For many couples, marriage is the next logical step after dating for a period of time. It’s a decision to share your life together, a melding of two lives into one. Women tend to go into marriage knowing exactly what they want from their partners, and they’re not shy about letting you know! If you’ve decided to take that leap and say “I do,” make sure you keep saying it, and if you’re wondering what your wife is looking for, read on.
1. To Be a Priority
Women don’t want to be at the bottom of their partner’s list of priorities. They want to know they matter and come first, before work, your friends, your hobbies, even your mother sometimes. As your wife, you should consider her feelings above all else in most situations. It’s not enough to just say it, either. Women learn early on to trust actions over words, so prove that she’s your number one.
2. Mutual Attraction
A relationship without mutual attraction often tends to devolve into friendship, Cosmopolitan warns, or it leads to other issues in a marriage. As couples grow together, there are bound to be noticeable changes, especially after having children or going through a stressful event. However, mutual attraction is about so much more than looks. It’s about adoring the person you’re with inside out.
3. Love
Duh! All marriages happen because of love, right? Mostly, yes, but showing your partner that you love them is a great way to keep them close. We’re not talking grand displays of affection in public because that’s more flash than substance. It’s more about the little things, such as making her coffee exactly the way she likes it or anticipating something needing done before she asks.
4. Intimacy
Intimacy is something so many couples struggle with. If you do, too, you’re not alone. It takes a lot to be intimate with someone beyond lovemaking. Intimacy is being involved in all of those little details, from physical touches — think cuddling on the couch — to sharing an emotional closeness. If you can read your partner’s feelings without having to ask, you’re well on your way. For some people, intimacy doesn’t come easy, and some struggle to let people in at all.
5. A Meeting of the Minds
It makes sense that you would have many things in common with your spouse. After all, there’s a reason you got married. While the saying “opposites attract” is definitely true, if you have different outlooks on child-rearing (should you decide to have children, of course), on saving money, or entirely different values, there’s bound to be a clash at some point. Women tend to be drawn to partners who share, or at the very least are open to, their points of view.
6. Emotional Availability
Being emotionally available means being receptive to sharing your feelings with your partner. That means you’re willing to discuss how you feel and let your partner share their feelings with you, even if it’s not what you want to hear. Being emotionally available also requires a great deal of trust.
7. Respect
We all want respect, but we certainly want it from our partners. In a marriage, there are many ways to show your respect. If you have children, backing your wife up when she puts her foot down is one example. Being considerate of her time is another. Don’t just assume she has time to shine your golf clubs before you hit the course, or that she is okay with you golfing every available weekend. She wants to know that you value her as a whole.
8. Time to Themselves
Self-care is essential to one’s mental health, which is why you should always allow your wife to have a bit of time to herself, and vice versa. It doesn’t matter what she does with this time, whether it’s soaking in a bubble bath with her favorite book and a glass of wine in hand, a trip to the mall to window shop, or a weekend away with her sisters. She will come home feeling refreshed, and that’s a boon to your relationship.
9. A Partner They Can Trust
We all want to know that if we take the leap into marriage that we can trust our partners. Trust is one of the greatest gifts you can bestow on someone, giving them space because you know they’ll come back to you and knowing when they go out, they aren’t compromising your relationship. Once trust is broken, it’s so very hard to build back up, and many marriages end because of this breach.
10. Financial Security
There are two things that married couples often fight over the most: children and money. Financial security is an important aspect of one’s life. It’s the ability to pay your bills, save money, and live comfortably. People want to know that they can pay the bills or go grocery shopping, perhaps pick up a book that’s caught their eye. If finances are tight in your home, there are likely solutions, so talk it out. Which brings us to our next point.
11. Open Lines of Communication
Communication is such a big part of any relationship. As a married couple, you should be able to talk about just about anything, even feelings (we know, we know). Don’t assume your wife can read your body language, if you’re upset, let her know. That’s the key to avoiding a bigger conflict. But also, let her in on your life. Tell her about your day, or about the stunning view you saw on the way home.
12. Shared Household Responsibilities
This one is a biggie. Many of today’s women are independent and can do things on their own, but that doesn’t mean they should have to. Yet, according to Gallup data, women are still doing the majority of housework. Sharing the household responsibilities is a great way to show your wife that you’re just as committed to having a clean, happy home as she is. How you work it out is up to you. Maybe you hate to do the dishes, so you make sure the trash is always taken out, or she loathes folding laundry, so you take up that chore after it’s washed.
13. Praise and Compliments
Women want to know their partners see the good in them! This doesn’t mean you need to shower your wife in praise and compliments all day long. They actually tend to lose their luster if you do so. Rather, save them for those monumental moments such as when she meets a work goal or dresses up for a night out, even if it’s with her girlfriends instead of you.
14. Date Nights
Date nights are so very important. Even after you get married, you should never stop dating your wife. If you have children together, it will likely become more challenging to schedule them, but make it a priority. Date nights are where you can go back to your dating roots and enjoy each other’s time. Set aside the distractions. Leave the phone off — or at the very least to the side if you’re keeping tabs on a babysitter, for example.
15. Romance
You might think this one is a no-brainer, but it’s actually one of the first things to go right out the door. After all, once you’ve married your partner, there’s no need to romance them further, right? Wrong! Scour relationship forums and dating advice sites, and you’ll see just how many women aren’t satisfied in this department. We’re not saying it has to be all romance, all the time, but little thoughts can go a long way to keeping your wife feeling loved.
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