Although you’re a warm, friendly person your loved ones would describe as a catch, you might be doing little things that are irritating the people you meet. You could be making a bad impression on them without even realizing it (ouch), which is making them not want to see you again. Become more aware of these 16 rude things you could be doing that are putting people off you, so you can change your ways.
1. You spill your life story within five minutes of meeting someone.
While you might be a talkative person who opens up to others easily, it can come across as rude if you dump your life story or recent trauma on people you don’t even know. It can make them feel uncomfortable or assume that you’re someone who lacks boundaries. It’s off-putting because you’re being selfish, giving them all this information about yourself that they didn’t even ask for!
2. You interrupt people constantly and never let them get a word in edgewise.
Having a conversation is like a dance — you both have to take your steps. If you’re dominating the conversation so much that you’re interrupting people all the time or steering topics back to you, it comes across as selfish. You’re so focused on yourself that you’re not considering the other people’s feelings, which is off-putting. No one wants to be talked over — it’s incredibly disrespectful!
3. You don’t make eye contact.
If you keep darting your eyes to other people in your surroundings or the floor during conversation with someone, you come across as rude because you’re not engaging with them directly. It’s like you’re there, but you’re not interested in chatting. It also seems shifty, like you’re not being authentic with them. People will assume you’ve got something to hide, or you’re lying to them.
4. You check your phone during conversation.
It’s always disrespectful to check your phone during conversation, even if it’s a little peek to check if someone’s messaged you. It tells the person that you’ve got something better to do, even if that means looking at social media notifications on your device. They might feel like ending the conversation because you’re not focused on them anyway, so what’s the point? Checking your phone all the time also gives the impression that you’re trying to seem important because you’re so busy or in demand. Ugh.
5. You’re always checking your watch.
Checking your watch during conversation is just as bad as looking at your phone! It gives the person the impression that you’re too worried about something else you have to do, while making them feel guilty for stopping you from doing those tasks. It also feels like you’re hinting at the person to shut up and end the conversation, which can make the vibe uncomfortable.
6. You smoke in people’s space.
Just because you’re in a public area where you’re allowed to smoke, it doesn’t mean that everyone around you wants to inhale your cigarette smoke. It’s rude because you’re exposing others to health risks while creating an uncomfortable environment for them. This is especially the case in enclosed spaces, where the smoke lingers and permeates people’s clothing and belongings.
7. You stand too close to people.
If you don’t know someone, it’s especially rude to invade their personal space. You might lack the self-awareness to maintain a good distance between you, which comes off as rude and can make them extremely uncomfortable. In some cases, standing too close to someone can create a sense of aggression or intimidation, especially if the person feels trapped.
8. You don’t say “please” or “thank you.”
Basic manners go a long way to making people like you, Drake University notes. Simple words like “please” or “thank you” show appreciation and gratitude. If someone does something kind for you, you want to acknowledge their efforts instead of being perceived as entitled. You don’t want to disrespect people by being inconsiderate, so show your thanks, even if you’re shy about it. They’ll see you in a positive light.
9. You nod, but you don’t listen.
When speaking to someone, you might think that nodding is enough to show them that you’re locked into the conversation, but it’s not! If your eyes look blank, the other person will see that you’re zoned out of the chat. They won’t feel like you’re present or paying attention. They might even view you as selfish because you don’t seem to care about other people’s feelings or self-expression.
10. You try too hard to be funny.
Having a good sense of humor can make other people feel drawn to you and enjoy your company, but that doesn’t mean you should brush up on some lame knock-knock jokes or try too hard to turn everything into a witty observation. This screams that you’re desperate to be liked, while disrespecting a conversation’s serious tone. Being too funny tells people that you’re only after a fun time, instead of being interested in fostering a real connection with them.
11. You ask for favors right away.
If you’ve just met someone, it’s rude to ask them for help with something, such as relationship advice or moving out of your apartment. Even if they’re friendly, you haven’t established a foundation of trust with them, so you can come across as entitled and presumptuous. It can also make the other person feel uncomfortable or put on the spot, as they wonder how to get out of having to assist you.
12. You talk on speakerphone in public.
Putting calls on speakerphone so you can chat in public is a no-no. The people around you are minding their own business, buying groceries in the supermarket or trying to relax in the park, so the last thing they need is to experience noise pollution. This behavior makes you seem desperate for attention, which is off-putting. It also makes people feel awkward because they don’t want to hear private details about your life or the life of the person on the call with you, whose privacy you’re violating.
13. You litter.
If you go around throwing your trash in public, you’re being disrespectful of other people’s right to use those areas, as well as the environment. It’s self-entitled behavior because you’re expecting others to pick up after you. Litter is also dangerous for cyclists, motorists, and pedestrians, as it can obstruct their pathways and sidewalks.
14. You’re too touchy-feely with strangers.
You might like to show people physical affection. Maybe you scream, “I’m a hugger!” when meeting someone new. However, this can cross a boundary if you don’t know the person well. If you try to hug them or touch their arm during conversation, you could be making them feel uncomfortable. Not everyone wants to be touched. Being too touchy-feely might make them feel like you do this with everyone you meet, which dilutes your feeling behind the gesture.
15. You have bad personal hygiene.
No one wants to be around a Smelly Nellie! If you haven’t brushed your teeth, showered, or applied deodorant, you could be making other people feel uncomfortable. You’re showing them that you don’t care about making an effort when spending time in their company, which is disrespectful. It’s always a good thing to be clean and present yourself well, as it shows consideration for other people who don’t need to smell your offensive odors.
16. You make negative comments about people you don’t know.
If you’re quick to gossip with people you’ve met, saying negative things about people who aren’t present, they’re probably going to wonder what you’ll say when they leave. It’s uncomfortable being around someone who has no filter and thinks it’s no big deal to comment about people’s appearance or other traits. It reflects badly on you, making you seem petty and untrustworthy, which will make people think twice about seeing you again.
