We all want to be liked, but sometimes that desire can lead us down a path of constantly putting everybody else’s needs before our own.
If you find yourself feeling resentful, unheard, or simply not living your best life, it might be a sign that you need to start standing up for yourself. No, it’s not about becoming a bulldozer who steamrolls over everyone else, but it is about finding that healthy balance between being kind and assertive. So, if any of these scenarios sound familiar, it might be time to start using your voice.
1. You avoid expressing your true opinions.
Maybe you keep quiet instead of disagreeing with someone in a meeting. Or you nod along with a friend’s opinion even if you don’t genuinely feel the same way. While a little diplomacy is important, constantly censoring your true thoughts might be a sign you’re afraid of being judged or disliked if people knew what you really believed.
2. You constantly apologize, even when it’s not your fault.
Do you find yourself saying “sorry” multiple times a day, even for things that aren’t your responsibility? Maybe you bumped into someone by accident, or you spilled a little coffee. While politeness is great, over-apologizing can be a sign of low self-esteem or a fear of conflict, per Psychology Today. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s not your job to constantly take the blame.
3. You have trouble saying “no” to requests, even when you’re overloaded.
People-pleasing can be a hard habit to break, but constantly saying “yes” to everything can lead to burnout and resentment. It’s important to learn to set boundaries and prioritize your own needs. You don’t have to agree to every request, and it’s okay to decline things that don’t align with your priorities or schedule.
4. You let people talk over you or interrupt you without speaking up.
Having your voice cut off mid-sentence can be frustrating and disrespectful. If you find that people regularly interrupt you or talk over you, it might be a sign that they don’t value your input or see you as an equal participant in the conversation. Don’t be afraid to politely but firmly assert yourself and ask to be heard.
5. You feel resentful or taken advantage of in your relationships.
Healthy relationships should be based on mutual respect and reciprocity. If you constantly feel like you’re giving more than you’re getting, or that your needs are being ignored, it might be a sign that you need to stand up for yourself. This could involve having difficult conversations, setting boundaries, or even reevaluating the relationship altogether.
6. You downplay your accomplishments or don’t take credit for your work.
Humility is a virtue, but it’s important to recognize and celebrate your successes. If you find yourself downplaying your achievements or letting other people take credit for your work, it might be a sign that you lack confidence or fear being seen as boastful. Remember, it’s okay to be proud of what you’ve accomplished and to own your contributions.
7. You go along with things you don’t want to do to avoid conflict.
Nobody likes conflict, but constantly avoiding it can lead to a buildup of resentment and dissatisfaction. If you find yourself regularly agreeing to things you don’t want to do just to keep the peace, it might be time to start speaking up and expressing your true feelings. It’s okay to have different opinions and to disagree with people.
8. You feel like your needs and wants are constantly being overlooked.
Whether it’s in your personal or professional life, it’s important to feel like your needs are being acknowledged and considered. If you constantly feel like your wants and desires are being brushed aside, it can lead to feelings of frustration and insignificance. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself and communicate your needs clearly.
9. You often feel unheard or dismissed in conversations.
Do you feel like your contributions to conversations are often overlooked or dismissed? Perhaps people interrupt you, change the subject, or simply don’t acknowledge your thoughts. Feeling unheard can be a sign that you’re not being respected or valued in the conversation. It’s important to communicate your needs and make sure your voice is heard.
10. You find it hard to ask for help, even when you need it.
Asking for help can be a sign of strength, not weakness. If you find yourself struggling to reach out for assistance, it might be because you’re afraid of appearing incompetent or burdensome. But remember, everyone needs help sometimes, and there’s no shame in admitting it. Don’t hesitate to ask for support when you need it.
11. You’re always the one making compromises in your relationships.
Compromise is an essential part of any healthy relationship, but it shouldn’t always be a one-sided affair. If you constantly find yourself sacrificing your own needs and desires to accommodate everyone, it can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction. Make sure your voice is heard and your needs are met in your relationships.
12. You feel guilty or selfish when you prioritize your own needs.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s necessary. If you constantly feel guilty or selfish when you put your own needs first, it might be a sign that you’ve been conditioned to prioritize everyone else at your own expense. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself so you can show up fully for people.
13. You let people make decisions for you without your input.
It’s okay to seek advice and opinions from other people, but ultimately, you’re the one who should be making decisions about your own life. If you find yourself constantly deferring to others or allowing them to make choices for you, it might be a sign that you lack confidence in your own judgment or are afraid of making the wrong decision. Trust yourself and take ownership of your choices, Healthline advises.
14. You feel like you have to be perfect to be accepted or loved.
Nobody is perfect, and striving for perfection is an impossible goal. If you feel like you have to be flawless in order to be worthy of love and acceptance, it’s a sign that you need to work on your self-esteem. Embrace your imperfections, learn from your mistakes, and remember that you’re valuable just as you are.
15. You experience physical symptoms of stress, such as headaches or stomach aches.
When you’re constantly suppressing your needs and feelings, it can take a toll on your physical health. If you’re experiencing unexplained physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, or fatigue, it could be a sign that you’re under stress and need to start standing up for yourself. Prioritize your well-being and find healthy ways to manage stress.
16. You often find yourself making excuses for other people’s bad behavior.
It’s one thing to be understanding and forgiving, but it’s another to constantly make excuses for people who consistently treat you poorly. If you find yourself justifying or rationalizing hurtful behavior, it might be a sign that you need to set stronger boundaries and hold people accountable for their actions. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect, and that includes not tolerating disrespect or mistreatment.
