In the depths of heartbreak, someone’s kind or inspiring words can help you see the light. Sometimes, all it takes is a single sentence that feels genuine and helpful to make you see that you’re going to be okay. Whether you or your friend’s going through a rough breakup, here are 15 phrases to glue the pieces of a broken heart back together.
1. “Your feelings are valid.”
When someone’s feeling tearful and overwhelmed, the last thing they need is for someone to tell them to calm down or snap out of it. That’s so harsh! As Psychology Today points out, emotional validation can make a world of difference to how someone is feeling. If you don’t know what to say to someone who’s depressed and listening to Adele on repeat instead of going to work, telling them that their feelings are valid can be enough to help them feel better. Sometimes all someone needs is to feel heard and be seen, especially if the breakup has caused them to feel isolated.
2. “You’re stronger than you know.”
It’s easy to forget just how powerful you are when things go wrong, like when the person you thought was yours forever walks out on you and leaves you heartbroken. There’s no doubt that a bad breakup can break one down and make them feel vulnerable and weak, so reminding them that they’re stronger than they realize can give them some perspective on the situation. It can also help them to think about previous times when they got through dark days, which will motivate them to move through this breakup.
3. “You deserve better.”
Heartbreak can dent a person’s self-esteem, making them think that their partner left them because they’re not good enough. Of course this is BS, but it’s easy to believe it when you’re down and out. So, telling someone who’s heartbroken that they deserve better treatment than what their toxic ex was giving them can help them to see the situation with new eyes. It can encourage them to stop being so brainwashed by their strong feelings for the person that are leading them astray.
4. “Healing takes time.”
There’s no time limit you can put on heartbreak. Some people might get over a breakup within a few days or weeks, while others could take months or years. Since there’s no specific time period in which to grieve or heal, this statement works well because it’s a gentle reminder that the person shouldn’t be too hard on themselves. It reassures them that there’s nothing wrong with them for feeling so strongly about the breakup. They’re supposed to feel a rollercoaster of emotions!
5. “You’re not alone.”
When someone experiences a traumatic breakup, they might feel like no one really understands what they’re going through. Telling them that they’re not alone is usually enough to let them feel that they’re being emotionally supported. It’s an empathetic statement that lets them know you’re there if they need to vent about their feelings. In addition, it can gently encourage them to seek meaningful connections with other people who care about them, which will help them to feel less isolated.
6. “Your worth doesn’t depend on your relationship.”
Losing the person one loves can be earth-shattering, especially if the relationship with them was long term. Heartbroken people might feel like they don’t even know who they are without the person they’ve lost. They might lose sight of what they want from life, so reminding them that they’re worth a lot more than a failed relationship can motivate them to focus on themselves during the healing process. It might also encourage them to indulge in self-care to help themselves move out of the darkness.
7. “What lessons did you learn?”
Instead of getting stuck in the experience of pain and suffering, it’s healthy for someone to focus on what they’ve learned about themselves from the relationship. Telling someone who’s heartbroken to think about this can help to shift their focus onto more positive things. It motivates them to see how they can improve or grow from the experience, instead of wallowing in their heartbreak and despair.
8. “Many people have gone through this.”
It’s easy for someone who’s heartbroken to feel like they’re the only person in the world who has ever felt such pain. Reminding them that many people have experienced exactly what they’re going through and survived it can help them to feel like they, too, can triumph! This statement can also help them to focus on what steps they can take to heal themselves so they don’t remain stuck in the past.
9. “One day at a time.”
Focusing on, and being terrified of, the future is common during heartbreak. The person might feel like they’re not sure how to navigate their life after a bad breakup. Telling them to take things one day at a time encourages them to be patient with themselves and focus on the present day instead of getting overwhelmed about the future. This has a grounding effect, preventing the person from feeling stressed or anxious.
10. “Only you create your happiness.”
It’s not always easy to feel positive about life during heartbreak. Instead of telling someone who’s going through a rough breakup to be optimistic, which can backfire, it can be more helpful to tell them something like, “Only you create your happiness.” It’s a way to gently remind the person that they’re the only one who’s responsible for what they choose to make of their life and how they choose to feel, which is empowering and inspiring.
11. “Don’t blame yourself — you did the best you could.”
If the person is going through a difficult time of beating themselves up for everything that went wrong in their relationship, they can get stuck in all that drama and pain. It’s not constructive for their growth, Psychology Today points out. Telling them something like, “Don’t blame yourself — you did the best you could” can help them to be kinder to themselves. It also forces them to take a more balanced view of the relationship that encourages them to heal and move on.
12. “If you want to text your ex, text me instead.”
During heartbreak, it’s easy to view one’s previous relationship with rose-tinted glasses. This could cause someone to want to reach out to their ex during an emotionally painful moment. But this can be a bad move, leading to further rejection and pain. To help someone who’s heartbroken, consider telling them to text you if they want to contact their ex. This shows them that you’re there to support them and prevent them from doing something they’ll later regret.
13. “Let’s go hiking this weekend.”
Sometimes, the best way to help someone heal during a breakup is to distract them by inviting them out to do something fun. Whether it’s horse riding, hiking, or arts and crafts, the person will feel a boost of confidence by trying something out of their comfort zone. Having positive experiences after a breakup is important, as it helps them to heal by showing them that the world is filled with exciting opportunities.
14. “I wanted to check in.”
A simple text to show the person you care about them and you’re thinking of them can help them in a big way. Telling them something like, “I wanted to check in” is a non-invasive way to encourage the person to express their feelings instead of bottling them up. It’s also a way of reminding the person that you’re there for them whenever they need to confide in someone.
15. “You’re so much better off.”
It’s always good to remind the person why their life will be better without their ex in it, but the key to making this helpful for them is to give them specific reasons why. This prevents the statement from coming across as generic. So, go ahead and list some reasons why they’re going to be happier, such as that they don’t have to deal with their ex’s drama anymore or that they can focus on their needs instead of putting themselves on the back burner. By focusing on what they stand to gain from the breakup, you can help them to heal.
