Some of us are just not quiet people — we can’t help it. We laugh loudly, talk with our hands, and don’t do well with the whole “indoor voice” thing. It gets us side-eye sometimes, and a lot of people make assumptions about us that are totally off-base. Here are some of the biggest things they get wrong.
1. They’re attention-seeking drama queens.
Some might be, sure, but lots of us are just naturally expressive. Big reactions are how we process emotions. Thinking every enthusiastic outburst means we crave the spotlight misreads genuine passion as performance, which kinda hurts. It’s okay to let us be excited about things without the assumption there’s some ulterior motive.
2. They’re rude and don’t care about other people’s feelings.
We actually do notice if people seem uncomfortable, but sometimes modulating our volume feels inauthentic, and that discomfort is the price of getting the real us. A calm, “Hey, could you tone it down a bit?” will get a much better response than assuming we’re deliberately trying to bother you. It’s more about self-expression than intentionally upsetting anyone.
3. They’re never serious and don’t think deeply about things.
Just because someone expresses themselves boldly doesn’t mean their brain’s on empty. Loud people can be highly intelligent, sensitive, and contemplative. We just might process things externally with more noise than those who internalize everything. Don’t assume that because we’re not quiet means we’re not paying attention.
4. They’re angry all the time.
Passion gets mistaken for rage. For some of us, a raised voice is our baseline, even when we’re perfectly content! Learning our individual communication quirks helps avoid misinterpreting our enthusiasm as something negative. Not every exclamation point is a declaration of war!
5. They can’t control themselves.
We can definitely do the whisper-in-the-library thing if absolutely necessary. The thing is, it takes mental effort. Constantly policing our natural way of being is exhausting. It’s easier in short bursts (job interview, etc.), but expecting it 24/7 isn’t realistic. Just like a quiet person can’t be expected to be “on” all the time, neither can we.
6. They’re trying to dominate every conversation.
Loud people often get labeled as overbearing. However, some of us struggle to find our opening to jump into the chat! Our volume makes it seem like we bulldoze conversations, but sometimes we’re just excited to contribute. We’re not trying to steamroll everyone else. Don’t mistake our enthusiasm for a power grab.
7. They lack empathy or subtlety.
Just because we don’t tiptoe around issues doesn’t mean we’re uncaring. Sometimes, loudness is how we show we’re truly listening and engaged with what you’re saying. We can be deeply empathetic, just with less emphasis on hushed tones. We may not be going around patting on the back and saying “there, there…” at a whisper, but that doesn’t mean we don’t feel for you.
8. They’re bad listeners.
Our outward energy can make people think we aren’t paying attention. Big personalities often have big hearts, and we genuinely want to hear what you have to say! We might fidget or interrupt with excited questions, but that’s us being actively involved, not tuning you out. Just because we don’t sit silently and nod doesn’t mean we aren’t hanging onto your every word.
9. They have zero chill.
We can relax, but it might look different than the quiet version. Loud people might de-stress by singing badly at karaoke, or going wild at a concert. Just because we don’t find stillness soothing doesn’t mean we’re always on the verge of a meltdown. We might recharge our batteries through activities and environments that would be overstimulating for someone naturally quieter.
10. They’re incapable of enjoying peace and quiet.
Many of us actually crave moments of silence for recharging, but just like introverts need social interaction sometimes, extroverted loud people need that burst of auditory expressiveness to feel truly balanced, Headspace explains. Give us the space to have some quiet moments to ourselves, and we’ll be better able to join you when it’s time for the fun to start up again.
11. They’re faking their personality for attention.
Honestly, if being loud got us positive attention all the time, we’d probably do it even more! Most of the time, it earns weird looks and comments. Our expressiveness is simply wired into us, for better or worse. While we’re definitely aware of the effect it has on those around us, the base level of it isn’t a calculated act for the sake of an audience.
12. They’re all extroverts.
This really isn’t true. Some of us are social butterflies, but many loud people are introverts who need downtime to recharge after being “on.” Just because we’re not shy doesn’t mean we don’t crave alone time too. We might just need those solo moments to look a little different than they do for quieter people.
13. They’re close-minded and unwilling to hear other perspectives.
Our volume sometimes makes it seem like we’re bulldozing the conversation with our opinions, but we’re often desperate for a real debate. A good, passionate argument (respectful, of course) can be thrilling for a loud thinker. Just because we defend our viewpoint with energy doesn’t mean we’re not open to being persuaded otherwise.
14. They’re better suited to “unskilled” labor than leadership roles.
Loudness doesn’t equal lack of intelligence or ambition. We can be amazing leaders who can motivate teams with our infectious energy. Assuming we’re only capable of jobs requiring volume, not strategic thinking, is a limiting stereotype. Don’t write off the career potential of someone just because their decibel level is a bit high.
15. Their loudness will fade as they get older.
Maybe a bit, but expecting us to become meek and whispery with age is unrealistic. While we might develop slightly better volume modulation, our core personality is unlikely to drastically change. Give us grace to age on our own timeline, and don’t assume we’ll suddenly morph into a quieter version of ourselves in our golden years.
16. They secretly hate being loud.
It has downsides, for sure, but many of us wouldn’t change it even if we could. Our loudness is part of our self-expression, and forcing us to become someone we’re not would feel deeply stifling. Rather than wishing we were different, a little acceptance and patience go a long way.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow PsychLove on MSN for more!
