In our fast-paced, constantly connected world, taking time for yourself can often feel like an indulgence. However, prioritizing self-care is essential for maintaining your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. We know that in order to show up for other people (friends, family, co-workers), we have to take care of ourselves first, so don’t let anyone tell you differently. Here are 15 things you should be doing that aren’t selfish but are vital for a balanced and fulfilling life.
1. Practicing self-compassion
Think it’s selfish to cut yourself a little slack sometimes? Think again. Contrary to popular belief, being hard on yourself isn’t actually all that motivating. You aren’t always going to make the perfect choices, be the perfect friend, and get everything on your to-do list done, and that’s okay. It’s possible to give yourself a break sometimes and still believe you’re doing the best you can.
2. Setting boundaries
Establishing limits with others protects your time and energy, allowing you to focus on what truly matters to you without feeling overwhelmed or resentful. You don’t have to bend over backward and leave your comfort zone to make other people happy all the time. Anyone who cares about you will respect your boundaries and never try to push you beyond your limits.
3. Pursuing personal interests
Whether you’re a mom, have a hectic work schedule, or spend a lot of time helping family members (or all of the above), it’s important that you make time for your own interests. It might not always be easy when you have so many other people demanding your attention, but engaging in hobbies and activities you love can provide a sense of fulfillment. Whether it’s painting, gardening, or reading, make time for what makes you happy—even if you have to put it in your weekly calendar so everyone knows.
4. Exercising regularly
We all know how important exercise is for our physical, mental, and emotional health. That being said, it can be hard to fit it into a busy schedule. Luckily, something as simple as walking can be beneficial and is totally worth making time for. If anyone has a problem with you taking time to yourself to exercise, maybe it’s time you fill them in on why they should be doing it too.
5. Focusing on a healthy diet
Have you noticed that your social life tends to revolve around food and alcohol? While there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself and having a good time once in a while, it’s also important to stick to a diet that makes you feel healthy and energized. Meal prepping, cooking at home, and cutting back on drinking might have an impact on your social life, and some people will have opinions on that, but don’t let it deter you. Your dietary choices shouldn’t have anything to do with anyone else, so don’t let people make you feel bad about pursuing a healthier lifestyle.
6. Getting enough sleep
Don’t want to stay out past midnight partying anymore? Prefer to go to bed at a decent hour rather than stay up late watching Netflix with your partner? As we get older, getting a solid night of sleep is way more important than socializing until the wee hours of the morning—especially if you have to work or have other plans the next day. Go ahead and prioritize getting 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night, even if it means you’re leaving the party early.
7. Spending time alone
This might feel especially difficult if you have a family of your own, but it’s still important to find a little time to just be by yourself without anyone asking anything of you. It gives you a chance to check in with yourself, and practicing mindfulness can help you recognize unhealthy patterns and come up with a way to fix them. If you’re always distracted, it’s a lot harder to make sure you’re being intentional about your life and the decisions you make.
8. Learning new skills
Want to learn how to crochet? Or practice a new language or learn how to play an instrument? Life is full of new opportunities and it’s never selfish to put time towards learning something new. It’s a great way to stay sharp and continuously challenge yourself whether it’s in your personal life or your career. It can also help you become a more well-rounded person who can talk to anyone—what’s selfish about that?
9. Accepting help from others
Does it feel like you’re adding to other people’s burdens when you ask for help? If they genuinely care about you, they will have the capacity to be there for you, and it’s your job to let them. It’s actually more selfish to try to do everything on your own and ignore offers of assistance—you’re only protecting your own ego when you refuse to let people help you.
10. Going to therapy
We all go through ups and downs and it can be really helpful to talk to someone who can be objective and offer guidance for navigating your emotions. If you’re struggling with mental health issues, seeking therapy or counseling is never a sign of weakness or selfishness, it’s actually a courageous and essential step towards healing.
11. Putting yourself first
Isn’t putting yourself before others the very definition of selfishness? Not exactly. On airplanes, they literally advise you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else, and that’s because if you aren’t taken care of, you won’t be of any use to anyone else. Do whatever you need to do to feel strong, capable, and stable, even if it means compromising on how much you can be there for others sometimes.
12. Saying no
If you’re feeling burnt out from a busy week or you’re invited to something you simply don’t want to go to, it’s okay to decline an invitation. Even if it’s something you’d normally do, if you’re not in the mood, let yourself say no without worrying about the consequences. As long as you aren’t making a habit of breaking promises or being flaky, saying no and changing your mind once in a while is allowed.
13. Taking breaks and vacations
Don’t fall victim to the workaholic mentality where you don’t use all your allotted vacation days and never call in sick to work—even when you’re actually sick. You aren’t actually impressing anyone with this attitude and it will only lead to resentment and burnout on your part. Always take every single vacation and sick day available to you, and if anyone makes you feel bad about it, maybe it’s time to look for a new job.
14. Caring about your appearance
It’s not shallow or selfish to spend time trying to look nice. From your bi-monthly hair appointment and booking a mani-pedi to going for a facial or experimenting with a new makeup trend, looking your best boosts your self-confidence and helps you show up as the strong, capable person you are in your day-to-day life. Not everyone will have the same priorities or interests as you, but there’s still nothing wrong with caring how you look—and putting time and effort into it.
15. Spending money on yourself
You work hard to support yourself, pay your bills, and save for the future. You might even allocate a small part of your budget to charitable donations. After all that is covered, how you budget the rest is up to you. Friends and family might have opinions on your spending habits, but frankly, it’s none of their business. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for treating yourself to a trip, a new outfit, or a nice dinner out. You deserve it.
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