That idea of the classic psychopath — cold, calculating, probably a dude in a suit, right? — isn’t necessarily accurate.
As it turns out, that image needs an update. Female psychopaths exist too, and they might be a lot closer than you realize. From the coworker who always seems to climb the ladder, to the friend with all the drama, some of them could be hiding their true nature. As Dr. Clive Boddy tells The Guardian, female psychopathy is a lot more subtle, which may be why it’s so hard to spot. Here are some warning signs to look out for to help you do just that.
1. They’re masters of charm.
Forget the stereotype of a dark, brooding loner. Female psychopaths are often extroverted, charismatic, and the life of the party. Think of them as social butterflies with a hidden agenda. They’re able to work a room, draw people in close, and make people feel special and important, which makes them incredibly successful at getting what they want.
2. They’re experts at playing the victim.
When a female psychopath does something wrong, they never take the blame. They twist situations around, making themselves appear as the innocent one struggling against an unfair world. A bad performance review? It’s their boss’s vendetta against them. Relationship problems? It’s always their partner’s fault.
3. They don’t feel guilt or remorse.
Empathy simply isn’t in their vocabulary. Female psychopaths simply don’t feel things the way most people do, Live Science explains. They can hurt others, manipulate them, or lie without a flicker of guilt. It’s because those emotional responses that make us “good people” just aren’t wired into their brains the same way.
4. They’re fearless risk-takers.
For a female psychopath, life’s a gamble and they’re all in. Whether it’s jumping into a new relationship, making a bold career move, or bending the rules a bit (or a lot!), that lack of fear makes them seem daring and exciting to others. It’s part of what makes them so successful in life, sadly.
5. They use people as pawns.
Everyone around a female psychopath is a potential tool to be used. They cultivate relationships based on what they can gain from the other person – power, money, status, etc. Once they’ve squeezed out every last bit of usefulness, those relationships get tossed aside without a second thought.
6. They love making others uncomfortable.
Ever have a coworker who subtly insults you with a smile, or a friend who loves sharing shockingly inappropriate stories just to see you squirm? That could be a female psychopath subtly getting kicks out of pushing your buttons. They thrive on the discomfort and reactions they can provoke in others.
7. They crave control.
Female psychopaths hate feeling like they’re not in charge. They’ll play games, manipulate situations, even create chaos, all to position themselves as the ones pulling the strings. If you feel like someone’s always trying to micromanage you, whether it’s at work or in your personal life, that’s a red flag.
8. They’re always after something.
Forget genuine connections or simply wanting to kick back and have fun. Female psychopaths have an agenda, even if you don’t see it at the start. Every conversation, every social interaction — there’s an angle they’re working. If you start feeling like someone in your life always seems to want something from you, pay attention to that instinct.
9. They lie like it’s nothing.
For a female psychopath, lying is just another tool in the toolbox, Psychology Today notes. Small lies, big lies, lies about something serious or something completely pointless… it doesn’t matter. They’ll lie if it gets them what they want, or even just for a bit of amusement. The scariest part is, they’re often so convincing, you might not even realize you’re being manipulated.
10. They can be incredibly impulsive.
One minute they’re talking about work, the next they’ve booked a spontaneous girls’ trip to Vegas. Female psychopaths crave excitement and stimulation. They get bored easily, so sudden life changes, spur-of-the-moment decisions, and even a tendency towards addictive behaviors can be warning signs.
11. They don’t form deep emotional bonds.
Close lifelong friendships? A loving and supportive family? Those connections just aren’t possible for female psychopaths. Their lack of empathy gets in the way; they can’t form the genuine emotional attachments most people need. Even if they’re married or have kids, those relationships are usually based on what the psychopath is getting out of it, not a deep loving bond.
12. They’re quick to anger.
While female psychopaths are experts at putting on that charming, friendly facade, sometimes it slips. When things don’t go their way or they feel challenged, a switch can flip. They might lash out verbally, say hurtful things designed to sting, or even become physically aggressive.
13. They’re drawn to power and prestige.
Think of those CEOs ruthless enough to climb over anyone to get to the top, or socialites who’ll backstab a friend to secure an invitation. That drive for power, status, and wealth attracts female psychopaths. It’s partly why they can be so successful… they’re willing to do things most of us wouldn’t.
14. They often have a troubled past.
Now, not everyone who has a difficult childhood becomes a psychopath! However, things like childhood trauma, abuse, or neglect can be common in women who develop psychopathic traits. It doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it helps explain why their brains developed with that empathy switch missing.
15. They’re masters of gaslighting.
Gaslighting is the art of messing with someone’s head, making them question their own reality. A female psychopath might subtly change details of a story, deny that something happened, or make you feel like you’re being overly sensitive. The goal is to make you doubt yourself and make them seem like the “sane” one.
16. They may seem to have a sixth sense for your vulnerabilities.
Female psychopaths are incredibly perceptive when it comes to reading people. They zero in on insecurities, fears, and weak spots almost instantly. This lets them exploit those vulnerabilities to their advantage – whether it’s to get you to do something for them or simply to hurt you for fun.
17. Protecting yourself is vital.
If you suspect you’re dealing with a female psychopath, your best bet is to limit contact. Don’t get drawn into their games, don’t try to change them, and trust your gut! If someone is consistently making you feel uneasy, confused, or on edge, it’s okay to distance yourself, even without concrete proof they’re a psychopath.
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