We all know that one person who seems a little too… particular about things. Maybe they’re always right, their way is the only way, and they have an uncanny ability to make you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells. While not everyone who exhibits these tendencies is a full-blown control freak, these behaviors might indicate a hidden desire to control situations and people. So, how can you spot these subtle signs? Let’s explore some telltale behaviors that might reveal a closet control freak.
1. They constantly correct and criticize people.
It’s one thing to offer constructive feedback, but closet control freaks take it to a whole new level. They nitpick at every little detail, constantly pointing out flaws and mistakes, making other people feel inadequate and insecure. Whether it’s your grammar, your outfit, or your life choices, they always seem to have an opinion and aren’t afraid to share it, even if it’s unsolicited.
2. They have a hard time delegating tasks.
Control freaks often believe they’re the only ones capable of doing things “right.” They struggle to let go of the reins and trust people to handle tasks, even simple ones. They micromanage every step, offering unsolicited advice and instructions, making it difficult for other people to contribute or feel a sense of ownership.
3. They always need to be in charge.
Whether it’s a group project, a social gathering, or even a casual conversation, closet control freaks always want to be the leader. They dominate discussions, interrupt people, and steer the conversation towards their own interests. They struggle to take a backseat or let other people have a turn, as they feel the need to control the narrative and outcome.
4. They get overly anxious when things don’t go according to plan.
Control freaks thrive on predictability and order. When unexpected changes or disruptions occur, they become visibly anxious and stressed. They may try to force things back on track, even if it means inconveniencing everyone or sacrificing flexibility. Their need for control often stems from a fear of the unknown and a desire to avoid any surprises.
5. They struggle to accept different perspectives.
Control freaks often believe their way is the only “right” way. They have a hard time acknowledging or respecting differing viewpoints, dismissing them as wrong or irrelevant. They may engage in heated arguments, trying to convince people of their own “superior” perspective, even if it means damaging relationships or creating conflict.
6. They have a strong need for approval and validation.
Beneath their confident exterior, closet control freaks often crave external validation, per Psych Central. They seek constant reassurance and approval from other people, fishing for compliments and affirmation. They may become overly sensitive to criticism or rejection, taking it as a personal attack on their competence and self-worth.
7. They guilt-trip and manipulate people to get their way.
When direct control tactics fail, closet control freaks often resort to more subtle forms of manipulation. They may use guilt trips, emotional blackmail, or passive-aggressive behavior to subtly influence people and get what they want. They may play the victim, exaggerate their own needs, or make other people feel obligated to comply with their wishes.
8. They have difficulty letting go of past mistakes or perceived wrongs.
Control freaks often dwell on past mistakes or grievances, holding onto resentment and refusing to forgive. They may bring up old issues repeatedly, using them as ammunition in arguments or as a way to manipulate people. Their inability to let go of the past stems from a desire to maintain control over the narrative and avoid any perceived vulnerabilities.
9. They offer backhanded compliments or passive-aggressive remarks.
Closet control freaks often struggle with expressing genuine emotions, especially positive ones. Their compliments may come with a sting, disguised as jokes or observations that undermine the recipient’s confidence. They may use passive-aggressive comments to express disapproval or dissatisfaction without directly confronting the issue.
10. They have rigid routines and rituals they insist other people follow.
Control freaks thrive on structure and predictability. They often have strict routines and rituals they adhere to religiously, and they expect everyone to follow suit. They may become irritable or upset if their schedule is disrupted or if people don’t conform to their expectations. Their need for control extends to even the smallest details of daily life.
11. They’re overly possessive of their belongings and personal space.
Control freaks often have a strong attachment to their possessions and personal space. They may become anxious or upset if other people touch their belongings without permission or if their personal space is invaded. They may also have difficulty sharing or lending their possessions, as they feel a need to maintain control over their environment.
12. They have difficulty accepting help or admitting they need it.
Control freaks often view asking for help as a sign of weakness or incompetence. They may struggle to admit they need assistance, even when it’s clear they’re overwhelmed or struggling. They may try to handle everything themselves, even if it means sacrificing their well-being or neglecting other important aspects of their lives.
13. They have a tendency to blame other people for their own shortcomings or mistakes.
Control freaks often struggle with taking responsibility for their own actions. When things go wrong, they may deflect blame onto other people, external circumstances, or even bad luck. They may also try to minimize their own role in the situation, focusing on everyone else’s actions or shortcomings instead of acknowledging their own contributions to the problem.
14. They often use “should” or “must” statements when talking to other people.
Control freaks often have a rigid view of how things “should” be done. They may use “should” or “must” statements when talking to other people, implying that their way is the only correct or acceptable way. This can come across as judgmental and controlling, making people feel like they’re constantly being evaluated and criticized.
15. They have difficulty relaxing and letting go of control.
Control freaks often struggle to unwind and enjoy the present moment, Healthline notes. They may constantly worry about the future, ruminate on the past, or obsess over details. They may find it difficult to engage in activities that require letting go of control, such as meditation, creative pursuits, or spontaneous adventures.
16. They may exhibit controlling behavior in romantic relationships.
In romantic relationships, control freaks may try to dictate their partner’s behavior, choices, or even appearance. They may become jealous or possessive, constantly checking in on their partner’s whereabouts or monitoring their social media activity. They may also try to isolate their partner from friends and family, creating a dynamic of dependence and control.
