Friendships are meant to be supportive, fun, and fulfilling. But sometimes, what starts as a beautiful bond can turn sour, leaving you feeling drained and unhappy. Toxic friendships can be tricky to identify, as they often creep up on us gradually. However, the sooner you recognize the signs, the sooner you can get away and hopefully escape too much damage.
1. You feel drained after spending time with them.
Instead of feeling energized and uplifted after hanging out with your friend, you consistently feel exhausted, stressed, or emotionally drained. This could be a sign that the relationship is no longer serving you, and it’s important to listen to your intuition.
2. They constantly criticize or put you down.
A true friend will offer constructive criticism when needed, but it should always come from a place of love and support. If your friend constantly puts you down, makes fun of your choices, or belittles your accomplishments, it’s a major red flag, Psych Central warns.
3. They’re always competing with you.
A healthy friendship involves celebrating each other’s successes and supporting each other through challenges. If your friend is always trying to one-up you, compare themselves to you, or make you feel inadequate, it’s a sign of a toxic dynamic.
4. They’re unreliable and flaky.
Everyone cancels plans sometimes, but if your friend consistently bails on you, shows up late, or forgets important dates, it can be a sign that they don’t value your time or prioritize your friendship.
5. They gossip about you behind your back.
Trust is the foundation of any healthy friendship. If you find out that your friend has been talking negatively about you behind your back, it’s a major breach of trust and a sign that the relationship may be toxic.
6. They make you feel guilty or obligated.
A true friend will respect your boundaries and never make you feel guilty for saying no or prioritizing your own needs. If your friend uses guilt trips, emotional manipulation, or passive-aggressive tactics to get their way, it’s a red flag.
7. They’re only there for you when it’s convenient for them.
A true friend is there for you through thick and thin, not just when it’s convenient or beneficial for them. If your friend only reaches out when they need something or disappears when you need support, it’s a sign that the relationship is one-sided.
8. They dismiss your feelings or concerns.
A good friend will listen to your worries, validate your feelings, and offer support. If your friend brushes off your concerns, minimizes your problems, or makes you feel like your emotions are invalid, it’s a sign of a lack of empathy and a toxic dynamic.
9. The relationship feels one-sided.
Friendships should involve a balance of give and take. If you feel like you’re always the one initiating plans, offering support, or making compromises, while your friend rarely reciprocates, it’s a sign that the relationship is unbalanced and potentially toxic.
10. They try to control your life or choices.
A true friend will respect your autonomy and support your decisions, even if they don’t always agree with them. If your friend tries to dictate who you spend time with, what you wear, or what you believe in, it’s a sign of a controlling and toxic dynamic.
11. You walk on eggshells around them.
Do you feel like you have to constantly censor yourself, watch what you say, or tiptoe around your friend’s moods to avoid conflict? This feeling of unease and anxiety is a major red flag and a sign that the relationship is no longer healthy.
12. They’re constantly involved in drama.
While everyone goes through ups and downs, if your friend is constantly embroiled in drama, conflict, or negative situations, it can be emotionally draining and exhausting to be around them. It’s important to set boundaries and protect yourself from their negativity.
13. They make you feel bad about yourself.
A true friend will build you up, encourage you, and make you feel good about yourself. If your friend consistently makes you feel insecure, self-conscious, or inadequate, it’s a sign of a toxic relationship.
14. They don’t respect your boundaries.
Everyone has different boundaries and comfort levels. A good friend will respect your boundaries, whether it’s saying no to a request, needing some alone time, or having certain topics you don’t want to discuss. If your friend consistently disregards your boundaries, it’s a sign of disrespect and a toxic dynamic.
15. They’re jealous or envious of your other relationships.
As Psychology Today points out, a healthy friendship involves supporting each other’s connections and celebrating each other’s happiness. If your friend becomes jealous or possessive when you spend time with other people or make new friends, it’s a sign of insecurity and a toxic dynamic.
16. You feel like you can’t be yourself around them.
A true friend will love and accept you for who you are, flaws and all. If you feel like you have to put on a facade, hide your true feelings, or pretend to be someone you’re not to please your friend, it’s a sign that the relationship is no longer authentic or fulfilling.
