We all want to project an air of confidence when walking through the world, but sometimes in an effort to come off as super self-assured, we end up exposing our deepest insecurities. If you’re doing any of these things, you’re showing people just how riddled with self-doubt you really are beneath the surface.
1. Bragging
According to Social Self, while it might seem like a sign of confidence, excessive bragging can actually be a sign of major insecurity. People who are secure in their achievements don’t feel the need to constantly highlight them. They’re perfectly happy to let their accomplishments speak for themselves.
2. Dominating Conversations
People who constantly dominate conversations, interrupt people, or make every discussion about themselves may seem confident on the outside. However, this could indicate a deep-seated insecurity and a need for attention or validation. Truly confident people are comfortable listening and giving other people a chance to speak.
3. Seeking Constant Reassurance
If someone is always fishing for compliments or seeking reassurance, they may be masking their insecurities deep inside. While it might seem like they’re confidently showcasing their achievements or qualities, they might actually be seeking validation to combat feelings of inadequacy.
4. Putting Other People Down
People who frequently belittle others or highlight their flaws might seem confident, but they’re often trying to divert attention from their own insecurities to make themselves feel better. True confidence doesn’t require putting anyone and everyone down to feel good about oneself. Instead, confident people lift other people up.
5. Overcompensating
Whether it’s flaunting wealth, exaggerating accomplishments, or constantly striving to be the life of the party, overcompensation can be a sign of deep-seated insecurity. People who are truly confident don’t feel the need to always be in the spotlight or prove their worth.
6. Being Overly Competitive
According to Psychology Today, while a healthy competitive spirit can be a sign of confidence, being overly competitive – especially about trivial things – can indicate insecurity too! Someone who’s secure in their abilities doesn’t need to turn everything into a competition to prove their worth.
7. Fear of Confrontation
A person who always agrees or avoids confrontation might seem like they’re confidently maintaining peace. However, this could reveal an underlying fear of conflict and a need for approval. True confidence includes the ability to express different opinions respectfully.
8. Being a Perfectionist
While it may look like high standards and a strong work ethic, perfectionism can often be a sign of feeling insecure. The need to be perfect can stem from a fear of failure or judgment. Confident people understand that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s a part of growth. They’re cool with embracing their flaws because they know they have plenty of amazing qualities to make up for them.
9. Being Overly Defensive
If someone frequently gets defensive or takes things personally, they might be masking these kind of feelings. Being overly sensitive to criticism can point to a lack of confidence in their abilities or worth. Confident people are open to feedback and can accept criticism constructively.
10. Fear of Being Alone
People who always need to be around others might seem sociable and confident. However, the fear of being alone can often indicate insecurity and a reliance on other people for their self-worth. Truly confident people are comfortable with their own company. In fact, they realize what an amazing gift it can actually be.
11. Micro-Managing
Someone who constantly feels the need to control every detail may seem like a confident leader, but this could actually reflect a serious problem. Micro-managing can indicate a lack of trust in others and a fear of losing control. Truly confident people trust in the abilities of their team and are comfortable delegating tasks.
12. Avoiding Eye Contact
While it may seem like a small detail, avoiding eye contact can be a suprising sign of insecurity. People who are truly confident are comfortable maintaining eye contact during a conversation. It shows that they’re engaged and not afraid of expressing their thoughts and opinions.
13. Constantly Checking Social Media
While being active on social media can appear like just an everyday habit we all have, constantly checking for updates or likes can signal inner turmoil. If someone’s self-esteem hinges on the number of likes or comments they receive, they might be seeking external validation to compensate for feelings of inadequacy.
14. Frequently Changing Opinions
People who frequently change their opinions to match those around them may seem adaptable and open-minded. However, this could indicate a lack of self-confidence and a need for acceptance. Truly confident people are comfortable having and expressing their own opinions, even if they differ from the majority.
15. Excessive Apologizing
Those who apologize excessively, even when it’s not necessary, might seem considerate, but they may be battling other issues inside. Over-apologizing can indicate a fear of confrontation, a need for approval, or feelings of unworthiness. Confident individuals understand that they don’t need to apologize for their existence or for having needs and desires.
16. Overworking
People who are always working might seem ambitious and driven, but this could be a sign of something else at play. Overworking can stem from a fear of failure or a need to prove themselves. Confident people understand the importance of balance and are capable of detaching their self-worth from their productivity levels.
