We’d all like to believe that our relationships are great. I’m sure you’ve said, “Yes, of course I have a healthy relationship with my partner,” or “Yes, of course, we support one another’s dreams,” at some point. But…do you really? Here are 16 signs that you are truly in a healthy, supportive relationship:
1. Your division of labor is on point.
You divide labor based on talents, time, and preferences. Gender and tradition don’t get a say in who washes the dishes. Chores are divided and conquered to leave time for more important things—like each other!
2. You’re both flexible.
You understand that sometimes, having to get to work early is a reality. Sometimes your partner needs quiet after a long day. So you adapt. Get up a little earlier to make sure they have their coffee ready. You make it a point to not watch your YouTube videos on TV when they get home. You know this is just part of life and they’re worth the extra work!
3. You manage your time together.
You don’t plan every moment around each other, but you take your relationship into consideration. You try to keep a lunch hour reserved for chips and queso together. If you’ve had other social engagements every other night of the week, you set aside a night to be home with your significant other. Your lives don’t revolve around one another, but time together matters to both of you—so you make it a priority!
4. You share a growth mindset.
You both want to go somewhere, to do something with your life. Growth matters to both of you. One partner isn’t complacent, content in mediocrity, and happy to hold back the other. Instead, you want to grow— individually and together—and that is reflected in your relationship. You share a vital growth mindset, and you probably have a vision board and “5-Year Plan” date nights. Go, you!
5. You actively support each other.
You don’t just say “Oh, of course I support you, babe. You do you.” No, you actively support your partner. You pick up the slack in the laundry when she’s worked 48 hours straight at her residency. You keep the coffee brewing while he pores over his master’s thesis. You’re truly there for one another, actually helping one another to succeed!
6. You feel safe to grow.
You don’t feel like your partner is going to be intimidated by your success. You know they aren’t insecure, and that they’re truly proud of you and your achievements. In no way do you feel as though you have to make yourself small on their behalf.
7. You have healthy boundaries.
Not only that but the boundaries are respected! You don’t infringe on one another’s time, emotional needs, or any other personal boundaries set. If your partner works with kids and is exhausted at the end of the day, you don’t try to romance her by laying the rose petals on the bed as she’s pulling into the driveway. Common sense and healthy boundaries are key!
8. You have a life outside of one another (and don’t feel bad about it).
This isn’t just limited to work! You don’t feel bad about taking a night for guac and margaritas with the girls, and he knows he’s free to say yes to a round of golf most Saturday mornings. You have your shelf of books, and your partner has their shelf of craft supplies. This is good and healthy!
9. You celebrate one another.
When you get that promotion, you find flowers on your desk. When your partner makes that sale, their favorite dinner is on the table. You verbally let them know that you are so, SO crazy proud of them! And they do the same for you! You never have to wonder if they’re genuinely happy for you—you know they are!
10. You express appreciation for each other.
This requires intentionality. You definitely appreciate one another, but it’s easy to slip into our daily routines and forget to actually say the words. But in a truly healthy, supportive relationship, both partners take the time to do so, even for the small things. You thank each other for washing dishes, making dinner, etc. You let each other know that you matter!
11. You have fun together!
This is SO important! Planning your self-improvement, respecting boundaries, all that is great and necessary…but you have to have fun in the mix, too! In a healthy relationship, you take the time to enjoy yourselves together! Maybe through a shared hobby, or a regularly scheduled movie night. These fun times refresh your body and mind, and they help remind you why you fell in love in the first place!
12. You tackle challenges as a team effort.
You know that you don’t have to face hard times alone. You know there’s someone right there beside you, cheering you on and supporting you in whatever ways you need. And you do the same for them! There’s no “that sounds like a personal problem” in this type of relationship. You tackle change and uncertainty together, like the power couple you are.
13. You communicate effectively.
You don’t take your bad days out on each other. There are no passive-aggressive comments made about dust on baseboards. You both are mature enough to communicate your hurts and your needs in a kind, respectful way. And you know that your partner still supports you, even if you speak your mind.
14. You prioritize physical affection…but you know it’s not everything.
Of course, physical intimacy is incredibly important. So you prioritize not just the time to do it, but you also prioritize the experience of your partner. But also…you know it’s not everything. You don’t pressure one another in busy, hard seasons. You don’t push boundaries, because the person, and their feelings, are more important to you.
15. You like each other.
Obviously, you love each other. But you also just like each other! You actually enjoy spending time together. You think your partner, as a person, is delightful! You genuinely find one another to be wonderful, funny, incredible people.
16. You respect each other.
It’s easy to like someone without respecting them. But in a healthy, supportive partnership, respect absolutely must be present. Respect means admiring someone based on their qualities and abilities, honoring one another, and not attempting to change one another (Cambridge Dictionary). Respect is a whole other level, and it’s vital in the type of relationship we all want!
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