Most narcissists are major control freaks.
When they lose that control, they quickly start to spiral and will do anything and everything they can to regain the upper hand. One of their most common tactics to do just that is to lie their pants off. Here are some of the most common BS sentences you’ll hear come out of their mouths.
1. “You can’t do anything right.”
When narcissists start to lose control, they’ll try to turn the tables by making you doubt yourself. They’ll tell you that you can’t do anything right and try to make you feel like you need them. They want to make you feel worthless so that you turn to them for love.
2. “We want the same things.”
Narcissists will try to manipulate you by telling you that you want the same things but just have different approaches. They’ll do this to justify bad behavior and get you back on their side. As Psychology Today explains, narcissists are great at identifying your desires and weaknesses and using them against you.
3. “You’re making a mistake.”
One of the tactics that narcissists will use to undermine their victims is to reaffirm their superiority by gaslighting. They’ll deny your version of events and try to make you sound like you don’t know what you’re talking about. They’ll make you doubt your perception of things and when you start to feel self-doubt, they’ll jump in to bring you back into their web.
4. “They’re being unreasonable, not me.”
Narcissists are usually very intelligent, and they can tell when they’re losing ground in a relationship. So, they’ll prepare for the aftermath by launching smear campaigns on their victims. They’ll spread lies to make it look like you’re the problem to the people around you. That way if you try to expose their behavior they’ll just assume you’re being spiteful.
5. “I’ll change, I promise.”
Narcissists love to make fake promises about change. They have no intention of changing, but they’ll keep you on a string by making this promise over and over again. They might change for a bit, but once they feel like they’re back in control, they’ll go back to their old ways.
6. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Narcissists don’t really care about other people. They care about controlling them, but they don’t think about relationships in the same way most people do. So, when they say, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” they’re lying. They enjoy controlling you, but if they cut you out of their life, they wouldn’t shed a tear or think about you the next day at all.
7. “I never lie, why would I start now.”
Gaslighting is a powerful tool for narcissists. They’ll try to convince you that they never lie and never have lied. They’ll make excuses for things you bring up as lies they’ve told and explain that they misunderstood the situation in some way. They do this to keep your trust and make sure you believe everything they say.
8. “This for us.”
When a narcissist does something wrong, they’ll try to act noble or push the blame onto you by saying it’s for both of you. However, this is just an excuse to do whatever they want.
9. “I’m the victim, not you.”
When narcissists start to lose control, they’ll try to turn things around by playing the victim. When you call them out for something, they’ll say they only do it because you do certain things. They’ll make you feel guilty and snatch back control.
10. “It’s not my fault.”
A narcissist’s first move is to deny any wrongdoing. If that doesn’t work, they’ll try to say it wasn’t as bad as you’re saying. If it was, they’ll say it’s not their fault. They use jumps in logic to shift the blame and make you feel bad for getting bad at them.
11. “No one will love and understand you like me.”
Everyone can be loved by lots of people, but narcissists will try to deny that possibility. They’ll say that the only person that can love and accept you the way you are is them. They do this to make it harder for you to imagine a life without them.
12. “That didn’t happen.”
When narcissists are caught in a lie, they’ll outright deny things happening. They’ll plant their feet and lie about events you are nearly certain happened. However, they’ll be so firm in their stance that you’ll start to believe them.
13. “Things will get better, I promise.”
Narcissists use promises to manipulate people to do what they want. When they’ve been caught in a web of lies, they’ll promise to be better in the future, and they will, for a little while. However, once they feel like they have control again, they’ll go back to their old habit.
14. “You’re lying.”
Narcissists are masters of projection, Psych Central notes, so they’ll often call the people around them liars. They know that they lie all the time, so they assume everyone else does the same thing. Often, they’ll wait until you bring up their misdeeds to paint you as a liar to try to change the topic of conversation.
15. “I miss you so much.”
If you manage to break away from a narcissist, they’ll try to pull on your heartstrings by telling you they miss you. You shouldn’t believe them because the only thing they miss is controlling you.
16. “I used to be like that, but I’ve changed.”
When you accuse a narcissist of doing certain things in their past, they might not outright deny it. They might take a different approach where they admit to wrongdoing, but they’ll say they’ve changed. This is a more advanced tactic from narcissists because it feigns taking responsibility when really they haven’t changed at all.
17. “I’m truly sorry.”
When narcissists know they’ve been caught, they’ll apologize profusely. They’ll say anything they can to make you think they’re remorseful for what they did or said. They aren’t really sorry, they’re only sorry they got caught.
18. “I was just kidding.”
When a narcissist says something bad and you call them out for it, they might try to excuse themselves by saying it was a joke. They also love to use the excuse of saying they were drinking and they didn’t mean what they said.
