Standing up for yourself isn’t always easy. It depends on the situation, the person taking advantage of you and your instinctive reaction to what they say. Defend yourself more easily by checking out these comebacks for those who always try to take advantage of you. You’ll save your energy without the conversation exploding into an argument.
1. “Thanks for your perspective.”
Manipulators sometimes force people into situations through emotional manipulation. They’ll tell you how it’s upsetting to do something alone or how badly their intense emotions are making them feel. The point? They want you to feel like it’s your responsibility to make them happy by doing whatever they want.
Using this phrase to counter that is a polite way to thank them for their input without promising anything. It’s a crucial step in setting emotional boundaries that put your needs first and give you more independence from someone who wants to be your emotional priority.
2. “I need to think about that.”
Time is a tool for manipulators. They’ll say they’re under a tight deadline all the time, so you have to stop whatever you’re doing and put their needs first. Say this phrase whenever someone uses this tactic for something that isn’t actually an emergency.
You’ll give yourself time to consider if you want to do what they’re requesting. Buying more time with this phrase will also make the person back off, potentially resulting in them handling the issue themselves.
3. “That doesn’t work for me.”
You don’t always have to explain yourself to a manipulator. They likely don’t care about your reasoning anyway, so skip the long conversation with this phrase. It politely sets a non-confrontational boundary. You could even say this and suggest that your conversational partner find someone else better suited for what they have in mind.
If you say this and the manipulative person tries pushing you to do it anyway, it’s a clear red flag that they don’t respect you. You can always leave the conversation if they don’t accept a no.
4. “I appreciate your thought process.”
This phrase shows that you recognize how much thought your conversational partner put into what they just said. You could follow it by saying how you don’t think you’re the best candidate to handle what they mentioned, but they can find someone else to help. If the manipulator has a sizable ego, you could also encourage them to use their own strengths to solve the problem at hand.
5. “I love talking with you, but I need some rest now.”
A manipulator might take advantage of your time by calling or texting late into the night. If it’s difficult to think of a way out of the conversation, use this simple comeback.
The manipulator might start playing the victim to get you to stay by saying how you’re abandoning them when they need to vent. You can always say you’ll talk about this another time when you’re rested and ready for the conversation.
6. “I understand what you mean, but I disagree.”
This comeback politely acknowledges that you’ve heard the manipulator’s point of view and still retain your own perspective. Manipulators often take advantage of people by making their own perspective seem like the only solution. This phrase keeps the conversation moving without the manipulator potentially feeling belittled or unheard.
7. “I’m not totally comfortable with that idea.”
Setting boundaries might trigger someone who’s taking advantage of you because they’re used to getting what they want. This comeback is a soft way to set a boundary. You could continue the conversation by explaining why it makes you uncomfortable. If you think the manipulator won’t care about that, suggesting a different idea could be the best way forward.
8. “Let’s think about this strategically.”
Emotions convince people to do things all the time. Manipulators know this, so they might create a heightened emotional conversation to get you to do something. They might say if you don’t handle a specific task, their anxiety will explode or your refusal will be the thing that breaks them.
Saying this comeback in that moment might prevent a potential argument by showing that you want to help, but in a way that’s better for both of you. You’ll automatically reduce the emotional tension so the manipulator doesn’t hold as much power in the conversation.
9. “Do you mind repeating that for me?”
It isn’t always clear when someone’s trying to take advantage of you. When you need a moment to think, ask them to repeat themselves. Note if they rephrase anything or use a different tone to appear sweeter. You can check in with your emotions to see how you feel about the situation before continuing the conversation or leaving.
10. “When you treat me this way, it makes me uncomfortable.”
When someone has a history of taking advantage of you, you can directly address their behavior if it continues. Describe how you feel to avoid placing blame. Even an indirect accusation could trigger an argument or get the conversation off-topic. If your conversational partner doesn’t care about your discomfort, you’ll know it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.
11. “The last time we did that, I didn’t enjoy it.”
If someone successfully makes you do something once, they’ll know they can do it again with the same tactics. You don’t have to continue the behavioral pattern just because you fell for their pressure more than once.
Use this comeback to remind the manipulator that you already tried their idea once and didn’t like it. Turning them down after using this phrase will make your rejection softer.
12. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
Taking advantage of someone doesn’t always mean making them do something. It could also mean trapping you in a conversation where you’re uncomfortable. Maybe a manipulator likes to bring up a topic that makes you emotionally vulnerable so they can use the information against you later. This comeback stops the conversation by prioritizing your needs.
13. “Thank you for recognizing my idea.”
If someone takes advantage of your idea with a group of co-workers or loved ones, this comeback is a clever way to regain ownership of the idea. You’ll gain control of the conversation without seeming petulant or whiney. It’s a great phrase to use in the workplace or your personal life because it’s so polite.
14. “No, thank you.”
Saying no might seem like it could hurt your relationship, but it’s a healthy way to advocate for yourself with anyone. If the person trying to take advantage of you can’t handle it, you’ll know they’re manipulating you based on the intensity of their explosion. It might be time to consider getting a new friend or spending less time with the manipulator if they don’t respect you enough to value when you say no.
15. “Please talk to someone else about this.”
You don’t have to play along with someone who always tries to take advantage of you. Ask them to talk with someone else to save your peace of mind if you’re uncomfortable, irritated or otherwise unhappy. Remember, it’s not your job to sacrifice your peace of mind for someone who wouldn’t do the same for you.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow PsychLove on MSN for more!
