Ever wondered if someone you know might be a narcissist? While we might not be qualified therapists, we’ve all encountered those folks who seem a little too self-absorbed. You know the type—everything’s about them, and they always need to be the center of attention. But sometimes, it takes specific situations to truly reveal their narcissistic tendencies. Here are some unexpected moments that can expose a narcissist’s true colors.
1. When they don’t get their way
Narcissists thrive on control and having things go their way, WebMD points out. So, when faced with a situation where they can’t dictate the outcome, their true colors start to show. They might throw a tantrum, become passive-aggressive, or even try to manipulate the situation to regain control. This lack of flexibility and inability to compromise is a classic narcissistic trait.
2. When someone else is in the spotlight
Narcissists crave attention and recognition, so when someone else is receiving praise or admiration, they often become envious and resentful. They might try to downplay the other person’s accomplishments, make snide remarks, or even try to steal the spotlight for themselves. Their need to be the center of attention overrides their ability to genuinely be happy for other people’s success.
3. When they’re called out on their behavior
Narcissists rarely take responsibility for their actions or admit when they’re wrong. So, when someone confronts them about their behavior, they tend to become defensive and deflect blame. They might try to gaslight the person, turn the tables, or even launch a personal attack. Their inability to acknowledge their flaws and apologize is a telltale sign of their narcissistic personality.
4. When they’re not the best at something
Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they’re better than everyone else. So, when they encounter a situation where they’re not the most skilled or knowledgeable person, it can trigger their insecurities. They might try to undermine the person who is better than them, make excuses for their own shortcomings, or even avoid the situation altogether to protect their fragile ego.
5. When they’re asked to do something for someone else
Narcissists are inherently self-centered and prioritize their own needs and desires above other people’s. So, when they’re asked to help someone else or put someone else’s needs first, they might become resentful or even refuse outright. They see themselves as entitled to special treatment and expect everyone to cater to their whims, rather than the other way around.
6. When they’re faced with criticism
Narcissists have a fragile ego and are extremely sensitive to criticism, even if it’s constructive. They often take it as a personal attack and react with anger, defensiveness, or even retaliation. They might try to discredit the person who is criticizing them, launch a smear campaign, or even cut them out of their life entirely. Their inability to accept feedback and learn from their mistakes is a hallmark of their narcissistic personality.
7. When they’re in a position of power
Narcissists thrive on power and control, and when they’re given authority over people, their true colors can become even more apparent. They might become more demanding, dismissive of other people’s opinions, and even exploit their position for personal gain. They enjoy the feeling of being in charge and tend to abuse their power to manipulate and control those around them.
8. When they’re feeling insecure
While narcissists usually project an image of confidence and self-assurance, they’re actually deeply insecure. When their insecurities are triggered, their true colors can emerge. They might become more critical of people, belittle their accomplishments, or even try to sabotage their success. Their need to feel superior to everyone is driven by their underlying fear of inadequacy and worthlessness.
9. When they experience a setback or failure
Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-worth and believe they’re immune to failure. So, when they encounter a setback or experience a loss, it can shatter their illusion of invincibility. They might react with anger, blame people for their misfortune, or even try to deny the reality of the situation. Their inability to cope with failure and learn from their mistakes is a clear sign of their narcissistic tendencies.
10. When they’re in a romantic relationship
Narcissists usually struggle in romantic relationships due to their self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and need for control. They might try to manipulate their partner, belittle their accomplishments, or even engage in infidelity. They expect their partner to cater to their every whim and demand constant admiration and validation. Their inability to form genuine connections and prioritize their partner’s needs can lead to toxic and dysfunctional relationships.
11. When they’re given feedback or advice
Narcissists rarely see the value in feedback or advice, even if it’s well-intentioned. They believe they know best and are resistant to any suggestions that challenge their viewpoint or threaten their ego. They might dismiss the feedback outright, become defensive, or even try to discredit the person who is offering it. Their unwillingness to learn and grow from other people’s insights is a hallmark of their narcissistic personality.
12. When they’re caught in a lie
Narcissists regularly lie to maintain their image, manipulate people, or avoid taking responsibility for their actions, Psych Central notes. When they’re caught in a lie, they might try to deny it, deflect blame, or even gaslight the person who confronted them. They rarely apologize or admit wrongdoing, as it would threaten their carefully constructed facade of perfection.
13. When they’re not the center of attention in a group setting
Narcissists thrive on being the center of attention and love to dominate conversations, interrupt people, and steer the topic back to themselves. When they’re not the focus of attention, they might become bored, restless, or even disruptive. They might try to regain the spotlight by telling stories, making jokes, or even creating drama.
14. When they’re asked to show vulnerability or express emotions
Narcissists struggle with vulnerability and expressing their true emotions, as they see it as a sign of weakness. They might try to suppress their feelings, project them onto other people, or even turn them into anger or aggression. Their inability to connect with people on an emotional level can make it difficult to form deep and meaningful relationships.
15. When they’re confronted with their own mortality
Narcissists tend to have a fear of death and aging, as it challenges their belief in their own immortality and specialness. When confronted with their own mortality, they might become more self-absorbed, cling to their youth, or even engage in risky behaviors to feel alive. Their fear of death can also lead to a heightened sense of entitlement and a desperate need to leave a lasting legacy.
