We’ve all encountered them – those people who seem to be the main character in their own personal drama, oblivious to anyone else’s needs or feelings. Their self-absorption can be incredibly frustrating and even hurtful to those around them. Here are some of the classic behaviors of self-absorbed people that tend to rub everyone the wrong way.
1. They constantly make everything about themselves.
Whether you’re sharing exciting news or venting about a tough day, self-absorbed people have a knack for turning the conversation back to themselves, Verywell Mind notes. They might interrupt you with their own, seemingly more important story, or offer unsolicited advice based on their own experiences, completely disregarding your unique situation.
2. They have a one-sided view of relationships.
Self-absorbed people often see relationships as a means to an end – a way to get their own needs met. They may expect constant attention and validation, but rarely reciprocate with genuine interest or support for the other person. This can leave their friends and loved ones feeling drained and unappreciated.
3. They lack empathy and compassion.
One of the most frustrating aspects of dealing with self-absorbed people is their seeming inability to understand or care about how their actions affect other people. They might make insensitive comments, dismiss your feelings, or simply not notice when you’re struggling. This lack of empathy can create a significant emotional distance in relationships.
4. They’re overly competitive and always need to be “the best.”
Self-absorbed people often have an insatiable need to prove their superiority. They might brag about their achievements, put people down to make themselves look better, or constantly try to one-up you in conversations. This competitive nature can be exhausting and create an uncomfortable atmosphere, especially in social settings.
5. They’re experts at playing the victim.
Even when they’re clearly in the wrong, self-absorbed people have a talent for twisting situations to make themselves look like the victim. They might blame other people for their problems, exaggerate their own suffering, or refuse to take responsibility for their actions. This behavior can be incredibly frustrating and make it difficult to have productive conversations or resolve conflicts.
6. They need constant attention and validation.
Whether it’s through social media posts, dramatic stories, or attention-grabbing behavior, self-absorbed people crave the spotlight. They might fish for compliments, post selfies excessively, or even manufacture drama to get people to focus on them. This constant need for attention can be draining and make it difficult to have meaningful interactions.
7. They have difficulty handling criticism.
Self-absorbed people often have a fragile ego that can’t handle any kind of critique. Even constructive feedback might be interpreted as a personal attack, leading to defensiveness, anger, or even retaliation. This makes it challenging to offer them honest feedback or have healthy disagreements.
8. They’re masters of manipulation.
To get what they want, self-absorbed people often resort to manipulation tactics. They might guilt-trip you, play on your emotions, or use subtle threats to get you to comply with their demands. This can leave you feeling used and manipulated, eroding trust in the relationship.
9. They have a distorted sense of entitlement.
Self-absorbed people often believe they deserve special treatment or that the rules don’t apply to them. They might expect everyone to cater to their whims, cut in line, or take advantage of situations without considering the impact on other people. This sense of entitlement can be frustrating and even infuriating to those around them.
10. They lack genuine interest in anyone but themselves.
Conversations with self-absorbed people can feel like one-way streets. They might ask perfunctory questions but rarely listen to the answers. Their focus quickly shifts back to themselves, their opinions, and their experiences. This lack of genuine interest in other people can make them seem shallow and self-centered.
11. They’re constantly comparing themselves to everyone around them.
Self-absorbed people are often preoccupied with how they measure up to other people. They might feel jealous of those who seem to have more success, better looks, or more possessions. As Forbes points out, this constant comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, resentment, and even depression. It can also make them seem insecure and petty to those around them.
12. They’re obsessed with their appearance.
While taking care of your appearance is perfectly normal, self-absorbed people often take it to the extreme. They might spend hours getting ready, obsess over their flaws, and constantly seek validation for their looks. This preoccupation with appearance can make them seem shallow and vain.
13. They have a hard time apologizing or admitting when they’re wrong.
Self-absorbed people often have a hard time taking responsibility for their mistakes. They might make excuses, shift blame, or simply refuse to acknowledge any wrongdoing. This can damage relationships and make it difficult to resolve conflicts in a healthy way.
14. They often break promises and commitments.
Whether it’s canceling plans at the last minute, not following through on commitments, or simply not showing up when they say they will, self-absorbed people can be unreliable. They prioritize their own needs and desires, often at the expense of other people, which can destroy trust and damage relationships.
15. They’re experts at gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where someone makes you doubt your own sanity or perception of reality. Self-absorbed people might use this tactic to avoid accountability, deflect blame, or maintain control in a relationship. This can be extremely damaging to your self-esteem and emotional well-being.
16. They’re emotionally draining to be around.
After spending time with a self-absorbed person, you might feel exhausted, frustrated, and emotionally drained. Their constant need for attention, lack of empathy, and manipulative behavior can take a toll on your energy and well-being. It’s important to set boundaries and prioritize your own needs when dealing with people like this.
