Feel like you’ve lost the romance in your relationship? You’re not alone. All partnerships require nurturing and even the most passionate ones can lose a little spark due to routines and responsibilities of life. But rekindling your romance is way easier than you think—here are some things you can do to bring it back.
1. Write your partner a love letter
In a world of texting and DM’ing, the art of the handwritten letter has gone almost extinct. Amp up the romance by pretending phones don’t exist—pour your heart out on paper, express your love and appreciation, and remind your partner why you fell for them in the first place.
2. Celebrate the not-so-important dates
Who says you have to wait for anniversaries or birthdays to show your partner that you care? No one! That’s why you should flip the script and start celebrating non-traditional or seemingly unimportant milestones. Whether that’s finally cleaning out the garage after putting it off for years or upgrading to the fancy couch you two always wanted, making the mundane feel exciting can certainly bring back the romance.
3. Shift from complaining to complimenting
Plenty of couples have gotten stuck in the rut where all they do is complain. Whether that’s about a chore that wasn’t done or something else, it can be exhausting. Here’s a trick to try: every time you feel like you want to criticize or complain about something your partner is doing, find a compliment to give them. Let them know you appreciate and notice their unique traits.
4. Recreate your first date
Remember how amazing your first date was? Why not recreate it? Whether it’s making a reservation at the same restaurant or setting up your home to mimic the original location, taking a trip to the past can help remind both you and your partner how much you love each other.
5. Create tech-free zones
With constant notifications and pings, it’s no wonder you’re both distracted! Bring your attention back to each other by creating phone, TV, and computer-free zones in your home. That can look like putting your phones down during meals or trading bedtime TV for a deep conversation—whatever it is, reconnecting can re-spark the romance.
6. Go on a spontaneous adventure
When was the last time you took your partner to do something on a whim? It’s probably been a while. We get it—responsibilities can get in the way of the fun stuff but making time for joy is a big part of keeping the romance alive. Take a weekend trip, make your partner a picnic in the park, or head to the beach and watch the romance unfold.
7. Be a little flirty
Flirting isn’t just for when you’re dating, it’s for always. Bring back that playful banter you had in the early days of your relationship—tease your partner playfully, send a flirty text while they’re at work, or leave a little note in their jacket. A little lightheartedness keeps things exciting and reminds your partner that you still want them.
8. Explore your city together
When you’ve been with each other for a long time, it can be hard to cultivate new experiences together. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. A good way to do that is by pretending to be tourists in your own city. Maybe you’ve never really learned about the history or taken the time to discover hidden gems together, either way, doing something new is sure to reignite the spark.
9. Make physical touch more of a priority
Being physically intimate doesn’t have to stay in the bedroom. There are plenty of ways to express your affection physically—like holding hands on walks together, giving your partner a foot rub while you watch your show, or simply hugging them from behind just because you feel like it. These seemingly small gestures remind your person that you love them.
10. Learn something new together
Learning a new skill together is a great way to bond with your partner. Maybe that’s taking a cooking class, learning a new language, or joining a co-ed volleyball team—whatever you decide, encouraging new skills keeps the relationship exciting, stimulates conversation, and creates a sense of accomplishment and togetherness.
11. Go through old photos
Revisiting the early days of your relationship can definitely bring on the romance. Instead of watching a movie like you always do, why not scroll through the hundreds of pictures you have stored on your computer? Want to take the romance one step further? Get the pictures printed and put them in a physical photo album for you and your partner to flip through together.
12. Get goofy
Turn on some music and dance around in the kitchen, play an old board game, or simply just let loose and be silly! Besides, if you can’t be weird with your partner who can you be weird with? This can help to remind both of you how authentic you can be around each other.
13. Plan a trip together
It’s probably been a bit since you last took a vacation. Set aside a Sunday and brainstorm with your partner a romantic place to jet set to. It doesn’t have to be super fancy or expensive, just somewhere that you both love or want to go. The process of simply planning out a week of togetherness can help the romance come out of hiding.
14. Ditch your routine
Always have sushi on Sundays? Or maybe Tuesdays are your binge-watch days? Whatever day of the week you have designated to a certain activity, switch it up! We can often get complacent in the comfortable which is not a conducive environment for romance. Make space for the element of surprise and do something that breaks free of the monotony.
15. Try a new cuisine together
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Whether you and your partner are foodies or just enjoy eating meals together, food is a powerful connector. Spice up your culinary lives by trying a new recipe at home or venturing out to taste-test a new type of cuisine. Who knows? Maybe some of the foods you try are also aphrodisiacs.
16. Focus on all of the good
A great way to bring the positive to the forefront of a relationship is by making a gratitude jar. Here’s the idea: place a jar in a central location of your home with a notepad and pen next to it. Make it a point to write down one thing every day about your partner that you’re grateful for and have them do the same for you. Whenever you need a little boost, open the jar and read the notes together. Cute, right?
17. Get creative together
Express yourselves! You could write a song together (even if you’re not musical), put on a painting night, or build something from scratch. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece, the goal is to have fun and show your feelings for each other in a unique and innovative way. This process can surprisingly pump up the romance.
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