The last thing you want to be seen in dating is a “pick me” girl. Nobody wants this label, once you’re seen as a “pick me” girl, it’s hard to escape it. The world of dating is challenging these days, with so much of it online, and it’s hard to know what’s desperate and what’s not. Here are things that make you look desperate (and not in a good way).
1. Texting them twice.
Say you’ve sent him a text, and you’re waiting for a reply. You feel like it’s been ages, so you’re tempted to send him the same text again or one that says almost the same thing. To avoid being seen as desperate, you must resist this temptation. Texting him a second time will tell him that you have nothing better to do than sit around and wait for his reply.
2. Asking if there’s something wrong with his phone.
You might think sending a text asking if there’s something wrong with his phone is no big deal, but it is. Again, this is a thinly veiled attempt to get him to reply ASAP—and it will only make you look desperate. Most guys will see right through this ruse and know you’re just bugging them to text you.
3. Coming across as too interested.
Again, with so much of the dating world being online these days, it’s a tough terrain to navigate. It’s hard to know what’s being overly eager and what’s just right. However, you’ll need to ensure you can read the room from the start because you don’t want to give off the impression that you’re more interested than him. Learn to play it cool, and let him come to you.
4. Being too generous too early.
If you’re really interested in someone, you might naturally want to shower them with gifts or spend lots of money on them. This is known as “love-bombing,” and it often makes you look desperate. When starting to date someone, you want to take it nice and slow and let things progress naturally. Try not to overdo the generosity in the beginning.
5. Stalking him online and telling him about it.
These days, girls make the most of having access to social media sites to get to know someone before they start dating them. They might look him up on Instagram or Facebook to ensure he’s who he says he is. However, don’t report your findings to him if you want to avoid looking desperate.
6. Being too upfront about how you feel.
Guys don’t like having to play the mind game when it comes to your feelings, but they also don’t want you to lay all of your cards on the table right from the start. Try not to dump your life story on him on the first or even second date; otherwise, you’ll come across as desperate, and he’ll be put off.
7. Turning up unannounced.
Taking things slow is the best approach when you’re just starting to date someone. This includes not turning up to “surprise” him at work or at a bar he said he would be at with friends on Friday night. This is a sure sign of desperation, and you’re too early in the relationship for him to see it as romantic.
8. Being free whenever he’s free.
It’s good to let the guy take the initiative when making plans but try not to be available whenever he wants to hang out. If you’re into him, of course, you’ll want to spend all your time with him, but making yourself available every time he is will only come across as desperate. It’s better to play hard to get and only say you’re free sometimes.
9. Making plans for the future.
Even if you aren’t someone to talk about having kids and getting married on the first date, it’s also important not to plan future dates with him too far in advance. Try to schedule a date at most a week in advance. This shows that you’re thinking too far ahead about going out with him, which might scare him away.
10. Bringing up other women.
When you’ve just started dating someone and you’ve only been out a couple of times, there’s a good chance that they’re dating other people, too. There’s nothing wrong with this, and until something official has been talked about, you shouldn’t chastise them for doing so. Bringing up other women that they might be dating is going to immediately put them off because it implies that you’re the jealous type.
11. Writing long text messages in reply.
Most of the time, guys keep their messages short and sweet. They might get longer as you get deeper into the relationship, but they’re most likely short and flirty for now. Try to keep him interested by matching his energy and sending short messages in reply. Avoid long messages right now, as this might make him think you’re desperate.
12. Bringing up commitment too early.
If you’ve only been on a couple of dates with someone, it’s too early to talk to them about a long-term commitment. Even if you’ve hit it off and feel like you’d be a great couple, it pays to take things slow and let the relationship grow organically.
13. You insult him if he says no.
If you’ve been seeing a guy for a bit, and they’ve just texted you to call it off, try showing grace in your reply. You might be tempted to say something snarky, but this will only show you in a bad light. Do not be mean to him if he says “no” to another date to avoid looking desperate.
14. You introduce him to your parents too early.
Most guys want to get to know a girl for a while before she shares him with her parents. Meeting the parents carries a lot of weight and gives the guy the impression that you want to start seriously dating—even though he might not want to commit to anything yet.
15. You overshare online about him.
It’s not uncommon for people to share their lives online these days, and if you tend to share a lot of your life online, you might be tempted to share about the last few dates you’ve gone on. Just make sure that you don’t divulge too much about your date; otherwise, they might call it quits on you. In addition to looking desperate, they might also be more private of a person than you and you should respect that.
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