Some people really seem to get a kick out of making you look bad, and that’s not cool. They’re masters of manipulation who constantly try to undermine your confidence and make themselves look better in the process. It can be a subtle dig in a conversation or a more overt attack on your character, but knowing their tactics will help you spot them early so you can protect yourself.
1. They make sarcastic or belittling remarks.
These comments might seem like jokes, but they’re often thinly veiled insults designed to make you feel foolish or inadequate. They might make fun of your appearance, your intelligence, or your choices. This is their way of putting you down in front of other people while maintaining plausible deniability. If it feels like a personal attack disguised as humor, trust your gut, Verywell Mind suggests.
2. They interrupt you or talk over you.
Have you ever tried to share your thoughts or opinions, only to be constantly interrupted or talked over? This is a power move designed to silence your voice and make you feel unimportant. It’s a way for them to assert dominance and control the conversation, while making you feel like your contributions are irrelevant.
3. They dismiss your ideas or opinions.
Whenever you share an idea or express your opinion, they’re quick to shoot it down or dismiss it as unimportant. They might say things like, “That’s a stupid idea,” or “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” This tactic undermines your confidence and makes you less likely to speak up in the future.
4. They twist your words or misrepresent your intentions.
This is a classic gaslighting tactic. They’ll take your words out of context, exaggerate your statements, or put a negative spin on your intentions. This can be incredibly confusing and frustrating, as it makes you question your own memory and perception of reality. It’s a way to make you doubt yourself and appear unreliable to people.
5. They criticize you in public.
Whether it’s subtle digs about your appearance or more overt attacks on your character, toxic people love to put you down in public. This not only humiliates you, but it also makes you doubt yourself and your abilities. It’s a way for them to elevate themselves by making you look bad in comparison.
6. They spread rumors or gossip about you.
Toxic people thrive on drama and chaos, WebMD warns. They might spread false rumors, exaggerate stories, or reveal your secrets to other people in an attempt to damage your reputation. This kind of backstabbing behavior is incredibly hurtful and can make it difficult to trust people.
7. They take credit for your work or ideas.
This is a particularly evil form of manipulation. Toxic people will often steal your ideas, take credit for your work, or downplay your contributions to make themselves look better. It’s a way to boost their own ego and undermine your confidence. It’s important to stand up for yourself and give yourself credit for your hard work.
8. They compare you to other people in a negative way.
This is a classic tactic used to make you feel inadequate. They might compare you unfavorably to your peers, siblings, or even ex-partners. They might highlight your flaws and weaknesses while emphasizing other people’s strengths. This constant comparison can erode your self-esteem and make you feel like you’re never good enough.
9. They exclude you from social events or conversations.
Ever been in a group where a toxic person intentionally leaves you out of the loop? They might whisper to people, change the subject when you approach, or make inside jokes that you’re not privy to. This deliberate exclusion is a way to make you feel isolated and unimportant, undermining your confidence and creating a sense of insecurity within the group.
10. They undermine your confidence with subtle put-downs.
Sometimes, the most hurtful words are disguised as compliments or jokes. Toxic people might offer backhanded compliments like, “You look great for your age,” or make snide remarks about your choices or appearance. These subtle put-downs chip away at your self-esteem over time and can leave you feeling insecure and unsure of yourself.
11. They gossip about you behind your back.
Toxic people love to stir up drama and create division. They might spread rumors, exaggerate stories, or reveal personal information about you to other people in an attempt to destroy your reputation. This kind of betrayal can be devastating and make it difficult to trust anyone.
12. They try to turn people against you.
If a toxic person feels threatened by you, they might try to isolate you by turning your friends or colleagues against you. They might spread lies, manipulate situations, or plant seeds of doubt in people’s minds. This kind of social sabotage can leave you feeling alone and unsupported.
13. They make you feel like you’re always overreacting.
When you express your concerns or try to address an issue, they accuse you of being overly sensitive, dramatic, or irrational. This is a way to invalidate your feelings and make you question your own judgment, per Psych Central. They might even use this tactic to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions or to gaslight you into thinking that you’re the problem, not them.
14. They constantly question your sanity or intelligence.
Toxic people might make subtle comments about your mental health, intelligence, or decision-making abilities. They might say things like, “Are you sure you’re okay?” or “Are you really going to wear that?” These comments are designed to make you doubt yourself and your abilities, making you more reliant on their validation and approval.
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