Change is scary for a lot of people — even good change! Our brains are naturally wired to see the potential downsides, but sometimes, we get so focused on the “what ifs” that we become paralyzed, unable to move forward even when we know we need to. Here are some of the ways your fear of change might be sabotaging your growth.
1. You stay in unfulfilling situations because they’re familiar, even if they’re also awful.
Whether it’s a job you hate or a toxic relationship, the devil you know feels easier than taking a risk on the unknown. But “comfortable misery” is still misery. As Verywell Mind points out, change might be difficult, but staying stuck indefinitely guarantees zero progress.
2. “Someday” is your favorite word.
“Someday I’ll start that business.” “Someday I’ll go back to school.” “Someday…” Someday never comes. Change requires action in the present, even small steps. Stop daydreaming and start doing, even imperfectly. You might be surprised at just how much progress you can make.
3. You cling to the fantasy of your “perfect plan.”
Waiting until every single detail is sorted before making a move is a recipe for staying stuck. Life is unpredictable, and no one really ever knows what’s just around the corner. Instead of obsessing over the perfect plan, focus on taking a flexible first step, then adjusting as you go.
4. You’re haunted by past failures.
Mistakes happen! But if they make you gun-shy about any new endeavor, you’ll miss out on good stuff. Reframe past failures as learning experiences. What did you gain that you can apply to the next attempt?
5. You focus on the negative “what ifs” more than the exciting “what ifs.”
Our brains do this to protect us, but it backfires! Yes, things might go wrong. But what if they go amazingly right? Spend time visualizing the positive outcomes of change, making them feel as real as the fear.
6. You see change as all or nothing.
Quitting a job to travel the world is a drastic change, sure. But change exists on a spectrum. Smaller shifts – a new class, redecorating one room – build confidence and make bigger leaps feel less terrifying.
7. You’re jealous of people who embrace change while feeling stuck yourself.
Comparison is the thief of joy, and this is especially true when it comes to bravery. You only see their highlight reel, not the internal struggle they overcame. Focus on your own growth journey, not anyone else’s.
8. You underestimate your own resilience.
Humans are adaptable creatures! You survived things you never thought you could. Change may be messy, but you have the strength to ride it out. Remind yourself of what you’ve overcome when the fear gets loud.
9. You idealize the past, seeing it as simpler and better than the uncertain present.
Nostalgia is a powerful thing, National Geographic admits, but it often edits out the bad parts. The past wasn’t perfect, just familiar. Change offers the chance to build a present you’ll genuinely look back on with fondness, instead of clinging to a sanitized version of a reality that may not have been that great to begin with.
10. Your identity feels too wrapped up in what you do, not who you are.
Your job title, marital status, where you live… those are external things. Change can threaten those, making your sense of self wobble. Growth comes from building an inner identity that stays solid, regardless of outward shifts.
11. You’re a chronic overthinker, analyzing endlessly instead of making a move.
There’s a difference between thoughtful planning and getting stuck in analysis paralysis. At some point, you have to trust your gut and take that first step. Action breaks the cycle of overthinking far better than any “what if” spiral ever will.
12. You fear regretting the change even more than you fear things staying the same.
We naturally avoid risk for a reason, but the irony is, staying stuck often leads to its own kind of deep regret. Regret over chances not taken haunts longer than mistakes made in the pursuit of something better.
13. You focus heavily on what you might lose, rather than all you could gain.
Change often involves some kind of loss – an old routine, a sense of security. It’s valid to acknowledge that. But don’t let it overshadow the potential upsides! Make a list of all the amazing possibilities change could open up.
14. You let other people’s opinions dictate your choices.
Family, friends, even society at large sends messages about what you “should” do. Breaking free of that takes courage. Ultimately, it’s your life to live, and change that makes you happy is the only kind that matters.
15. You have a perfectionist streak, and worry the change won’t turn out “good enough.”
Setting high standards is awesome, but perfectionism kills progress. Done is better than perfect. Change can always be adjusted and improved upon as you go. Waiting for the flawless plan means never starting at all.
16. You mistake temporary discomfort for a sign you’re on the wrong path.
Growth is almost always uncomfortable at first! It’s like sore muscles after a new workout. Don’t assume that initial discomfort means you need to stop. Often, pushing through it is where the real transformation happens.
17. You lack trust in yourself.
Deep down, you worry you can’t handle it if the change doesn’t work out. This lack of self-trust is insidious. Start building it with small victories: accomplishing something you’ve been putting off, trying a totally new thing even if you’re scared… this strengthens those “I can do this” muscles.
18. You don’t seek out a support system during periods of change.
Trying to do everything alone is a recipe for burnout. Find people who believe in you – friends, a therapist, an online community. Knowing you’re not alone makes change feel less scary and helps you navigate those inevitable bumps in the road.
