Some people don’t feel like they belong anywhere. For whatever reason, they don’t feel like they can connect with people very well, and it feels incredibly isolating. Here are 16 reasons you might feel like you don’t belong anywhere.
1. You lack identity.
As Verywell Mind explains, identity gives you a sense of self and purpose. It also gives you something to talk about with other people. If you don’t feel like you belong anywhere, it could be because you don’t know who you are and what you’re supposed to be doing with your life. Self-confidence is an essential trait when trying to fit in with people.
2. You had a rough childhood.
Childhood trauma can leave physical marks, but often times the deepest cuts are those left on the inside. People who experienced rough childhoods usually find it difficult to form emotional bonds in adulthood.
3. You’re too independent.
It’s important to be independent in many facets of life. However, when it comes to building relationships, independence can sometimes be a hindrance. People who are too independent often don’t let anyone in, and as a result, they may struggle to find their place in society.
4. You’ve experienced a lot of bullying.
Most people experience at least a little bit of bullying when they’re young. However, when someone experiences a lot of bullying it can cause them to withdraw from social situations. Then when they’re adults, they don’t have the social skills to integrate and build relationships.
5. There’s been too much upheaval in your life.
Change can be exciting but in moderation. If you’ve experienced a lot of upheaval throughout your life, you likely haven’t been in the same place for long enough to build long-term relationships. As a result, you don’t have a group of people that feel like home.
6. You aren’t happy in your day-to-day life.
When you aren’t happy on your own, it’s hard to find happiness with other people. Not only will you not feel joy when you’re in a crowded room, but your low mood will make it difficult to create bonds and form a sense of belonging.
7. You try too hard in social situations.
Sometimes the problem can be that you’re trying too hard. People who are socially awkward often put on a persona of what they think people want them to act like, but it’s superficial. When you aren’t acting like yourself, it’s hard to form real bonds. Even if you become friends with people, you won’t feel connected to them because you aren’t being your real self.
8. You’ve experienced a lot of rejection.
People who’ve experienced a lot of rejection, whether it’s with friends, partners, or employers have trouble not internalizing negative feelings. As a result, it stops you from feeling like you belong with anyone because you think there’s something wrong with you. So, you protect yourself from future trauma by giving up on trying to create new bonds.
9. You aren’t good at small talk.
No one likes small talk, but every relationship starts with it. You aren’t going to jump into deep conversations the second you meet someone. So, you need to be able to talk to people about the weather, work, and basic things at the start of a relationship. Otherwise, you won’t get the chance to form deep connections.
10. You haven’t reached the same milestones as your acquaintances.
It can be uncomfortable when you or your friends surpass each other in different life milestones. Whether it’s getting a promotion, getting married, or having kids, reaching a new milestone puts you in a different position in life from friends your age. Whether it’s you or your friends reaching the milestone, it can be hard to maintain relationships with people that aren’t in the same place in life with you anymore.
11. You’re very introverted.
Shy and introverted people often struggle to find groups they connect with, WebMD notes. Even if they have people they like, they aren’t great in group settings because they don’t like to speak up when lots of people are around. As a result, many withdraw and feel like they don’t fit in.
12. You don’t support cultural norms.
Cultural norms dictate how we act in society. If you don’t like the status quo and stray from it, you’ll likely find yourself on the outside of social groups. If you always stand up for your beliefs, that’s great! However, it can sometimes make people uncomfortable, and as a result, you might feel alienated and like you don’t fit in.
13. You’re self-conscious.
People who are very self-conscious often have low self-esteem. This trait has a huge impact on social relationships because it can be hard to be authentic if you’re insecure. If you’re always worried about what other people think, you won’t let your real self shine.
14. You’re too career-driven.
It’s admirable to be career-driven, but there’s a line where it can affect your social life. If you let work dictate your life at the expense of socializing, you might struggle to fit into groups when you take the rare opportunity to hang out with friends.
15. You have social anxiety.
Social anxiety is an issue for a lot of people, and can often be debilitating. The only way to overcome it is to seek help. People with social anxiety often give up on social relationships before they even try because they’re worried about negative reactions.
16. You don’t have mainstream hobbies.
Many relationships form because of a connection over shared hobbies. If you have atypical hobbies you might have trouble forming connections with other people. You can connect with people in niche online communities, but you struggle in real-world social interactions. It’s ok to have these hobbies, but branching out into some more mainstream activities could help you form more deep bonds.
