it so the person they’re conversing with takes an interest in it. For example, someone might stretch their arms up and say, “My arms are so sore from my workout yesterday, I think I overdid it,” while drawing attention to their muscles. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Time points out that this makes people dislike the person doing it, but that doesn’t seem to stop the shameless among us!
3. They play the victim.
People without shame aren’t afraid to play the victim when it suits them. On the one hand, they’re happy to remind you of how great they are, but when they have an agenda, they’ll be quick to talk about how hard done by they are. For example, someone might get a job interview and miss it because they got the date wrong. Instead of admitting their mistake, they play the victim, claiming that the interviewer gave them the incorrect date, which is why they missed it — it couldn’t possibly be their fault.
4. They like to start drama.
People who don’t have any shame are more than happy to stir the pot in a friend group and then sit back and watch the drama unfold. They love good gossip and will take any opportunity to say negative things about someone behind their back while being nice to their face. Someone like this might have a friend confide in them that they like someone in the group, only for this person to go and tell their crush, who’s already in a relationship.
5. They have always to be right.
When someone with no shame engages in an argument, their ultimate objective is to win it, not to hear the other person out and consider the other side of the coin. This is why they’ll do anything to win it, whether getting personal by throwing insults or refusing to believe the other person might be right. Someone like this might insist that their perspective is right and make the other person feel they’re not being fair by arguing with them.
6. They love being in control.
If you know someone with no shame, they most likely love having control of a situation. Whenever there’s a group project at work or you’re trying to organize something for your friend group, this person jumps in and takes over, deciding what happens for everybody. At work, they always put their hand up to be team leader, and when chosen, they’re quick to insist that the project is completed their way.
7. They frequently overstep boundaries.
When someone has no shame, they have difficulty respecting other people’s boundaries. They see boundaries as something to cross and a lot of the time; they end up hurting people. Someone like this might not know how to take “no” as the answer and keep trying despite the other person’s insistence. Perhaps the other person has said they’re not interested in dating, but the person with no shame won’t accept this and continues to bombard them over social media and text messages.
8. They’re stubborn.
When someone has no shame and has made up their mind about something, they rarely change it. Someone like this might have a bad attitude when something doesn’t go their way and refuse to try to have a good time instead. For example, they’ve gone camping with their friend group, and the weather has turned when the forecast said it would be sunny. Instead of making the most of it and finding activities to do inside the tent, they sit silently in the corner, giving everyone else the cold shoulder.
9. They’re petty.
When somebody has no shame, they aren’t afraid to get petty. They’ll find fault with the most trivial things and make a huge deal out of them. For example, someone might get annoyed when they ask their friend for a ride home, and their friend says they couldn’t because they were going the opposite way. Instead of getting over this quickly, they give their friend the silent treatment, refusing to text them back for a week.
10. They don’t stop talking.
If someone doesn’t know what shame is, there’s a good chance they don’t know how to read a room. When they’re in a social setting, they’re more than happy to talk about themselves without being polite and asking the person they’re talking to any questions about themselves or their lives. Even one-on-one, they dominate the conversation, not leaving room for the other person to speak. When they get a chance to talk, they interrupt or get distracted by something else in the room.
11. They’re impulsive.
People with no shame often make rash decisions and regret them later. They don’t take the time to process a decision and weigh the pros and cons — they take action. Someone like this might go out for a drink on Friday night after work with colleagues and spend all their money on drinks at the bar. This means they have to stay home the rest of the weekend and eat what’s in the cupboard while waiting for their next paycheck.
12. They have no filter.
Have you ever been around someone who has no filter? They say what’s on their mind and don’t care who has a problem with it. They don’t consider other people’s feelings when sharing their thoughts. Someone like this might tell you that you’re not likely to get that promotion at work, even though all your other friends are encouraging you, saying you’re the best one for the job.
13. They live for the moment.
When someone has no shame, they don’t put a lot of thought into the future. Their primary goal is to have fun in the now and worry about what’s coming when it comes. Someone like this might plan a work night out at the driving range, then encourage everyone to go out for a drink afterward. They’re not worried about turning up to work in the morning hungover; they’re just focused on having a good night.
14. They’re quick to dismiss people.
If you know someone who has no shame, they might be all or nothing regarding friendships. When they’re friends with someone, and they respect them, they’ll do anything for them. However, if that person lets them down or something comes between them, they quickly dismiss and cut them off. Someone like this might be unwilling to forgive a friend who, for example, sold them a car that ended up breaking down three months in. They haven’t talked to them since and avoid the subject when asked.
15. They always have to prove themselves.
Typically, people without shame will walk around like they’ve got something to prove. When they go to the water park with their family in the summer, they have to prove that they’re the strongest swimmer out of everyone by swimming the most lengths. They make everything a competition and act the sore loser when things don’t go their way.
