We talk about people with lots of friends, a loving family, a rewarding job, and fulfilling hobbies as having rich lives. Though they may have a modest income, we consider them to be rich in other ways like love, meaning, and happiness. On the flip side, of course, is a person who is poor in these aspects of life. We take pity on them even if they have a lot of money because happiness comes from more than status and lots of stuff. So, here’s a list of things that make you”poor” but have nothing to do with money.
1. Dismissing the Small Joys
As cliché as the saying “stop and smell the roses” is, it’s important to remember what it actually means: take the time to enjoy the small things. Sure, you probably get to see either the sunrise or the sunset every day, and the flowers always seem to be blooming in the garden across from your office. But if you don’t take the time to pause and really see nature’s beauty or appreciate the little things every day, you are living a life poor in gratitude.
2. Not having Deep Friendships
Anyone who has shared a meaningful moment confessing some deep secret or coming to a realization with a friend will agree that those types of friendships are invaluable. Neuroscientists have proven time and again that we are social creatures who are meant to find physical and emotional comfort from each other, so much so that those of us who have more friends live longer. People who don’t have vulnerable friendships are lacking a valuable resource to enrich and lengthen their lives.
3. Avoiding New Experiences
It’s okay to avoid dangerous activities like sky-diving and base jumping, but life is meant for living. Traveling to new places, eating new foods, and meeting new people are all great ways to enjoy and enhance your life. If you actively avoid new experiences, you’re missing out on all life has to offer.
4. Lacking Moral Guidance
Many people find happiness in going to church or privately practicing religion, while others find a moral guide in a close circle of friends or the study of philosophy. The contemplation and adoption of moral principles enriches appreciation of and for life. You can either be told how to behave or you can choose how you want to live your life. Those who shy away from any kind of moral guidance are rejecting the opportunity to live their life intentionally.
5. Not Making Time for Nature
Studies have shown that time spent in nature benefits us physiologically and psychologically, including better cognitive function and improved mental health. We were meant to be in nature because we are a part of it. Though modern life keeps us indoors a decent amount of the time, it’s important to make time to be outside. If you aren’t intentionally going to parks, taking a hike, or boating on the lake regularly, your emotional bank account is probably low.
6. Hyperfocusing on Work
Most modern jobs are designed to consume much of your time and mental bandwidth. And many modern workers are more than willing to give it. The downside, of course, is that this leaves you burnt out and with little left over to give to family, friends, and leisure activities. If you’re not making daily efforts to maintain a healthy balance between work and the rest of your life, you’re probably overdrawing on your physical and mental reserves.
7. Not Actively Learning
After graduating from high school or college, many of us swear off textbooks and Socratic dialogues forever. But that’s when learning finally becomes fun. Your coworker drags you on a camping trip and teaches you some survival skills, and then you find yourself researching mushrooms and signing up for a weekend survival course. Continued learning is the spice of life. People who don’t find subjects that pique their interest to learn more have missed opportunities to diversify their mental portfolios.
8. Never feeling Satisfied
There’s nothing wrong with having a drive to get a better job, find a long-term relationship, more fulfilling leisure activities, or whatever else you think will make your life more enjoyable. But when your job never pays enough, your partners can never meet your standards, and you can’t settle on an activity to improve at, chances are that you aren’t happy either. Don’t sell yourself short by constantly moving the goalposts of your desires or you will never find yourself living a rich life, no matter how much money you have.
9. Having a glass-half-empty Mindset
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” We can’t change natural disasters, the death of a loved one, or countless other unfortunate events that affect our lives negatively, but we can change how we think about them. If you wallow in the sadness and pain of a bad thing, you are going to get stuck there. Having a glass-half-full mindset doesn’t mean that you stop yourself from feeling sad, it means that you also try to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s always there, you just have to learn how to see it.
10. Not following Enriching Social Media accounts
Not all social media is a worthless time-sink. There are a lot of uplifting, meaningful things being shared on social media. However, you have to intentionally sift through ads pretending to be content, meaningless compilation videos, and harmfully negative news to find content that teaches, makes you feel happy and safe, or shares news critically. You’re doing yourself a disservice if you’re not sifting through the garbage for more meaningful content.
11. Not having a Sense of Community
Some people find fulfillment in participating in local politics or going to local fairs and festivals. Others cultivate groups of friends who play video games or do trivia nights together. However you find it, community is important. People who don’t try to form or find a community lack the sense of safety and belonging that being part of a group brings.
12. Valuing Things Over People
Not many people would admit to loving their car more than their girlfriend, but if they struggle to prioritize her needs over that of the car, they need to re-evaluate their values. Objects can fulfill important roles in our lives, but they will never be a substitute for the connection of other human beings. Even our phones and computers are facilitators of human connection, but when you love the technology more than the people the technology allows you to connect with, you have lost sight of its original purpose.
13. All-Consuming Lifestyle Goals
Very few of us land in our ideal living situation as soon as we move out of our parent or guardian’s house, so we have to work hard to get a job that will make however much money we need to live the way we want. But there has to be an end goal or we will forever be spending our time making more money to get more cars, go on bigger vacations, send our kids to more prestigious private schools, and buy more property. Some time spent in self-reflection will help you find out how much stuff you actually need.
14. Ignoring your Inner Needs
It’s important to look inside ourselves frequently to assess our needs because the aspects we suppress will find negative outlets instead. If you believe in nature vs. nurture, there are parts of ourselves that have been suppressed and denied expression since we were born. The more of your natural behaviors and personality that can be expressed, the happier you will be.
15. Surrounding yourself with Yes-People
We like to spend time with other like-minded people, but if you find that you are rarely contradicted or challenged, you haven’t created a community but instead surrounded yourself with yes-people. Living in an echo chamber only solidifies problematic behaviors and beliefs, which puts a distance between you and those who think differently.
16. Not Moving your body Enough
You don’t have to run or swim for miles to experience the benefits of moving your body. Humans were designed to move, but there are no rules about how we need to move, just that we need to move regularly. Dance, skate, stretch, walk, bowl, ski, kayak. It’s all good. People who avoid physical activity are truly missing out on a complete human experience.
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