Most people have some degree of empathy. While not all of us feel things as strongly as others, most of us can empathize with other people and connect with them emotionally. It’s an important trait that helps people build real human connections. Unfortunately, some people rarely exhibit empathy and understanding to anyone they meet. Those people often have these traits.
1. They’re dismissive of other people’s feelings and opinions.
One of the most common traits among people who lack empathy is being dismissive of other people’s feelings and opinions, per Verywell Mind. They can’t imagine what it would be like to go through someone else’s struggles. Without this perspective, they find it hard to listen to someone else’s perspective on anything. So, you will notice these types of people not entertaining anyone else’s on any topic.
2. They struggle to maintain long-term relationships.
People who lack empathy often struggle to maintain long-term relationships. It isn’t just romantic relationships they struggle with, but friendships as well. Being in a romantic relationship or friendship isn’t just about laughing and having fun. A lot of the time, it’s about being there for the other person when they’re experiencing struggles. If someone doesn’t have empathy, the other person will feel like they aren’t being supported how they deserve and will cut the person without empathy out of their lives. People without empathy can have shallow relationships, but deep, meaningful relationships are possible in the long term.
3. They’re bad listeners.
Active listening is another essential quality for someone with empathy. It allows people to understand what makes people upset and how to support them. People who lack this quality not only fail lto listen actively, but they tend to tune out of the conversation when people start to talk about their feelings. They aren’t concerned with what other people have to say when it doesn’t affect them directly, so they disengage pretty quickly.
4. They’re overly stubborn and argumentative.
People without empathy are often very stubborn. They get locked into their opinion and refuse to have it changed. They will get into arguments about tiny things because they can’t accept that they’re wrong or that two people could have different opinions. Headstrong people can’t objectively take in other information that critiques their opinion, so they get into arguments without thinking critically.
5. They often say wrong and inappropriate things.
Part of having empathy involves understanding that you can’t act the same around everyone. Not everyone has the same sense of humor, and some are more sensitive than others. People without empathy don’t recognize this. They make the same jokes around everyone because they think it’s funny. While some people might find it funny, while others might be offended. They can’t read body language from other people when they’re uncomfortable, or if they can, they don’t care. So, they’ll keep making the same inappropriate comments regardless of the environment.
6. They have a bad temper.
Anti-empathetic people tend to have very short fuses and lose their cool quickly. This is because these types of people often struggle to regulate their own feelings and emotions. As a result, they are prone to emotional outbursts and snap reactions to things that should not set them off. Everyone has emotional outbursts occasionally, but it’s a frequent occurrence for people without empathy.
7. They’re impatient.
Patience is a virtue, as they say, and it’s a quality that not everyone has. Even people with empathy often struggle with patience. Not everyone without patience lacks empathy, but everyone without empathy lacks patience. The reason for this is that patience is all about tolerance. It’s about allowing people to be themselves, even if it means doing things differently or waiting a little longer for something to happen. Not being able to wait sometimes is a sign of intolerance that is prevalent in people without empathy.
8. They come off as cold because they’re ignorant of other people’s struggles.
People who lack empathy don’t just misunderstand other’s emotions. They simply don’t see what the big deal is when they hear about someone else’s struggles, and they tend to downplay what other people are feeling because they aren’t experiencing it themselves. They might try to give a solution that they think is obvious, when really all the other person needs is emotional support. They’ll think the other person is being melodramatic and get frustrated. As a result, they’ll come off as cold.
9. They only think of how their actions affect themselves.
One of the most obvious signs that someone does not have empathy is they don’t consider how their actions impact other people. When they do something, they only stop to consider how it will affect them. They don’t care if it will negatively impact someone else, even if it’s a friend or family member. If it’s beneficial to them, they’ll do it without a second thought. A lot of the time, they’re not intentionally disregarding people — they don’t even think to consider how their behavior might come across.
10. They victim blame.
People without empathy always blame people for their circumstances. They’ll see a homeless person and talk about what they did to end up there rather than feeling sympathy for the person and how they’re clearly down on their luck. If someone is attacked at night, they’ll say that person wasn’t being smart for being out that late alone. They’re quick to blame the victim in all situations.
11. They’re unforgiving of mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes in all stages of life, but people who lack empathy don’t seem to recognize that to make a mistake is to be human. They don’t forgive the mistake and never give second chance to people when they mess up. They have a holier-than-thou attitude that comes off as very condescending.
12. They’re oblivious to social cues.
Another thing to look out for with people without empathy is they are usually oblivious to social cues. So much of how people communicate is non-verbal. It comes down to how we express ourselves in our tone of voice, body language, and general demeanor. For example, when you hear your partner say that they’re fine in a monotone or frustrated voice, you can tell that they’re upset. People without empathy don’t recognize this. They take everything at face value.
13. They’re overly self-reliant.
These types of people tend to do things by themselves, often to a fault. They don’t want to rely on other people, so they’ll never ask for help. As a result, when people ask them for help, they’re not usually willing. These people aren’t necessarily arrogant, but since they can’t imagine themselves helping someone else, they don’t even think to ask for it.
14. They don’t display emotion.
People without empathy are often very closed off emotionally. They hate when people complain about their struggles to them, so they don’t like to do it to anyone else. They prefer to handle their problems without letting other people know that there’s something wrong. They give nothing away in their faces in terms of emotional expression. That isn’t to say that they don’t feel emotion; they do, but they don’t show it.
15. They’re visibly uncomfortable when people show emotion.
While people without empathy struggle to understand body language, they often display the worst body language when people are emotional around them. They’ll look away, turn their backs, and look down at the floor when people are crying, upset, or displaying any abnormal emotion. They’re incredibly uncomfortable when they’re in these situations, so they do anything they can to avoid them.
16. They like being alone.
Lastly, people without empathy often prefer solitude. Whereas some people might prefer to go out with friends on the weekend, they prefer to stay home and entertain themselves. That isn’t to say that all introverts lack empathy, but people without empathy are almost always introverts. They view communal leisure time as a chore rather than something to be enjoyed.
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