Sadly, we all know someone who seems to make every conversation about themselves. Maybe it’s a friend who constantly talks about their achievements or a coworker who always steers discussions back to their own experiences. While a little self-focus is normal, there are certain phrases that self-centered people tend to use that can be a major turn-off in conversations. Here are a few of them — if you’re guilty of uttering any yourself, you may want to rethink the way you communicate moving forward.
1. “That reminds me of the time I…”
We all love a good story, but when someone consistently hijacks conversations to share their own anecdotes, it can feel like they’re not really listening to you. It’s a classic sign of self-centeredness when someone can’t resist turning the spotlight back on themselves, even if the original topic had nothing to do with them. This is also known as conversational narcissism, and it’s a real drag to be around.
2. “I’m so busy, I barely have time to…”
While it’s perfectly fine to be busy, constantly bragging about how swamped you are can come across as a humblebrag. It’s as if the person is saying, “Look how important and in-demand I am!” A more empathetic approach would be to acknowledge that everyone has a lot going on and offer support or understanding.
3. “I always…” or “I never…”
Using absolute statements like these can be a sign of a self-centered perspective. It’s as if the person believes their experiences are the universal truth and that everyone else should conform to their way of thinking. Instead, try to be open to different perspectives and avoid generalizations.
4. “Me, me, me…”
This one’s pretty self-explanatory. When someone constantly talks about themselves and their experiences, it can be exhausting for the listener. A balanced conversation involves give-and-take, where both people feel heard and valued. Remember, it’s not always about you.
5. “That’s not as impressive as what I did…”
One-upping someone is a classic self-centered move. Instead of celebrating someone else’s achievements, the person feels the need to diminish their accomplishment by comparing it to their own supposedly superior experience. A more supportive approach would be to offer genuine congratulations and encouragement.
6. “I’m the only one who…”
This phrase often indicates a lack of empathy and understanding for others. It suggests that the person believes they’re unique in their experiences and that no one else could possibly understand what they’re going through. However, most experiences are universal in some way, and finding common ground with others can be incredibly rewarding.
7. “Why does this always happen to me?”
While it’s natural to feel frustrated when things go wrong, constantly playing the victim can be a sign of self-centeredness, per WebMD. Instead of focusing on how unfair life is, try to take responsibility for your actions and look for solutions to problems.
8. “I know, right?”
This seemingly harmless phrase can actually be quite annoying when used excessively. It can feel like the person is constantly seeking validation for their opinions and experiences. Instead, try to engage in a more meaningful conversation by asking questions and showing genuine interest in what others have to say.
9. “You wouldn’t understand.”
This phrase shuts down communication and dismisses the other person’s ability to empathize or relate. It implies that the speaker’s experiences are somehow unique and inaccessible to others. In reality, most experiences have common threads, and shutting down the conversation only creates distance and misunderstanding.
10. “It’s not my fault.”
Taking responsibility for one’s actions is a sign of maturity and self-awareness. Constantly deflecting blame and refusing to acknowledge one’s mistakes can be incredibly frustrating for those around them. A self-centered person will always find a way to make themselves the victim, even when their own choices led to the negative outcome.
11. “I’m better at this than you are.”
Putting others down to make oneself feel superior is a classic sign of insecurity and self-centeredness. Instead of focusing on building others up and celebrating their strengths, a self-centered person feels the need to constantly prove their own worth by belittling those around them.
12. “I told you so.”
This phrase is often used to gloat and revel in someone else’s misfortune. It’s a way of saying, “I was right, and you were wrong,” without offering any empathy or support. A more compassionate approach would be to offer help and understanding, even if the person did make a mistake.
13. “You’re so lucky to have me.”
This arrogant statement implies that the speaker is doing the other person a favor by being in their life. It’s a way of claiming superiority and control in the relationship, rather than acknowledging the value that both people bring to the table.
14. “But what about me?”
This phrase often pops up when someone else is sharing their own experiences or problems. A self-centered person can’t help but turn the conversation back to themselves, even when the focus should be on someone else. It’s a sign of a lack of empathy and an inability to truly listen to others.
15. “I deserve this.”
While it’s important to have a healthy sense of self-worth, constantly emphasizing your own deservingness can come across as entitled and self-centered. A truly humble person would acknowledge the role that luck and circumstance play in their successes, and express gratitude for the opportunities they’ve been given.
16. “My way is the right way.”
A self-centered person believes that their way of doing things is the only valid way. They may be inflexible, unwilling to compromise, and totally dismissive of other people’s ideas and opinions, Business Insider notes. This can lead to conflict and frustration in relationships, as well as a lack of growth and development for the individual.
