Marriage has been discussed at length over the years, but we’re not interested in the fairytale, wedding dress kind (at least not right now). Instead, for people of faith, it’s important to consider what the Bible, with its ancient wisdom, actually says about this complicated, messy, and sometimes amazing bond. The Bible doesn’t sugarcoat it: marriage is work. However, it also highlights something beautiful, a partnership designed to reflect a greater love.
1. Marriage is God’s idea – it was part of his perfect original design.
Right back in Genesis, God crafts Adam, sees the guy needs a partner, and boom! Eve is created. Marriage isn’t some afterthought or societal construct; the Bible presents it as woven into how we’re supposed to function. This doesn’t mean everyone has to be married, but it shows it’s something God values as a good thing.
2. Marriage is a covenant, not a contract, and that means it’s meant to last.
A contract is all about the fine print: you do this, I do that. But a covenant is a sacred promise, a binding of your whole selves. The Bible uses strong language about divorce, not because God wants us to be miserable, but because breaking that covenant causes deep wounds and is totally out of sync with how marriage was meant to be.
3. The core purpose of marriage is companionship and mutual support.
Remember Adam was lonely? God says, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” We need a partner, someone to truly know us and stand with us through life’s ups and downs. Marriage is about building each other up, not just fulfilling a romantic checklist or popping out babies. That companionship is meant to be a source of strength and joy.
4. Marriage is a picture of something even bigger – Christ’s love for the church.
Okay, this gets a little theological, but stick with me. The Bible describes the love Christ has for his people (the church) as like a groom’s love for his bride. It’s that kind of self-sacrificing, never-giving-up, full devotion. That’s the bar set for marriage, which is honestly pretty intimidating! But it also gives marriage a greater purpose beyond two people being happy together.
5. Leave and cleave – marriage means creating a new family unit.
Those words “leave and cleave” get tossed around at weddings, but what do they really mean? It’s about prioritizing your spouse. Your parents and siblings are still important, but your primary loyalty is to your partner. You’re building something new together, and that requires putting your marriage before other relationships sometimes.
6. Marriage involves becoming “one flesh,” which is both physical and way deeper.
Obviously, this refers to sex, and the Bible celebrates that within marriage. But “one flesh” is also about merging your lives – finances, decisions, dreams. It’s being so open with each other that you feel like one unit, even while maintaining your individuality. That level of intimacy isn’t instant – it’s built through years of trust and shared experiences.
7. Healthy marriages have specific roles for husbands and wives.
Okay, buckle up, this can get controversial. The Bible says wives are meant to submit to their husbands, and husbands are to lead with sacrificial, Christ-like love. That word “submit” gives people hives, but in biblical context, it’s not about blind obedience or being less than. It means respecting your husband’s leadership while also using your own gifts. And husbands? Your “headship” isn’t about being a boss, but putting your wife’s needs on par with your own. No one gets to slack off here!
8. Marriage is not easy, and the Bible doesn’t pretend otherwise.
There’s that whole “for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health” part, right? The Bible is full of flawed marriages, yet even then, there’s an emphasis on forgiveness, reconciliation, and fighting for your covenant. Marriage is going to test you, and it requires humility and a lot of grace from both partners.
9. A successful marriage requires open and honest communication.
You can’t build intimacy whether you’re hiding your true feelings or avoiding conflict. The Bible encourages couples to speak the truth in love to each other, listen attentively, and seek to understand their partner’s perspective. Holding on to resentments and refusing to communicate poisons the relationship over time.
10. Marriage is a place to learn selflessness.
The world says it’s all about “me.” But a strong, healthy marriage teaches you to put someone else’s needs ahead of your own. This isn’t about losing your identity or becoming a doormat! It’s about small sacrifices, choosing their joy over always getting your own way, and realizing that a marriage thrives when you’re both invested in giving more than you’re getting.
11. Forgiveness is essential for any marriage to last.
We all mess up. You’ll hurt your spouse, and they’ll hurt you, sometimes deeply. If you want your marriage to last, you have to be willing to truly forgive. Note: forgiveness is a choice, not just a feeling. It doesn’t mean pretending the hurt didn’t happen or sweeping things under the rug, and sometimes requires outside help. But it’s about choosing to release the bitterness and offer a fresh start instead.
12. Physical intimacy is a gift within marriage, meant to be both pleasurable and unifying.
Contrary to its prudish reputation, the Bible doesn’t shy away from celebrating the physical side of marriage. Physical intimacy is designed to be a source of profound joy and connection, but it’s reserved for marriage. This is about more than rules – it’s about protecting that intimacy for the unique covenant it’s designed for.
13. Marriage takes work, and that means being intentional.
You don’t magically have a perfect marriage the moment you say “I do.” The Bible is full of wisdom about how to behave as good husbands and wives – this stuff wasn’t meant to be figured out intuitively! Making time for each other, learning each other’s love languages, going on dates, never stop pursuing each other – that’s how love stays alive.
14. Comparing your marriage to others is a recipe for misery.
Social media makes this one tough. Everyone’s posting their perfect couple pics, and it’s easy to feel inadequate. Remember, that’s the highlight reel, not real life. Every marriage has its struggles, and comparison will only make you feel worse. Focus on building your own strong marriage instead of measuring it against others.
15. Outsiders should not interfere in your marriage.
Venting to your mom or best friend is natural, but there’s a fine line between getting support and inviting outside drama. The Bible is clear – your primary loyalty is to your spouse, and badmouthing them (even to close family) erodes the foundation of your marriage. Be wise about who you confide in, and always aim to solve problems with your spouse, not create factions.
16. Couples should strive to be equally yoked – on the same page spiritually.
This means sharing core values and beliefs about God, faith, and how that shapes your life choices. It can work if one person is religious and the other isn’t, but that’s a major area where conflict arises easily. The Bible encourages finding a partner who shares your spiritual walk, so you can support and encourage each other’s faith journey.
17. Marriage thrives in community.
You’re not meant to do this alone! Surrounding yourself with older couples you admire, seeking godly counsel during tough times, or being part of a couples’ group can be lifelines. We need people to encourage us, hold us accountable, and remind us of the bigger picture when marriage gets rocky.
18. Marriage is a reflection of your own relationship with God.
How you view God will impact how you view marriage. If you see God as harsh and judgmental, that might leak into your relationship with your spouse. But if you believe in God’s grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love, that’s what you’ll strive for within your marriage as well. Growing in your own spiritual life ultimately makes you a better partner.
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