We all have regrets, big or small, and sometimes, it’s hard not to show it. Some people can keep it inside and compartmentalize their regrets, processing them behind closed doors, and others find them spilling out in conversation with others. Men who regret their life decisions will behave in specific ways. Let’s look at several signs of men regretting life decisions.
1. They criticize themselves regularly.
If a man regrets life decisions he’s made, whether recently or in the past, he’ll most likely be super self-critical. Whenever he makes a mistake, even if it’s as minor as forgetting to put the trash out at the end of the week, he’ll be hard on himself. He’ll call himself an idiot and bring up the mistake multiple times daily.
2. They avoid specific topics.
Men who don’t like how they’ve handled some pretty big life decisions will naturally not want to talk about certain things. Say, for example, a man regrets how he dealt with a past relationship—how they argued, how he approached the issues he was having, and ultimately, how he chose to break up with his partner. As a result, he avoids talking about his ex with his new partner, even when they bring it up.
3. They find decision-making tough.
If you know a man who has regrets about big decisions, then there’s a good chance that he’s also known as being indecisive. Whether he’s faced with a minor decision or a major one, he finds it hard to make up his mind. He might spend half the evening deciding which show to watch or go back and forth between two vacation options to the point where all the flights are full.
4. They show antipathy for the future.
According to the APA, antipathy is a strong dislike. Men who don’t love how they’ve handled big life decisions in the past will be negative and cynical about the future. If your partner is like this, then perhaps you’ve tried to talk to him about when you plan on moving in together or when it might be time to get a pet. But whenever you bring it up, he gets annoyed, shrugs, walks away, or changes the subject.
5. They’re jealous of others.
If a man is bitter about decisions he’s made in the past, then he will show that bitterness towards others. When a colleague at work gets a promotion, instead of being encouraging and supportive, he’ll be passive-aggressive, commenting that “someone else should’ve got the position.”
6. They play the victim.
When someone regrets their life decisions, it usually goes one of two ways: they either blame themselves or find someone else to blame. Instead of looking inwards, he looks outwards. Perhaps he’s always going on about how his ex was the reason they broke up when other sources say that it was him who was the catalyst for everything.
7. They try to escape their past.
Another behavior that indicates a man doesn’t like how he handled things in the past is escapism. He might try to block out the feelings of shame and embarrassment associated with his past mistakes through activities like gambling, drinking, or social media addiction. Every Friday and Saturday night, you can find him at the local bar, and most evenings, if he’s not binge-watching his favorite TV show, he’s glued to his phone, scrolling through social media. Anything to not be confronted with the past.
8. They constantly seek reassurance.
Because he’ll have so much self-doubt stored up, a man who regrets his past behaviors will often seek validation from outside sources. Perhaps your partner is like this—whenever he makes a decision, he brings it up multiple times in different conversations, asking you to reassure him that he made the right choice. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
9. They change jobs a lot.
If someone is still haunted by their past mistakes, then they might try to deal with them by running away now. For example, a man might change his job frequently, especially if many of his past mistakes relate to work. Perhaps he’s impulsively applied for several jobs over the years, only to get the position, last six months, and then hand his notice in because he found something better.
10. They feel stuck.
Men who feel like they haven’t done well with past decisions might feel stuck in the present, unable to move on. Even if their life is now stable, they can’t move on from what’s happened. For example, he may be doing really great financially but he beats himself up about not investing in that one stock. Instead of taking it on the chin and finding new stocks, he keeps going back to the “what if?” of it all.
11. They might be emotionally withdrawn.
When someone regrets something they did in the past, they might not trust their emotions. This could be why they’re afraid to show them or why they shut down when asked to engage in a difficult conversation. It’s not that he isn’t capable of having this conversation, it’s just that he’s so stuck in his past mistake that it’s really difficult for him to participate.
12. They’ll try to overcompensate in other areas.
If a man has big regrets to make up for, he might skew the balance to achieve this. For example, perhaps in the past few years, he’s been devoting too much time to work (which according to Psychology Today, is one of the most common regrets) and eschewing his family responsibilities. His partner has brought this up to him recently, and the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction. These days, he barely does any work, and while he’s around for the family, the financial strain is too much.
13. They’re impatient.
When a man makes a mistake that he regrets, one of the ways in which he might respond is to move on from it as quickly as possible. However, life might dictate otherwise. For example, if he’s just had to throw the towel in on a failed business venture, he might be eager to start another one as soon as possible to make up for it, even if it’s not the most financially sound decision. He wants to move as far away from the failure as he can.
14. They start to lose passion in their interests.
When a man has regrets, these inevitably lead to other aspects of his life being tainted. For example, he could be an aspiring musician who managed to get signed to a label at one point, but the contract was shady, and he had to involve lawyers to get out of it. Now, he won’t pick up the guitar and play, even though this is his biggest passion in life.
15. They’re a lot quieter now.
Your man used to be outgoing, confident, charismatic, and charming, but since he’s been through a couple of big life decisions that he regrets dearly, his personality has taken a hit. When you’re in social situations together, he’ll put on a fake smile. But that lasts only a little while before he loses steam and wants to go home.
