16 Things Women Wish Men Understood About Intimacy (Beyond The Physical)

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Ever feel like there’s more to intimacy than just the physical stuff? You’re not alone! A lot of women feel the same way. While physical intimacy is a part of it, there’s a whole emotional and mental side to it that’s just as important, if not more so. So, guys, listen up, because this is what we wish you understood about intimacy, beyond what happens in the bedroom.

1. Intimacy starts long before the bedroom.

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It’s the little things that count. Holding hands, cuddling on the couch, a surprise hug, a loving text message – these small acts of affection create a foundation of closeness and trust, Forbes notes. It’s about feeling safe and loved in your presence, even when you’re not physically intimate. It’s the emotional connection that makes the physical connection even more meaningful.

2. Communication is key to emotional intimacy.

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Talking about your feelings, dreams, and fears is just as important as physical touch. There’s nothing more vital than being open and honest with each other, sharing your vulnerabilities, and truly listening to each other’s perspectives. Emotional intimacy is built on trust, understanding, and a deep connection that goes beyond words.

3. Intimacy involves vulnerability and trust.

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To truly be intimate with someone, you have to let your guard down and be vulnerable. This means sharing your fears, insecurities, and deepest desires. It also means trusting your partner to love and accept you for who you are, flaws and all. Vulnerability can be scary, but it’s essential for building a deep and lasting connection.

4. Emotional intimacy can be even more powerful than physical intimacy.

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While physical intimacy is important, emotional intimacy can be even more fulfilling. It’s about feeling seen, heard, and understood on a deep level. Not only that, but sharing your dreams, fears, and vulnerabilities with your partner and feeling safe and supported in doing so. Emotional intimacy creates a strong bond that can withstand the ups and downs of life.

5. Intimacy is not just about what happens in the bedroom.

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While the physical stuff is a part of intimacy for many couples, it’s not the only part. Intimacy encompasses all the ways you connect with your partner – emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. It’s about sharing your lives, supporting each other’s goals, and creating a sense of closeness and belonging. It’s not just about what happens in the bedroom; everything that happens outside of it matters too.

6. Intimacy takes time and effort to build.

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It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, effort, and a willingness to be vulnerable and open with each other. It’s about showing up for each other every day, even when it’s not easy. It’s about choosing to love each other, flaws and all, and working together to create a deeper and more meaningful connection.

7. Intimacy requires mutual respect and understanding.

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Valuing each other’s thoughts, feelings, and needs is so important. We want you to listen without judgment and respond with empathy and compassion. Getting close is all about creating a safe space where you can both be yourselves without fear of criticism or rejection. Mutual respect and understanding are the cornerstones of a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

8. Intimacy is about feeling safe and secure.

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Knowing that you can be yourself, flaws and all, without fear of judgment or rejection is a gift. Everyone wants to feel supported, loved, and cherished for who you are. There’s nothing better than having a partner who’s got your back, no matter what. This sense of safety and security allows you to let your guard down, be vulnerable, and truly connect with your partner on a deeper level.

9. Touch that isn’t a prelude to physical intimacy is still important.

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A simple hug, a gentle touch on the arm, or cuddling on the couch can mean the world. Touch releases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which strengthens bonds and creates a sense of security. It’s a way to show affection and connection without the pressure of expectations to head to the bedroom.

10. Intimacy isn’t always spontaneous; sometimes it needs to be planned.

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Life gets busy, and sometimes you need to schedule intimacy just like you schedule other important things. It’s not always spontaneous, but setting aside dedicated time for connection can help you prioritize your relationship and make sure you’re both getting your needs met.

11. Sometimes, intimacy means just being present.

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It’s not always about grand gestures or passionate conversations. Sometimes, the most intimate moments are the quiet ones, where you’re simply present with each other. It could be sitting together in silence, reading in the same room, or just enjoying each other’s company without any expectations or distractions.

12. Emotional intimacy requires safety and trust.

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To feel comfortable being vulnerable and sharing our deepest feelings, we need to know that we won’t be judged or rejected. Relationships should create a safe space where we can express ourselves without fear. Trust is also essential. We need to know that our partner will keep our confidences and respect our boundaries.

13. We need to feel desired and appreciated.

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Feeling desired and appreciated is a crucial part of intimacy, PsyPost points out. It’s not just about compliments on our appearance; we want to feel like our partner genuinely enjoys our company, values our contributions, and finds us attractive on multiple levels. A simple “I love spending time with you” or “I appreciate you so much” can go a long way in making us feel desired and cherished.

14. Intimacy is not just for special occasions.

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It should be woven into the fabric of your everyday lives. It’s not just about candlelit dinners and romantic getaways; it’s about the small, everyday moments of connection. The little things matter — holding hands while walking, sharing a laugh over dinner, or simply listening to each other’s day. These small moments add up and create a deep sense of intimacy and connection.

15. Rejection hurts, even when it’s not about physical intimacy.

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When our partner turns down a hug, ignores our attempts at conversation, or seems disinterested in our emotional needs, it can be just as hurtful as rejecting our advances. It’s important to be sensitive to our partners’ feelings and communicate openly about our needs and desires.

16. Intimacy is an ongoing process, not a destination.

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It’s not something you achieve and then forget about. It’s a continuous journey of discovery, connection, and growth. Relationships are about constantly showing up for each other, communicating openly, and finding new ways to deepen your bond. We should choose to love each other every day, even when it’s challenging, and celebrating the unique connection you share.

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