We all have moments of self-doubt, but for some people, insecurity is a constant companion.
It can affect how we interact with people, how we view ourselves, and even how we behave when we’re all alone. If you’ve ever wondered what goes on in the minds of insecure people when they’re by themselves, here are some of the curious things they might do.
1. They overanalyze past conversations and interactions.
That seemingly harmless comment you made at lunch last week? An insecure person might replay it over and over in their head, dissecting every word and inflection, wondering if they said something wrong or offensive. They might even create elaborate scenarios in their minds, imagining all the ways they could have handled the situation differently. It’s a mental hamster wheel of worry and self-doubt.
2. They practice potential conversations in front of the mirror.
Whether it’s a job interview, a first date, or even a casual chat with a friend, insecure people often rehearse conversations in front of the mirror. They try out different responses, practice their facial expressions, and work on their delivery. They want to make sure they come across as confident and capable, even if they don’t feel that way on the inside.
3. They meticulously curate their social media presence.
Every post, every caption, every filter is carefully chosen to present a perfect image to the world. Insecure people might spend hours crafting the perfect selfie or agonizing over the right emoji to use. They want to project an image of success, happiness, and popularity, even if it’s not entirely accurate, therapist Danielle Wayne explains. They might even compare themselves to the people they see online, feeling jealous or inadequate when they see other people’s seemingly perfect lives.
4. They try on different outfits but never feel satisfied.
Choosing an outfit can be a battleground for insecure people. They might try on countless combinations, agonizing over every detail. Does this make me look fat? Does this color clash with my skin tone? Does this outfit make me look too old/young/trendy/boring? They might even change multiple times before leaving the house, never quite feeling like they’ve got it right.
5. They constantly check their reflection in mirrors and windows.
Insecure people are often hyper-aware of their appearance. They might find themselves checking their reflection in every mirror, window, or reflective surface they pass by. They might adjust their hair, check for blemishes, or smooth out their clothes. It’s a way to reassure themselves that they look presentable and put-together, even if it’s just for their own peace of mind.
6. They avoid making eye contact with themselves in the mirror.
While some insecure people might constantly check their reflection, other people avoid it altogether. They might look away when they pass by a mirror or quickly avert their gaze when they catch their own eye. It’s a way to avoid confronting their insecurities and self-doubt. They might not like what they see, or they might be afraid of what their reflection might reveal about their inner turmoil.
7. They create elaborate fantasies about their ideal life.
In the privacy of their own minds, insecure people might escape into elaborate fantasies about their ideal life. They might imagine themselves being successful, popular, and admired by all. They might envision themselves in loving relationships or achieving their wildest dreams. These fantasies can be a source of comfort and escape, but they can also be a distraction from the reality of their lives and the challenges they need to face.
8. They engage in negative self-talk and self-criticism.
Insecure people are often their own worst critics. They have an inner voice that constantly puts them down, highlighting their flaws and shortcomings. They might tell themselves they’re not good enough, smart enough, or attractive enough. This negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging, destroying their self-esteem and making it harder to believe in themselves.
9. They stalk people on social media.
Insecure people might find themselves scrolling through the profiles of ex-partners, former friends, or even people they barely know. They might obsess over photos, comments, and relationship statuses, looking for any sign of how they measure up. This can lead to feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, and even depression. It’s a destructive habit that fuels their insecurities rather than alleviating them.
10. They pick at perceived flaws in their appearance.
A small blemish, a stray hair, a perceived wrinkle – these can become magnified in the eyes of an insecure person. They might spend hours in front of the mirror, scrutinizing their every feature and finding fault with their appearance. They might pick at their skin, try to hide perceived flaws with makeup, or even resort to cosmetic procedures in an attempt to feel better about themselves.
11. They engage in excessive self-grooming rituals.
Insecure people might develop elaborate self-grooming rituals in an attempt to feel more confident and put-together. They might spend hours styling their hair, applying makeup, or meticulously grooming their nails. While it’s important to take care of yourself, excessive grooming can become a compulsion, a way to mask deeper insecurities and anxieties.
12. They hoard sentimental items.
Insecure people might hold onto sentimental items like old love letters, concert tickets, or childhood toys. These objects might serve as reminders of happier times or past relationships. They might cling to these items for comfort or as a way to avoid letting go of the past. However, this can become a form of emotional hoarding, HuffPost explains, preventing them from moving forward and creating new memories.
13. They indulge in comfort food and unhealthy habits.
When feeling down or insecure, it’s easy to turn to comfort food or unhealthy habits for a temporary sense of relief. They might binge on sugary snacks, order takeout, or skip their workouts. While these indulgences might provide a fleeting moment of pleasure, they ultimately contribute to negative feelings and a cycle of self-sabotage.
14. They binge-watch TV shows or movies to escape reality.
Escaping into the world of fictional characters and storylines can be a temporary distraction from real-life worries and insecurities. Insecure people might find themselves binge-watching TV shows or movies for hours on end, losing themselves in the drama and excitement. While it’s okay to enjoy a good story, using entertainment as a constant escape can prevent them from addressing their underlying issues.
15. They create worst-case scenarios in their minds.
Insecure people have a tendency to catastrophize, imagining the worst possible outcome in any given situation. They might worry about losing their job, their relationship, or their health. They might play out worst-case scenarios in their minds, leading to anxiety, stress, and sleepless nights. It’s important to remember that most of these fears are unfounded and that focusing on the present can help them stay grounded and avoid unnecessary worry.
16. They avoid taking risks or trying new things.
Fear of failure and rejection can hold insecure people back from pursuing their goals and dreams. They might avoid taking risks, sticking to familiar routines and avoiding anything that might challenge them or put them outside their comfort zone. This can lead to missed opportunities and a feeling of stagnation. It’s important to remember that taking risks is a part of life, and that even failure can be a valuable learning experience.
