There are just some things that every woman should know about her husband. Sure, every man is unique but there are common threads that you can pick up on when you’re trying to understand your partner. Here are the 18 things you should be looking out for.
1. What’s In His Bank Account
Let’s talk about money. No matter how you deal with finances in your relationship, understanding where your husband’s money situation stands is vital. Being kept in the loop provides more transparency, trust, stability, and security in your marriage. And who doesn’t want that?
2. What He Wants as a Gift
No one wants a gift that they’re never going to use (like that thoughtful but hideous sweater your mother-in-law got you last Christmas). Besides, part of knowing him is knowing his favorite things and what would make him happy upon unwrapping. This also helps to avoid those awkward times when you can tell your spouse is less-than-pleased with your choice of present.
3. His Health History
This is important for so many reasons. First, knowing your husband’s health history is crucial in case there is ever an emergency or you have to make decisions on his behalf. But beyond times of crisis, knowing this history empowers you to support his well-being in a proactive way. You want to spend the rest of your life together, let’s make it a long one, shall we?
4. When He Wants to Retire
You have to know when to get him that gold watch, right? Kidding. Being aware of when your husband is ready to leave his career for greener pastures is a big one. Not only does it allow you to align your goals and aspirations for the future, but knowing the timeline can help both of you plan financially and emotionally for such a huge and significant life transition.
5. Any Childhood Traumas
As we’re sure you’ve heard, childhood experiences play one of, if not the most, important parts in shaping a person. Being able to understand what your husband has been through, how he thinks, and the reasons behind his behavior helps you to be a more empathetic and supportive spouse. It also encourages your husband to continue to be open when it comes to his past.
6. His Favorite Childhood Memories
As we said, childhood shapes a person! But that doesn’t mean you only need to focus on the traumatic stuff, you can turn to the happy stuff, too! Understanding the fun and lighthearted experiences that not only make his inner child sing but shaped your husband into the person he is today, can inject fun and levity into your marriage.
7. What His Body Language Means
Sure, there are guidelines for body language in general, but it varies from person to person. Knowing your person’s specific tells is a huge asset when it comes to communication and avoiding conflict in your marriage. Maybe he hunches his shoulders when you’re sad because it makes him sad or maybe he crosses his arms when you say something hurtful—whatever it is, understanding his non-verbal cues can deepen your connection.
8. What Triggers Him
If you’ve ever triggered a partner before, you know how bad it feels. One second everything’s fine and the next, your partner completely shuts down. In other words: not fun. That’s why it’s so important to know those small and big things that cause him stress or serious emotional reactions. Knowing what makes him feel unsafe enables you to be his safe space and create a supportive environment that minimizes potential stressors.
9. His Love Language
Truly, life and relationships are so much easier when you can get a good sense of where the other person is coming from, especially with your spouse. If you don’t know what love languages are, they’re basically the key to how an individual expresses their love and affection and how they want to receive those things, too. It could be words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, or receiving gifts—whatever it is, knowing your husband’s love language is the key to strengthening your bond.
10. How to Address His Complicated Family Relationships
We don’t have to tell you that complicated family dynamics are tough. They have a particular way of getting under your spouse’s skin and that affects his emotional well-being, which then affects your relationship. That’s why you have to know how to approach these discussions (with empathy and openness) so you can work together to navigate the challenges that come up. After all, when you marry them, you marry their family, too.
11. His Favorite Way to Unwind
You know how when you’ve had a really long day, your husband just knows to greet you at the door with a kiss and a glass of wine? Feels good, doesn’t it? Recognizing and respecting your partner’s preferred methods of relaxation are key to creating a comfortable and balanced environment. Plus, it can minimize conflict for example, if you know that before you talk about your days, he needs a little chill time you can give him that without taking it personally.
12. How Much He Loves You
The truth is, sometimes marriages become monotonous. Not in a bad way, necessarily, it’s just that when you get comfortable and used to a certain way of living, every day might not feel like your honeymoon did. But that doesn’t mean you love your husband any less or he loves you any less. Sure, he might express it in different ways, but whether it’s subtle acts or more obvious ones, trust that his love for you runs deep.
13. How to Support Him During Challenging Times
When your husband is really going through it, you’re going to want to be his main source of strength and support. You’re his best friend, his sounding board, and his co-problem solver. It’s important that you actively listen to what he needs, give him encouragement and advice, and stand by him no matter what he’s dealing with.
14. What Kind of Parent He Wants to Be
You probably covered most of the basics before you got married, but as you get closer to parenthood or are in the midst of raising a family, it’s important to constantly check in about your approach. You’re a united front, after all, and you need to align on your parenting philosophies and goals when it comes to raising children. Understanding where he’s coming from allows you to work together as a team and create the best environment possible for your family.
15. His Deepest Secrets
If your husband can’t trust you with his deepest, darkest secrets, then who can he trust ’em with? You’re his safe space and his comfort, it’s vital that you let him know that you’re with him no matter what and his secret thoughts, feelings, and desires stay between you and him. Respect and privacy are huge foundations in a marriage and being able to keep things quiet is paramount.
16. How He Copes with Stress
Stress is sneaky and it affects everyone in different ways. Because of that, every individual has their own unique ways of coping with and managing that stress. Maybe for your husband, it’s through exercise, his video games, his hobbies—however he copes, it’s important for you to understand so you can provide the right support when it’s needed.
17. How He Likes to Handle Conflict
One of the biggest problems in marriages is when each person in the couple fights differently and can’t understand the other’s approach. Maybe he’s more into direct communication and you need some time to cool off, whatever your approaches, it’s important that you communicate and compromise so you can resolve any conflicts constructively.
18. His Role Models
Most people get inspired by seeing other people live out their dreams. If your husband has someone he looks up to, it’s important to know that. Why? This gives you another way to connect with him, sheds more light on what he wants out of life, and gives you the opportunity to help him get there. A win-win.
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