Some people are more charming and charismatic than others. They know how to strike up pleasant conversations with strangers and get their loved ones to open up to them. They know the right things to say to get people chatting, and they don’t need to make too much of an effort to make friends or get along with people. Luckily, you don’t have to be born with buckets of charm to learn how to navigate conversations with the grace and ease of socially intelligent people. Here are some phrases you can use to form instant connections.
1. “Tell me more about that.”
You can get to know a person better and kindle a real connection by simply taking a genuine interest in them and what they say. Socially intelligent people use this phrase to grease the conversation wheels and invite the other person to share more information about their experiences or views. It shows that they find the interaction stimulating and are curious to hear what the person has to say.
2. “What’s your take on this?”
Asking people for their opinions on something instantly makes them feel respected and valued, per Scientific American, creating an opportunity for them to connect with you in a meaningful way. Socially intelligent people don’t hesitate to ask people for their insights and give them a chance to share their thoughts.
3. “I get where you’re coming from.”
You don’t need to walk a mile in a person’s shoes to understand how far they’ve traveled. You can entertain perspectives that differ from yours and try to understand the motivations behind them without agreeing with them. Socially intelligent people often use this phrase to recognize and appreciate other people’s experiences and opinions, even if they can’t personally relate.
4. “You’re right!”
Socially intelligent people don’t have issues admitting when they’re in the wrong and someone else is right. They foster trust, honesty, and mutual respect by acknowledging when other people make a good suggestion or stronger argument.
5. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
When meeting someone they’re familiar with for the first time, a socially intelligent person may say this as a compliment. But it also serves to demonstrate that they’re excited about getting to know the individual. Now the other person feels welcome and more relaxed, and the conversation can flow smoothly from there.
6. “How did that make you feel?”
Socially intelligent people use this phrase to get people to open up, dig deeper into experiences, and analyze how they’re feeling. Apart from actively engaging them, this phrase tells people that their emotional well-being and innermost feelings matter and are worth expressing.
7. “What can I do to help?”
Most of the problems with human interactions arise because people approach them thinking that there’s a script to be followed. But the truth is that you don’t need to have all the answers or spend forever figuring it out. You can take a cue from a socially intelligent person’s playbook and just ask the other person how you can best support them.
8. “That’s a great point.”
Validating people’s thoughts during conversations makes them feel confident that they’re doing a good job of engaging you. As such, they’ll be more likely to contribute more to the discussion. This is why the socially intelligent leverage this phrase to bolster both chit-chat and dialogue involving heavier or consequential matters.
9. “I admire that about you.”
People love to be complimented, especially when the praise is genuine or directed at something specific. It makes them feel seen and appreciated. So rather than giving broad compliments like “great job” or “you’re awesome,” socially intelligent people spark connection by zeroing in on the exact traits they admire in the person.
10. “That sounds tough. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
Socially intelligent people understand that offering solutions or advice isn’t the only acceptable response when someone shares their struggles with you. Providing comfort and giving people a space to feel heard and understood is just as important, and that’s where this phrase comes in.
11. “I’m here for you.”
Telling someone that you’re there for them makes them feel reassured, loved, and supported. It lets them know that they matter to you, that you’re happy to shoulder their weight when it’s too heavy for them to lift on their own. As a result, the bond they share with you will deepen.
12. “That reminds me of the time…”
One of the most effective ways to connect with people is by telling stories related to what they’ve said or experienced to show that you can relate to what they’re feeling or going through. Socially intelligent people often use this phrase to share personal anecdotes and help the person they’re talking to feel less alone.
13. “I really appreciate your help.”
When they have a challenge and someone steps in to offer assistance, socially intelligent people use this avenue to show appreciation by making sure the person knows how grateful they are. The kind words will likely brighten the person’s day while improving the rapport you have with them.
14. “You’ve given me something to think about.”
Socially intelligent people know that being close-minded doesn’t get you very far with people. They’re always open to new ideas and perspectives and when they come across something that opens their eyes or ignites their curiosity, they’re not shy about letting the person responsible know.
15. Thank you for your patience/understanding.”
When someone changes their plans to accommodate you or spends time waiting for you, it helps to acknowledge their efforts and express gratitude, Harvard Health points out. It shows that you value their time and appreciate the commitment they’ve shown or the inconveniences they’ve weathered on your behalf. Social intelligent people make it a point to give thanks to people who go to trouble for them.
16. “I really enjoyed talking to you.”
The intent of using this phrase is to communicate that you value the time spent chatting with someone, which makes them feel good about themselves and a little closer to you. It’s a seemingly small act, but it can have a tremendous impact on your social connections, which is why socially intelligent people like using this phrase as a conversation closer.
