Although people might encourage you to live life your way, you can’t deny that it’s not always easy. Society tries to pigeonhole you when it comes to having a relationship, getting married, going to college, and tons of other pressures. But who made the rules? Whatever happened to doing things your way, following your passions, and setting your own guidelines for life? Here are 15 things that society makes you feel guilty about, but are totally normal.
1. Making mistakes
Although slipping up and making mistakes is a natural part of being human, it sometimes feels like failure is stigmatized in society. That’s why you might feel ashamed or inferior when you don’t achieve your goal or when your plans fall through. But, by trying to avoid failure, you disregard what it can teach you. Your mistakes are always waiting for you to unpack them so you can find new, creative solutions to problems. They help you pave the way forward and teach you tons about yourself.
2. Showing emotion
Being emotionally vulnerable is a sign of strength, not weakness—and yet, society makes you feel like you should keep your feelings under wraps or risk being judged for them. For example, you might not want to cry in public out of fear that others won’t understand or will reject you. The problem with internalizing your feelings is that they may eventually manifest as depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues. Express yourself to people you trust so you can lighten the load of what you’re going through.
3. Prioritizing self-care
There seems to be a big misconception in society that taking time for self-care on a regular basis is silly or selfish. Many people don’t understand that self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and manicures. It’s about taking care of yourself. This can involve recharging your battery, having time alone to process your thoughts and feelings, and setting boundaries for yourself so that you focus on your needs instead of pushing them aside.
4. Asking for help
Although seeking support from others when you’re stressed out and overwhelmed is a sign of resourcefulness, there is sometimes a belief that you’ll appear incompetent when reaching out to others. That’s why you might feel societal pressure to be independent and take care of yourself no matter what, but this is unrealistic. You can’t always carry all the burdens in life alone, and you shouldn’t feel like you have to.
5. Changing careers
When you want to take the leap and change your career, you might experience negativity from people who are skeptical about your success. You might also feel worried about making the wrong choice or letting failure define you. And yet, career exploration and changes are common as we grow and learn more about ourselves. Stability and continuity might be great, but switching paths can help us embrace change and adaptability which further help us to grow.
6. Embracing your body
Societal beauty standards promote a very narrow and unrealistic idea about what’s viewed as attractive. If you’re not a size zero, you might feel ashamed of your body and experience low self-worth. As a result, you might engage in unhealthy diets and other practices to seek external validation to make yourself feel better. Instead of achieving that, it prevents you from celebrating what makes you uniquely beautiful and appealing.
7. Being a forever single
It can feel fulfilling and empowering to fly solo in life, but there’s still societal pressure to find a romantic partner to be happy. Your relatives might keep asking you when you’ll meet someone nice, or your coupled-up friends might imply that they’re happier than they were when they were single. The FOMO makes it tough to deal with at times! But, it’s unrealistic to think you need a partner to complete you. Happiness is an inside job!
8. Disliking sports
Everyone has unique interests and hobbies, but there’s sometimes pressure to like what’s popular, such as sports. If you’re the only person in your social circle who doesn’t care about watching or playing sports, you might feel alienated. There are many other people who share your feelings, and would probably say that it’s normal to find it boring or uninspiring! If everyone liked the same things, life would be so boring.
9. Not having kids
Once you’ve found someone to marry, society might expect you to have children. But that’s faulty thinking. Many people have valid reasons why they don’t want to have kids, such as because they’re conscious of the environment or derive fulfillment from other things. There are so many more choices available for people than there were decades ago, so it’s unrealistic to think that everyone should procreate.
10. Feeling positive about aging
It sounds crazy to think that something as normal as aging is so stigmatized. There’s constant pressure to continue to look youthful throughout life, especially for women, even though this is unrealistic and impossible. By embracing aging, you can reduce the stress and anxiety of trying to chase youthfulness. You can live a happier life by focusing on the positive experiences of getting older, such as becoming wiser, more empowered, and having a renewed purpose.
11. Being introverted
Some people who are introverted might feel pressure to be social. Introversion is often misconstrued as shyness, social anxiety, or aloofness. This creates negative stereotypes. In reality, it’s simply a preference for less stimulation and more self-reflection, rather than a fear or complete avoidance of social interaction. There are many benefits associated with being introverted, such as having greater self-awareness and being comfortable with being alone.
12. Not focusing too much on the future
There’s tons of pressure to know where you’re going and what your five-year plan is in life. But that’s stressful! It’s not always easy to focus on the future, and honestly? It’s not always healthy to fixate on the next few months or years. It’s healthier to slow down and focus on the present moment so that life doesn’t pass you by. And yet, there’s still lots of societal pressure to focus on your destination in life, instead of embracing the journey.
13. Not constantly doing activities
In society, people tend to glamorize the idea of being busy. If you’re not preoccupied with work and other activities, you might feel guilty, especially if everyone around you is rushing around with no time to spare. But here’s the thing: taking opportunities to rest and unwind, and take stock of your life, can help you tremendously to focus on what you want. It also prevents unhealthy stress and burnout.
14. Saying “no”
It can be healthy to say “no” to social events or other people’s demands of you. It helps you to preserve your resources, such as time and energy. If you’re always quick to help others or spend time with them, you’re not focusing enough on your needs. You might also allow yourself to become stressed and overburdened. Being true to yourself is empowering and fosters genuine connections with others. Saying “no” when it aligns with your values and needs promotes integrity and authenticity. In this way, it can be healthier for your relationships than if you’re always saying “yes” when you don’t want to do things.
15. Not checking your email every five minutes
Since the dawn of smartphones, there’s been this pressure to check your emails all the time so you can respond to people promptly. But, you don’t need to be glued to your phone! If you’re constantly checking your inbox, you’re stressing yourself out and avoiding a healthy work-life balance that keeps you sane. You don’t always have to be “on” or available to everyone who needs you. Go ahead and switch off your phone for a while—it’s good for you!
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