Narcissists are good at making their victims feel powerless and out of control. Many people, even those you trusted, will believe the lies a narcissist tells when they start a smear campaign against you. You learn who was in your corner and who was always on the fence when you begin to pull away from toxic people in your life. Surviving a smear campaign isn’t easy, but there are some things you can do that will help you get through it.
1. Block them on everything.
The first step when you remove any toxic person from your life should be to block them everywhere. Remove and block them from your social media accounts, block their phone number, and start moving on with your life. While what you don’t know can hurt you, you’ll spend far less time fretting over what they may be saying about you on social media and more time living your life to the fullest.
2. Find your true friends.
You’re bound to have a few close friends in your corner who don’t buy into the BS your tormentor is tossing about to the rest of the world. Lean on those people when you need them, but always ask first. You don’t want to cross any boundaries or put too much on one friend and start coming off as toxic yourself.
3. Cut out the people who are feeding them info…
It would be best if you learned to keep your eyes and ears open to the people in your life who know the narcissist who is attacking you. Don’t be afraid to kick someone to the curb when you find someone playing both sides. You don’t need two-faced people in your life when you’re already struggling with a toxic narcissist who is out to ruin you.
4. … But don’t give friends ultimatums.
The last thing you want to do is make mutual friends choose between you and the narcissist — that could blow up in your face, Psychology Today notes. People can be friends with both exes, whether they are ex-lovers or ex-friends. You can talk to mutual friends and let them know that you don’t care who they’re friends with as long as what you speak to them about stays between the two of you.
5. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.
If someone comes at you with something negative or derogatory that they heard from the smear campaign, set them straight. The key to doing this without sounding like you’re guilty of what you’re accused of is to speak calmly with facts about yourself only — don’t add insults against the perpetrator.
6. Don’t bother arguing with the narcissist.
While you should stand up for yourself in situations where someone is spreading lies about you, arguing with the narcissist will get you nowhere and give them more fuel to call you out on things. Rather than arguing with a narcissist, do your best to ignore them. They want your reaction; if you give them none, they’ll get bored.
7. Keep being yourself.
Don’t let the words and actions of a petty narcissist make you change who you are. They’re projecting and spreading untruths about you, but that doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person. The right people will see right through their lies and see the real you. However, if you’re busy changing to try to make your accuser stop, you confuse those standing up for you as they begin to feel as though they don’t know you either.
8. Skip fighting fire with fire.
The last thing you ever want to do when it comes to a narcissistic smear campaign is start your own. By fighting them with their tactics, you only begin to look like the narcissist and allow them a chance to play the victim. This makes witnesses start to believe the lies they’re hearing about you.
9. Don’t give them any more ammo.
That means not posting cryptic messages on social media that they may believe are about them. If you do, you’re egging them on. Just keep living your life and let them get tired of attacking someone who has better things to do than react.
10. Document what they’re doing and saying.
You do want to keep track of all the things they’re doing. This list of dates, times, and incidents can come in handy if things get hairy, and you need to get a personal protection order or take your narcissistic attacker to court for slander.
11. Be honest with the people around you.
A narcissist can try to damage your life in many ways with their smear campaign, including going to your boss with lies to try to get you to lose your job. If you approach your employer first, letting them know what’s going on in your personal life and how it could infringe on your work, you’re ensuring that your job is at least remotely stable if your narcissistic attacker goes that route.
12. Don’t start believing their lies.
The more you hear things said about you that may not be true, the more you may start to wonder if they are accurate and if you were just blind to them. Don’t fall into this trap — this is precisely what the narcissist wants. Keep focusing on who you’ve always been.
13. Practice self-love.
When you’re constantly under fire by a narcissist, it is easy to forget to take some time out to take care of yourself. Things like meditation and pampering allow you to calm your mind, relax, and stop worrying about all the nonsense in your life. Don’t worry; it will probably still be there when you finish that yoga session, but you’ll feel better and mentally equipped to handle it.
14. Ignore it.
Ignoring the smear campaign shows you are a bigger person and self-confident. While not all narcissists will stop a smear campaign when it doesn’t garner a reaction from the victim, many will give up because what they wanted was to rile you up.
15. Talk to a therapist.
If you don’t have friends to confide in, or the attacks are getting out of hand, and you need some relief, schedule an appointment with a therapist. They can offer tactics to help you deal with a smear campaign that we may have missed in this list. They can also help you remember that you’re not necessarily who other people say you are.
