Ever catch yourself saying or doing something and think, “Whoa, I sound just like my mom/dad!”? We’re not just talking about inheriting their eye color or knack for puns. Some of our deepest-rooted habits, both good and bad, can be traced back to our upbringing. Here are some things you likely picked up from the people who raised you.
1. You avoid expressing your true opinions.
Maybe you keep quiet instead of disagreeing with someone in a meeting. Or you nod along with a friend’s opinion even if you don’t genuinely feel the same way. While a little diplomacy is important, constantly censoring your true thoughts might be a sign you’re afraid of being judged or disliked if people knew what you really believed.
2. You struggle to set boundaries.
Do you find it hard to say “no” or feel guilty when you do? Perhaps you overextend yourself to please other people, even at your own expense. According to Psychology Today, this could be a learned behavior from growing up in an environment where your needs weren’t prioritized or where saying “no” was met with disapproval.
3. You’re overly critical of yourself.
If you constantly beat yourself up over small mistakes or feel like you’re never good enough, this might stem from having critical parents. Growing up with constant criticism can internalize a harsh inner voice that continues to judge and belittle you even as an adult.
4. You have difficulty asking for help.
Do you try to handle everything on your own, even when you’re struggling? This could be a result of learning to be self-reliant from a young age. Maybe your parents were too busy or unavailable to help, or perhaps they instilled the belief that asking for help is a sign of weakness.
5. You have a tendency to avoid conflict.
If you go to great lengths to avoid disagreements or keep the peace at all costs, this might be a pattern inherited from your parents. Growing up in a household where conflict was frequent or explosive can lead to a deep-seated fear of confrontation and a desire to avoid rocking the boat.
6. You struggle with perfectionism.
Do you feel like everything you do has to be perfect? This could be a result of growing up with high expectations or a parent who was never satisfied. While striving for excellence is admirable, perfectionism can be paralyzing and lead to burnout.
7. You have difficulty managing your emotions.
If you find it hard to express your feelings or tend to suppress them, this could be a learned behavior from your upbringing. Perhaps your parents weren’t emotionally expressive or discouraged you from showing vulnerability. This can make it difficult to navigate relationships and cope with stress.
8. You have trouble letting go of the past.
Do you dwell on past mistakes or hold grudges? This might stem from growing up in an environment where unresolved conflicts were the norm or where forgiveness wasn’t readily offered. Holding on to resentment can prevent you from moving forward and enjoying the present.
9. You have a pessimistic outlook on life.
If you tend to expect the worst or focus on the negative aspects of situations, this might be a learned behavior from your parents. Growing up in an environment where pessimism was prevalent can shape your worldview and make it difficult to see the positive side of things.
10. You have a fear of failure.
Do you shy away from taking risks or trying new things because you’re afraid of not succeeding? This fear might stem from having parents who were overly critical of your mistakes or emphasized the importance of winning above all else. This can hold you back from reaching your full potential and exploring new opportunities.
11. You’re prone to procrastination.
If you often put things off until the last minute or struggle with time management, this could be a habit you picked up from your parents. Growing up in a household where procrastination was common can make it difficult to develop good organizational skills and prioritize tasks effectively.
12. You have unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Do you turn to food, alcohol, or other substances to cope with stress or difficult emotions? This could be a learned behavior from your parents. If you witnessed your parents using unhealthy coping mechanisms, you might unconsciously adopt them as your own way of dealing with challenges.
13. You have difficulty making decisions.
If you struggle with indecisiveness or second-guess yourself constantly, this might be a habit you inherited from your parents. Growing up in a household where decisions were made for you or where you were criticized for your choices can make it difficult to trust your own judgment and take ownership of your decisions, Verywell Mind explains.
14. You’re a people pleaser.
Do you prioritize other people’s needs and wants over your own? This could be a result of growing up in a household where you were rewarded for being agreeable and accommodating. While being considerate is a positive trait, excessive people-pleasing can lead to resentment and a lack of self-care.
15. You have a negative body image.
If you struggle with body dissatisfaction or have a critical view of your appearance, this might stem from having parents who were overly focused on looks or made negative comments about their own bodies. Growing up in such an environment can lead to internalizing unrealistic beauty standards and feeling inadequate.
16. You struggle with financial responsibility.
Do you have a tendency to overspend or struggle with saving money? This could be a learned behavior from your parents. If you grew up in a household where money was a constant source of stress or where impulsive spending was the norm, you might have difficulty developing healthy financial habits.
