Ever get that vibe from someone that they might be feeling a little… less than? It’s not always obvious, but there are subtle signs that someone might be battling feelings of inferiority when they’re around you. While we all have moments of self-doubt, some people carry a heavier burden. Let’s take a look at some behaviors that might indicate someone’s grappling with those insecure feelings in your presence.
1. They constantly compare themselves to you.
They can’t help but measure their achievements, appearance, or possessions against yours. They might make comments like, “I wish I had your talent,” or “You’re so lucky to have that job.” While some friendly competition can be healthy, constant comparisons can be a sign they feel they don’t measure up, Healthline notes.
2. They downplay their own accomplishments.
Even when they achieve something great, they brush it off as if it were no big deal. They might say things like, “Oh, it was nothing,” or “Anyone could have done it.” This is a way to avoid drawing attention to their own successes, as they fear it might highlight the perceived gap between you and them.
3. They seek constant validation from you.
They constantly fish for compliments and reassurance. They might ask for your opinion on their work, appearance, or even their personality. They crave your approval and need you to tell them they’re good enough, as they don’t believe it themselves.
4. They become overly competitive.
They see every interaction as a contest, whether it’s a game, a debate, or even a casual conversation. They need to prove they’re smarter, funnier, or more successful than you, as if winning will somehow erase their feelings of inadequacy.
5. They put themselves down in front of you.
They might make self-deprecating jokes or point out their flaws in an attempt to deflect any perceived criticism from you. They believe that by acknowledging their shortcomings first, they can control the narrative and avoid being judged.
6. They avoid eye contact or seem nervous around you.
They might avert their gaze, fidget, or stumble over their words when you’re talking to them. This could be a sign of nervousness or insecurity, as they feel uncomfortable being in your presence and fear being exposed as inferior.
7. They get defensive or argumentative when you offer constructive criticism.
Even if your feedback is well-intentioned, they might take it as a personal attack. They might lash out, try to justify their actions, or even turn the tables and criticize you instead. This is because they feel threatened by any suggestion that they could be better, as it reinforces their feelings of inadequacy.
8. They try to outdo you or one-up you.
If you share a success or a story, they’ll immediately try to top it with their own more impressive anecdote. They might try to show off their skills, knowledge, or possessions to prove they’re not inferior to you.
9. They copy your style or mannerisms.
They might start dressing like you, using similar phrases, or even adopting your hobbies or interests. This is a way to feel closer to you and emulate your perceived success or attractiveness. They might unconsciously believe that by becoming more like you, they can overcome their feelings of inferiority.
10. They withdraw or isolate themselves in your presence.
Instead of engaging in conversations or activities, they might retreat into their own shell and avoid interacting with you, per WebMD. This could be because they feel uncomfortable or intimidated by your presence, or because they’re afraid of saying or doing something that might reveal their insecurities.
11. They brag excessively about their own accomplishments.
They might go on and on about their achievements, skills, or possessions, even if it’s not relevant to the conversation. This is a way to compensate for their feelings of inadequacy and try to prove they’re worthy of your respect and admiration.
12. They become overly critical of themselves and everyone else too.
They might nitpick at their own appearance, work, or personality, constantly finding fault in themselves. They might also be critical of other people, pointing out their flaws and mistakes, as a way to feel superior and deflect attention from their own insecurities.
13. They try to undermine your confidence.
They might make subtle digs at your achievements, appearance, or personality, or they might try to discourage you from pursuing your goals. This is a way to level the playing field and make themselves feel less inferior by bringing you down to their level.
14. They become overly agreeable or submissive.
They might always agree with your opinions, even if they don’t genuinely feel the same way. They might go out of their way to please you or avoid disagreeing with you, as they fear losing your approval or triggering your disapproval.
15. They try to impress you with material possessions or status symbols.
They might flaunt their expensive clothes, cars, or gadgets, or they might name-drop influential people they know. This is a way to compensate for their perceived lack of intrinsic value and try to gain your respect through external validation.
16. They gossip or spread rumors about you.
This is a way to tarnish your reputation and make themselves feel better by comparison. They might try to create drama or conflict in your life, hoping to make you look bad and themselves look better.
